


Zippers and Ear Nibbles

by MelancholySeraph



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Age Difference- Dean is 22 - Castiel is 34, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Begging, Blow Jobs, Blunt Castiel, Butt Plugs, Cockwarming, Come Eating, Come Marking, Consensual Kink, Cute, Daddy Dom Undertones, Dating, Dating Castiel/Dean Winchester, Developing Relationship, Dom Castiel/Sub Dean Winchester, Edgeplay, Embarrassed Dean Winchester, Gentle Dom, Helpful Castiel, I UPDATE TAGS AS I GO, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Japanese Rope Bondage, Jealous Castiel (Supernatural), John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Kink Negotiation, Kinky, Light Bondage, M/M, Marking, Mutual Masturbation, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Porn with Feelings, Possession Kink, Possessive Behavior, Praise Kink, Scening, Sexting, Spanking, Stern Dom Castiel, Suspension, Teasing, Toys, Twink Dean Winchester, blindfolding, guided masturbation, no supernatural, playroom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-25 07:37:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 79,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14374029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelancholySeraph/pseuds/MelancholySeraph
Summary: Dean's going to get coffee and doesn't realize his zipper is undone, but Castiel does. Little does Dean know he just ran across an experienced Dom who now has his eye on him. Need I say much more?





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment your thoughts, I love hearing from you guys.  
> P.S. If I had known this was going to be more than a one-shot I would've NAMED IT SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
> 
> Come scream at me on Tumblr if you've got a Destiel request, we'll talk about it, or a question about ma fics. I'm severelyoptimistickitty
> 
> Also, if anybody ever needs to talk, about anything, feel free to message me. I've connected to several now very good friends through this story, and we talk daily. If any of you ever needs anything, or you're not in a good place, please feel free to talk to me. I'd love to help and I'm told I'm a great listener, and I will never judge. Treat me like a friend, guys. :)

  
Dean strides into the coffee shop with a confident air. Not cocky, but bright and happy. He's feeling really good today, and it's showing in the bounce in his walk and the smile on his face. It's just been an awesome day so far, hopefully, it'll continue that way. Good days are few and far between so he's going to milk this _great_ day for all it's worth. He looks around as he enters and gives it a pleased smile. It's a nice place, really. Quaint and comfy. Warm wood panels, and cute blue and yellow tiles decorate the place. Yeah, that should totally not go together, but it does. There's a row of tables along the wall to his right that's framed by large windows and then there's some going down the wall towards the back of the shop. The rest of the place is dominated by the large counter and the kitchen. There are a few couples sitting along the wall, and a man with some stubble for days sitting at one of the tables by the window, reading a book. It's nice and calm, but not really quiet with stuff cooking in the kitchen and casual conversation going on.  
  
Dean walks up to the counter and smiles at the pretty lady working the register. She looks about twenty-something, probably older than him and she's got long blonde hair and big brown eyes with a curvy figure to match her cheerleader look. She reminds him of Sam, weirdly enough. _Okay, nope._ He smiles anyway and says, "Hi there. Aside from being pretty, what do you do for a living?" She laughs and raises an eyebrow.  
  
"Well, thanks, but did you really just ask me what I do for a living when I'm literally working right now?" Dean huffs a laugh and leans across the counter. "Alright, maybe not my best line, but it's accurate. And you talked to me, so it kinda worked?"  
  
He winks. She smiles and copies his pose. "Thanks for the compliment, sweetie, but I'm pretty sure my girlfriend would be mad if I tried to take you home. But it's tempting. You're a cutie."  
  
She did a wink of her own and stands back up at the register awaiting his order. "So what can I getcha, Hot Stuff?"  
  
"You have a girlfriend?" _Oh, that was rude. Real smooth, Winchester. Real smooth._ She raises an eyebrow at him but her smile doesn't change. "Yes, I do. Is that a problem?" _Crap._ "No! Sorry, that was rude. Just surprised me is all."  
  
"Why?" She asks, an amused light in her eyes. He flushes and nearly stammers but manages to keep his words clear. "I don't know. I just don't usually- I mean, meet anyone else- I'm shutting up now."  
  
She laughs, but not in a way that she's making fun of him. He's thankful the coffee shop is relatively empty. There are only a few people here so hopefully, nobody just heard him being a moron. She leans forward and asks with a conspiratorial whisper, "I take it you're not exactly a zero on the Kinsey scale?" Dean blushes a bit and wonders how the hell he got himself into this situation.  
  
"Ah. No. Not exactly. Probably a solid 3.5," He says quietly, but with a hint of pride. It hadn't been all that long ago that he'd come out as bisexual to Sam (not that he'd been that surprised because - _"You can only be so obsessed with Dr. Sexy and Harrison Ford before it's a little gay, Dean.")_ Dean'd been a little miffed that Sam had pretty much already suspected, but he guessed it was a good thing since he'd been so accepting of it.   
  
_("Dean, I don't care who you date, man or woman, but if they treat you bad I'm gonna have to beat them up." "You know that's my job, right? Comes with the big brother package." "Yeah, but I'm bigger than you." "Not my fault you're a damn sasquatch.")_ The conversation had dwindled into insults there but Dean knew Sam was cool with it, which was _awesome._  
  
"Awesome. I thought for a second you might be one of those homophobic a-holes." Dean laughs at her, cause he really wasn't expecting that.  
  
"What can I getcha, hon?" She asks again and he remembers he was here for coffee. He squints at the menu above her for a second before ordering a number three, which in his not so humble opinion is delicious. "Comin' right up."  
  
She smiles - she does that a lot, he notices - and turns to mess with the complicated jumble of machinery that he assumes is the magical contraption that creates coffee. He's just watching the woman, Sara, her name tag read, move around and grab a cup from the dispenser then mess with the machine. He feels a slight breeze of air next to him and he looks over before jerking back in shock.   
  
_'Blue'_ is the only word his brain can create and process at the moment. There's a dude standing right next to him, incredibly close, much closer than any stranger should be standing. It's the guy with the stubble from the window booth he noticed earlier. Bookish looking guy. His hair is black and it's everywhere, sticking up in all different directions like he just got laid. His lips look pink and chapped and perfect. Dean finds himself staring unabashedly at this beautiful man. He has the bluest eyes Dean has ever seen and he can't look away. So when the guy gives him a slight smile the only response Dean can come up with is a very eloquent, "Uhh."  
  
The man's smile widens a little and he looks Dean up and down quite obviously. Normally he'd feel weirded out, but this guy doesn't give him a creepy vibe, even if he is being kinda creepy. The man thrusts his hand out after his eyes meet Dean's again and he takes it without thinking about it. _What?_ The man's hand is warm and very strong, Dean can feel the taut muscles and rough callouses and he likes it. "I'm Castiel, it's a pleasure to meet you."  
  
_Cas-tee-el?_ _That's interesting._ Dean latches onto the first syllable though and manages to get his thick tongue to form words, "Hiya, Cas. I'm Dean. Nice to meetcha."  
  
The man's eyebrows raise in surprise and he smirks as he lets go of Dean's hand. "Do you always slur all your words together or are you intoxicated?"   
  
Dean's mind goes kinda blank. Shit. This guy is blunt.   
  
"No. I'm not drunk, thank you very much. I didn't do it on purpose." He mumbles. Cas tilts his head to the side with a weird smile.  
  
"It was accidental?"  
  
"Well, yeah, I was just surpr- Uh-"  
  
"Surprised? By what?"  
  
_Shit._  
  
"Uh... You. You kinda scared me, man."  
  
"Oh. I didn't intend to."  
  
"You're a little close, dude."  
  
"My apologies." Cas doesn't move back though. In fact, he steps closer. Now they were nearly nose to nose. _Did Dean miss something?_ "Uh, Castiel?"  
  
"Yes, Dean?"  
  
"Why the hell are you so close?"  
  
"Because when you walked in... I noticed this..." Castiel's hand reached out and laid flat against his chest. Dean gasps and tries to move backward but finds himself against the wall. He's trapped between Cas's warm _(haha, hot!)_ body and a wall. If he wasn't kind of freaking out it would actually be hot as hell to be pushed against a wall by a tantalizingly alluring man with a voice that just screams sex. Castiel's hand slid down his abdomen and towards his happy trail then it was sliding across the front of his jeans and he gasps again as Cas's palm pushes against his cock through... not denim. His hand is pressing against his filling cock through thin material. His boxers. What the fuck? Then a harsh zipping sound breaks Dean out of his haze and he realizes. His friggin' zipper had been undone and Castiel was zipping it up for him. Dean blushes scarlet and he can't think of a single thing to say. Cas leans up and his scruff scrapes across Dean's cheek as his lips near Dean's ear.  
  
He whispers, "I enjoyed that, Dean. And you did too. I can feel that much." His palm grinds against Dean's hardening dick through his jeans and Dean has to choke off a whine. This is the most action he's had besides his own right hand in months. Shit, he can not do this in a coffee shop. Then Cas's rough tongue traces the outer rim of his ear and goosebumps erupt over Dean's skin and race down his spine.  
  
"If you want more," He rumbles, "And not just sex, mind you," He nibbles on the lobe of his ear, "But more too - say yes. If not, well, that one's obvious. I'll be at my table. It was a pleasure to meet you, Dean."  
  
Then Cas is gone, walking away across the open floor of the shop and settling into his corner booth next to the window looking entirely unaffected. Unlike Dean. Dean is a little sweaty, and a lot turned on, and he hopes to God it wasn't obvious because _dear lord_ he is in public!  
  
"Uhh, I'm not entirely sure what just happened, but that was **_HOT_."** A bubbly voice interrupts his internal freakout and he looks over at the counter where the blonde, Sara, is leaning over it eyeing him.   
  
"Hot," She repeats, and Dean has to agree. Holy crap. He just got felt up in a cozy little Starbucks knock-off, and who does that? Apparently, he and Castiel do. _Hmm..._ He likes the way that sounds together.  
  
"I've got your coffee, by the way." _Crap._ Dean jerks a little and steps forward to the counter immediately, moving his flannel to cover the semi in his pants that he so desperately wishes he didn't have but enjoys despite that. God, it's a thrill, but seriously, what the hell just happened? He grabs his coffee from Sara and throws five bucks on the counter distractedly. She laughs.  
  
"Do I wanna know?"   
  
"I think... I think I might've just got... a date? Maybe? I mean, if I say yes." She quirks her eyebrows and looks over at Cas sitting in his booth. Dean looks too.  
  
The sun is streaming through the window and throwing light beams directly across Cas and his table. His profile is framed with the wonderful light, and with the way it's shining on his inky hair it's almost like Cas has a halo.   
  
"Oh, honey. If you say 'no' to that I'm gonna have to smack you for being so stupid. He's a sweetie. He's in here all the time, and I've never seen him do that. I think he likes you." Dean laughs and looks back at her as she hands him his change. "I think I'd smack me too."  
  
She smiles and says, "Good. Now go get your man."  
  
"Can do. Thanks... for the coffee, and the, uh, Kinsey scale thing." She winks at him. "Not a problem, sweetie. You guys'd make a cute couple, you know?"  
  
He laughs, "I think we would. I'm gonna go talk to him."  
  
"Good luck!" She calls as he walks away. Summoning a courage he doesn't feel he nearly throws himself into the opposite side of the booth from Cas, startling the man and making him jump. "De-"  
  
"Yes!" He interrupts. Cas's face erupts into a big smile, and Dean can't help but mirror it. This is going to be _awesome_.  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from FB group Destiel Forever: Don't embarrass a guy by telling him his fly is open in public. Just be a man, walk over there, and slowly zip it up for him.
> 
> I really hope I didn't eff this up. I hope it's good and you guys like it, but I am SUPER nervous, so if you did hate it, please just don't even tell me. *cowardly, but totally doing it anyway.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of y'all asked for more, so I'm delivering. I cannot freaking wait to write these two being smutty! That sounds terrible, but wow... *fans self because of ideas

  
"Really? Yes?"

Cas's voice is so deep and gravelly. God, this guy is _hot_. Especially with that big, gummy smile, he's wearing right now. Dean knows he's serious about this. This guy seems to be all kinds of interesting, and what just happened against the wall was still making him shiver.   
  
"Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I mean... We should probably talk. Like, uh, what's your last name?" Cas laughs and Dean immediately falls a little in love with the sound. "My last name is James."  
  
"Mine's Winchester."

"Pleasure to officially make your acquaintance." Dean chuckles.  
  
"You don't think we might be a _little_ past that already?" Dean points down at his crotch and Cas smirks. "Fair point. But it was indeed a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

Wow, this guy is just... _awesome_. "Yeah, it was. Dude. Are you always so forward like that? You could have just told me, you know."

Cas seems to consider this for a moment, "Yes. But where's the fun in that? I overheard your conversation about where you lie on the Kinsey scale, and I noticed that your fly was undone when you walked inside. I've been told I'm much too blunt, so I apologize for my actions if it's necessary. It was out of bounds by all conventional standards."

Dean shakes his head. "Nah, it's cool. Beyond cool. Just not something that happens every day, ya know?"

"I would certainly hope that strangers don't routinely stick their hands into your pants and fondle you in public places. That would seem a little odd."

Dean chokes on the sip of coffee he's taking and starts laughing, trying desperately to keep the coffee in his mouth. He's finally able to swallow and he takes a deep breath. Cas is smirking at him looking rather smug. God, this guy is perfect. "Uh, no. I don't get fondled in public a lot. But uh... I'm down for more of it if it's with you." Dean is extremely glad he's able to say that with confidence and not let the blush that's creeping up his neck show on his face.

Cas's smile darkens and suddenly he just looks _dangerous_. And it is sexy.   
  
"I would like that." He rumbles, and damn, Cas's voice makes Dean's cock twitch in his pants. The implications of that statement have Dean's mind flying off to every porn scenario his mind has ever played for him. He wonders what Cas is into sex-wise. Is he kinky? Dean's going to go with his gut and say hell yeah he is. If he likes exhibitionism, he could be into all kinds of other things, Dean's mind reasons. The thought is exciting and he presses a palm down into his growing erection, trying to stifle his reaction. It's not very effective. Cas must notice him wriggling in his seat a little because his smile grows and now he's showing teeth. He leans across the table a bit and lowers his voice even further.   
  
"Are you aroused, Dean?"

Dean glances around the room but nobody is paying attention to them. He looks back at Cas and nods slowly. Cas grins and leans back, looking completely at ease leaning against the back of the booth. "Good. I like seeing you like that. You're all flushed and squirming, and we've barely touched. It's intriguing." Damn, this guy is going to kill him.  
  
"As much as I like it, I did say I wasn't just interested in sex. I'd like more with you. Do you feel the same?"

There's not even a question about that. Dean wants to get to know this guy. He's all kinds of awesome and sexy and smart, obviously, but Dean knows there's more there. He wants to find out what's under all those layers, clothes and otherwise. "Yeah. Yeah, man. I want to get to know you. Probably should do that before anything else, huh?"  
  
Cas chuckles at his disappointed tone. "Yes, most likely. May I have your phone number?"  
  
Dean blinks at the rapid change of subject but says yes and when Cas pulls his phone out Dean rattles off the number from memory as Cas inputs it. They repeat the process with Dean's phone, and now he has the number of what has got to be the hottest guy Dean has ever seen. He knew today was going to be a good day. His phone dings with a message notification and he quickly unlocks it to look.

 **12:20 PM: <Unknown Number:** _Is this really you, Dean? You're pretty when you blush like that for me._

Dean nearly swallows his tongue. _Wow_. Casting a quick glance up at Cas (who is smirking) Dean types out a reply.

 **12:20 PM: >Dean:** _Dude, what if I had actually given you a wrong number? And 1, I'm a dude. 2, I'm not pretty. Say handsome or some shit. Jeez._

Cas smiles at the message Dean sent before catching his eye and saying, "No, Dean. There are different connotations to the words 'pretty' and 'handsome.' Pretty is attractive in a delicate way. Handsome merely means good-looking, and Dean, you are much more than good-looking."

"I'm not delicate."

"No. Not personality-wise, or body-wise for that matter. But your face belies that statement. Your features are sharp, but they have a delicate air to them. Especially in this light," Cas gestures out the window where the warm golden light is shining in. The way Cas is looking at him doesn't make him uncomfortable, just very self-aware. He's conscious of the way he's holding himself, and the look on his face. It's a little weird.   
  
"Beautiful," Cas murmurs. Dean wants to object, but really, if Cas wants to think he's nice to look at, what's so wrong with that? Dean kind of likes the attention. "Uh, thanks, I guess. You're not bad on the eyes, either."   
  
Cas gives him a small smile. "I've been told I'm aesthetically pleasing."   
  
Dean rolls his eyes and huffs, "Well, that's one way to put it I guess. You're friggin' hot, Cas."

"Thank you, Dean."

A few moments pass in silence and Dean starts to get a little uncomfortable under the scrutiny and he shifts around in his seat. Cas seems to know he's uncomfortable because he drops his gaze and looks down at his phone with a curious glance.   
  
"I need a picture of you." He murmurs and looks back up. "May I have one? For the contact information?"

"Uh, yeah. Sure. Do you want me to send one?"

"I'd like to take one now if that's alright with you?"

"Yeah, s'fine. Knock yourself out, Mr. McCurry." Cas looks up. Dean likes the way he tilts his head to the side when he's confused. "That's not my name."

"I know. Steve McCurry. He's a photographer dude. Or was. He might be dead by now."

"Oh. You were making a reference. I didn't understand it."

"Yeah. I can see that." Dean chuckles. The sudden clicking of a camera catches him off guard and he eyes Cas curiously. For the first time, Cas seems to be a little shy, maybe sheepish, as he looks around his phone. "I wanted to catch you laughing. You have a beautiful smile, Dean."

Dean grins wide and says, "Thanks," The camera clicks again, but he was expecting it this time. "So, Cas, what do you do for a living?"

"Bees."

"Uh. You do bees? I figured you were kinky but..." He lets the sentence hang and laughs when Cas sputters, "That's not what I meant! I mean, I'm an apiologist, and I have a degree in entomology as well. I study bees. Honey bees, specifically."

"Oh, that's cool, I guess."

"Are you allergic?"

"Nah. The only thing I'm allergic to is cats."

"That's fortunate."

"Yeah, I guess."

"What do you do for a living, Dean?"

"I... Well... I don't know, man." Dean rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. Cas tilts his head to the side again and his eyes are kind of squinty. Dean feels like he's under a microscope. Like this guy can see into his soul or something. "Are you embarrassed by your occupation?"

"I - Um-"

"There's no need to be embarrassed. Perhaps I can guess?" _What?_   Well, alright then.

"Sure, go for it."

Cas nods, satisfied, and squints again as he studies Dean. "Well, you are tan, and have slight freckles on your face, so you either like to spend time outside or your job requires you to. You are built well and have strong muscles that indicate actual labor, not ones born from gym use. Your hands are rough and calloused indicating, again, that you perform some sort of manual labor. You have oil stains on your fingers and black gunk under your fingernails." Shit, he thought he got it all. Dean feels really self-conscious about it now.    
  
"You smell of motor oil and leather, so my guess is that you're a mechanic, or work with some sort of machinery."

Wow. Cas is like really observant. Or really smart, whichever. "Wow, uh. Yeah, sorta." Dean mumbles. Cas didn't really miss the mark.

"Sort of?"

"I help run a machine shop. But I also do a little carpentry."

"Do you have partial ownership in the machine shop?"

"Sort of. Our uncle Bobby left it to me and my little brother Sammy, but he didn't have any interest in it. My friend Benny helps me out, but it's mostly his now, honestly."

"Why is that?"

"I dunno. I like fixing up cars, but after a while, it's a little tedious. After a couple years, it got to be the equivalent of pushing papers in an office, and I'd rather slam a stapler into my forehead than do that, so I really only work on specialty cars now. The oldies. Antique cars are where it's at."

"I take it you're a classic car man?"

"Damn straight. See her?" Dean points out the window at his Baby sitting on the curb. The sun gleams off her black paint and makes her shine like oil. "That's my Baby. She's a '67 Chevy Impala and my pride and joy."

"It's obvious. She looks very well kept. She's beautiful, Dean."

Dean smiles widely. Nothing's better than getting complimented on his car. Okay, well he could think of a few things that would be better. Most of them involve Cas on his knees with his plush lips wrapped around his- _Okay, no. Bad timing, Winchester. Chuck it in the closet, for now, you can play later._ Cas's voice interrupts his fantasies. "And what were you thinking about?" _Shit._

"Eh, nothing. Just things on my mind. So man, uh, probably should've asked this way earlier, but you're single, right? No boyfriend is gonna come to try to gank me or anything?"

"No, Dean. I am monogamous in my relationships. Do you have a boyfriend? Or girlfriend?"

"Nope. Single Pringle at the moment." He winced. _What the fuck?_ Are you nine years old, Winchester? _Jesus._ He didn't know where that had come from.

"Good. I would like you to stay that way."

"Uh..."

"I mean only that since we are "getting to know each other" that we actually do so. I don't have a claim on you since we are not dating. Yet. But I would like you to remain single if it isn't too much to ask. I don't play with other's toys." _Holy shit_. A shiver runs down Dean's back at the thought of being Cas's toy, and wow, he was not expecting those words to have that reaction on him.   
  
"Mmm." Cas makes an inquisitive sound. His voice is low and suggestive. "You like that don't you?"

Damn. Is this guy like the god of sex or something? Dean wants him. _Bad_. "Yes, you do. Oh, Dean, we are going to have fun. You know that?"

"I'm starting to get the idea." He mumbles. He jumps because suddenly Cas's hand is sliding up his thigh under the table. "Cas, what're you doing?"

"Dean, have you ever been with a man before?" Cas asks, completely ignoring Dean's question.

"I, uh, no, not really. Not like... sex-sex."

Cas nods as if to say 'that explains a few things' and continues rubbing Dean's thigh through his jeans. Then the hand is gone and so is the comforting warmth that was spiraling through him at the contact. Cas stands up and walks to the other side of the booth, encouraging Dean to scoot over and let Cas sit down. When Cas is seated he leans forward until they're nearly nose to nose. "I have to leave, but I would like to try something. I _have_ to try something."

Hoping he's not reading this wrong, Dean whispers, "Kiss me, Cas."

Cas surges forward and their lips clash. It's hot and wet and freaking amazing. Dean can't get over the difference between kissing Cas and kissing a woman. Cas's stubble is scraping his cheeks and it just adds to the sensations surging through him. Cas's tongue licks across Dean's lips so he opens them in invitation and Cas automatically takes him up on it, tongue thrusting into Dean's waiting mouth. Their tongues entwine and lust surges through Dean and he gasps. He feels Cas's smile against his lips as he backs away with just a slight peck to end the kiss. Which was fucking amazing for the first kiss between strangers. Cas's blue eyes are shining with amusement and his pink lips are a little kiss swollen quirked up in a small smile.

"I knew I was right to have to do that. And I will be doing it again," Cas leans forward until his teeth are scraping across the lobe of Dean's ear, "Soon." He sits back with a smug smile then glances worriedly at his watch. "I have to go, Dean. But I will text you. Is that alright?"

"Yeah. Yeah, it's fine. Dude, are you some sort of sex god or something?" That makes Cas laugh and the sound echoes through Dean's bones with whiskey warmth.

"I'm not a god, no. But I have been called an angel. If you stick around long enough, you'll find out why. I hope you stick."

"Oh, I'm sticking. Promise." That makes Cas smile again before he stands. "This has been amazing. You'll be hearing from me soon. Goodbye, Dean."

"Agreed. Bye, Cas. I'll talk to you later." He calls as Cas walks away. Damn. Cas is wearing tight black jeans that accentuate certain assets. A perfect ass. He hates to see Cas go, but damn, Dean loves to watch him leave.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No update schedule for this one, I'll just be posting as I write, so if you want to read it as I post I would say you should prob bookmark or subscribe so you know when I post a new chapter. Unbetaed do mistakes are between me and Grammarly. :D
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it. Comment and tell me!!!!!!


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINNA GET EXPLICIT. I hope you enjoy, please comment and tell me your thoughts. :D

Dean unlocks his phone and opens the message hoping it was from Cas. It was!

  
**9:47 PM: <Cas:** _Dean, are you awake?_

 **9:48 PM: >Dean:** _Yeah. Hi._

 **9:48 PM: <Cas:** _Hello._

 **9:48 PM: >Dean:** _What's up?_

 **9:49 PM: <Cas:** _Just talking to a beautiful man. What are you doing?_

  
Dean smiled. Cas was not only sexy and smart but cute too.

  
**9:49 PM: >Dean:** _I'm just relaxing. You trying to sweet talk me?_

 **9:49 PM: <Cas:** _That depends, is it working?_

 **9:49 PM: >Dean:** _maybe. I'll be honest though it's still weird to be called beautiful._

  
It really was. It felt like a woman's word. He wasn't trying to be sexist, but honestly, who called guys beautiful? He had definitely never been called that before.

  
**9:50 PM: <Cas:** _You are very beautiful. It should not be weird. I like seeing your blush when you're called beautiful. :)_

 **9:51 PM: >Dean:** _who said I was blushing? ;)_

 **9:51 PM: <Cas:** _Are you? Don't lie._

 **9:52 PM: >Dean:** _......_

 **9:52 PM: >Dean:** _yeah_

 **9:52 PM: <Cas:** _Good. :) When can I see you again?_

 **9:53 PM: >Dean:** _I mean... anytime, really. I'm busy tomorrow, but I'm off the next day, and my weekends are usually clear. What kind of schedule does a bee person keep?_

 **9:54 PM:** **< Cas:** _Apiologist, Dean. And a busy one, though purely by my own choice. This job could actually be quite lax if I allowed it to be._

 **9:54 PM: >Dean:** _Why did you want to study bees? Or do, whatever._

 **9:55 PM: <Cas:** _I find them intriguing, always have. They work as a team, they make plans and follow instructions. Usually much better than humans do. Though they can be trained out of that. ;)_

Uh, whoa. Did Cas mean that the way Dean was taking it? That would be... a little scary but a lot awesome.

 

 **9:55 PM: >Dean:** _Dude... Does that mean what I think it means?_

 **9:55 PM: <Cas:** _That would depend on what you think it means._

 **9:55 PM: >Dean:** _You're a kinky bastard, aren't you?_

 **9:56 PM: <Cas:** _Kinky, yes. Bastard... debatable. :)_

  
That makes Dean laugh out loud. He has a feeling Cas really could be bastard if he wanted to be.

  
**9:56 PM: <Cas:** _Does it bother you?_

 **9:56 PM: >Dean:** _No. I don't care what you do, man._

 **9: 58 PM: <Cas:** _Not even about what I will do to you?_

  
Oh hell. Dean's cock twitches with interest at the ideas running through his mind from Cas's words.

  
**9:58 PM: >Dean:** _Shit, Cas... What are you planning on doing? ;)_

  
**10:00 PM: <Cas**: _I would like to fuck you, Dean. I want you squirming and begging underneath me as I massage your prostate with my fingers, stretching your pretty little hole open for me. I want you begging for my cock, begging for an orgasm that I refuse to give you until you've earned it. I want those pretty pink lips wrapped around my cock as I fuck your throat. I want to tie you to my bedframe and make your body mine in every way, worshipping you with my mouth and my hands until your cock is red and aching and leaking, not letting you cum, or making you cum multiple times when you're far too sensitive for the stimulation. I want to pound into your tight little hole until you're being pressed so hard into the mattress you're struggling for air. I want you begging brokenly, and weeping as I fuck you from behind. I want to make you forget everything but my name. Sir._

 **10:01 PM: >Dean:** _Holy fucking hell._

 **10:01 PM: <Cas:** _Too much?_

 **10:01 PM: >Dean:** _Not enough. God Cas. I'm hard as a rock right now_

  
He really is. Dean's cock is already straining against his pajama pants to the point of pain. Hoping this is going in the direction he wants it to, Dean removes his clothes and scrambles up higher onto his pillows. He grabs the lube from his nightstand and squirts a bit in his hand before dropping the bottle next to his hip. He's hoping he'll need more of it. He strokes his cock lazily as he waits for Cas's message.

 

 **10:02 PM: <Cas:** _Does that mean you want more?_

 **10:02 PM: >Dean:** _Yes_

 **10:02 PM: <Cas:** _Yes, what?_

 **10:02 PM: >Dean:** _Yes... Sir?_

 **10:02 PM: <Cas:** _Good boy._

 **10:03 PM: >Dean:** _Fuck, Cas. You're going to kill me._

 **10:03 PM: <Cas:** _Tell me, Dean, what are you doing right now? Where are you? Describe the situation to me._

 **10:04 PM: >Dean:** _I'm laying in my bed in my bedroom. The light's off, but there's some light coming from the tv, it's on mute though. The rooms kinda blue and black,_ _and I'm naked on top of the blankets. All I can really hear is crickets and like traffic from the highway, it's pretty far away. So all the sound that I can really hear is me stroking my cock. I want you, Cas._

 **10:04 PM: <Cas:** _Sir, Dean. Don't forget again. And I want you to stop touching yourself. Can you do that for me?_

 **10:05 PM: >Dean:** _Well, yeah, Sir, I could. But I really don't want to._

 **10:05 PM: <Cas:** _Stop touching yourself. Now, Dean._

  
  
An accidental whine falls from Dean's lips. Cas is so authoritative, even over a text. Dean could easily imagine it being Cas's voice telling, no, _ordering_ , him to stop.

  
  
**10:05 PM: >Dean:** _Alright, Sir. I'm not touching myself. Now what?_

 **10:06 PM: <Cas:** _I can't wait to train that sassiness out of you. Dean, are your nipples sensitive?_

 **10:07 PM: >Dean:** _Yes Sir_

 **10:07 PM: <Cas:** _Use your left hand to continue texting me. I want you to take your right hand and tease your nipples. Pull them, tug them, twist. I bet you like a little pain?_

  
  
Dean does as he's asked. He runs his hand up over his abdomen, not caring that it's still wet with lube, and across his chest. He tweaks his right nipple a bit before pulling it harshly. He lets out a slight hiss at the little zing of pain and pleasure running through him from the pull.

  
  
**10:07 PM: >Dean:** _Yes Sir, I do. This feels good._

 **10:08 PM: <Cas:** _Good. I want you to rub your hand over your chest, just feel it. Imagine it's my hands on you. Use your nails. Does that feel good, Dean?_

  
  
Dean's already breathing a little harder. He wants to touch his cock so badly. It's arched up towards his stomach and dripping precum and fuck, he needs something more, he's going nuts.

  
  
**10:08 PM: >Dean:** _Yes. I want more, Sir. I can picture it being your hands and fuck, it feels good but I want more. Please?_

 **10:08 PM: <Cas:** _So good for me, Dean. Because you begged so prettily for me, you may touch your cock. But there's a catch, you may only use one finger. Run it up and down the length of your cock, slowly, quickly, it doesn't matter, but only one finger. Do you like playing with your hole?_

 **10:09 PM: >Dean:** _Fuck, yes. Sir. I like it. I like this._

 **10:09 PM: <Cas:** _Do you have lube?_

 **10:09 PM: >Dean:** _Yes, Sir._

 **10:09 PM: <Cas:** _I want to call you._

 **10:10 PM: >Dean:** _Nothing's stopping you..._

 

The phone rings and Dean quickly slides his thumb across the screen to answer it. Cas's deep voice now fills the relative silence of his bedroom.

 _"Hello, Dean."_  
  
Fuck. His voice is low and gravelly and Dean bets he's turned on. God, after all this he hopes he is.

"Hey, Cas." If his voice is a little breathless it's nobody's business but his.

 _"Are you still playing with your cock, Dean?"_ Jumping straight into it then. Okay, Dean can do that.

"Yes, C-Sir. I am."

 _"Good boy,"_ _Fuck_ , those words rumbled in Cas's sex voice is almost too much for Dean. _"Stop touching your cock. I want you to put the phone on speaker and lay it by your head. You're going to need both hands."_

"Yes, Sir." Dean quickly complies, lying the phone by his pillow and grabbing the lube because he has a feeling he's going to need it.

_"Good. Now, do you have your lube?"_

"Yes."

_"Are you okay with anal play right now, Dean?"_

"Hell yes. Sir."

_"I want you to slick up your fingers, all four on your left hand. I don't want you to have to stop in the middle to relube your fingers. Tell me when you're finished."_

Dean complies as quickly as he possibly can, and breathlessly says, "Finished, Sir. What's next?" Cas's warm laugh slides through him like aged whiskey, settling in his chest.

 _"Now I want you to tease yourself. Slowly run a finger along your perineum then down over your hole. Tell me how it feels."_ Dean spreads his legs wide and toys with himself, feeling his body begin to heat up.  
  
"God, it feels so good, C-Sir. It's been a while. I forgot just how good it is. Please, can I have more?"

_"You're learning quickly, Dean. Good. Use one finger, relax, then push it in. Don't try to be quiet, I want to hear you."_

Dean whimpers at the words without his own volition but he doesn't care. He slides his finger down over his puckered hole, moving it in small circles while steadily adding more pressure. When his finger slips inside he lets out a small punched gasp and he heard a quiet groan from the phone. Cas was touching himself too. Good.

_"When you're ready, I want you to fuck yourself with the finger you have inside. Pleasure yourself, Dean, let me here you. But do not cum. Do you understand?"_

"Yes, Sir. I won't. Oh, God, this feels so-" Dean quickly shuts off what his brain wanted to be babbling by clenching his mouth shut as he slowly fucks himself with his middle finger. It feels so good, he just wishes it was Cas's cock fucking him instead of his own hand.

_"Can you add another finger? If you can, do it."_

"Oh, _fuck_ Sir. _Yes._ It feels so good." Another finger slips inside and it barely burns at all. He relishes the stretch. He starts thrusting his fingers in and out of himself quickly, making his cock bounce from the movement and God, he wants to cum. He realizes he had said that out loud when Cas laughs.

_"Oh, you want to cum already? No, not yet, toy, not yet. I want to tease you. I want to hear you beg for it. Add another finger for me. Let me hear you."_

A small moan escapes him as he adds a third finger and he really feels it this time but it only adds to his pleasure. Dean's a masochist at heart, and this is just making it harder (pun intended) for him to control himself. It feels so damn good.

" _Please,_ Sir. I want to cum. I wanna touch myself. Please? Please?"

It occurs to Dean then that he has been really submissive when it comes to Cas. He's literally letting the guy control his orgasm right now. Surprisingly, the thought doesn't freak him out, only spurs him on. It's hot. Cas groans when Dean begs for him. _"Oh, such a good boy for me, Dean. Can you find your prostate for me, baby boy? If you can't I'll tell you how. I want to hear you when you find it."_

Dean moans at the words. He barely spares a second thought to what Cas just called him, he's almost too far gone to care.  
  
"I-I can find it. Oh God, Sir," He crooks his fingers up towards his naval and brushes across the gland. He can't help the shout that escapes him when he does. " _Oh, fuck!_ " He's already so worked up that it feels amazing when normally it'd take more stimulation to have him shouting.

_"Yes. yes, that's it. Stroke it, baby boy. That's it, Dean. Be good for me and you get to cum."_

Dean whimpers and fucks himself stupid on his fingers. He thinks maybe he could cum just like this even though he's never done that before. He keeps thrusting his fingers inside himself. He ends up turning over on his side, nearly on his stomach, for a better angle and then he's rutting against the bed. The friction is divine and hellatious at the same time and he can already feel the familiar heat pooling in his groin. He's about to cum and holy God he wants to so bad. "C-Sir. Sir, I want to cum. Please? I need to cum. Please, Sir? I'm about to-"

 _"Stroke your cock, Dean. Cum for me. Cum for me now, baby boy. Let me hear you. I'm close."_ Cas groans loudly across the phone and it spurs Dean on in the most delicious of ways.

Dean complies immediately and wraps his hand around his aching cock with an unforgiving grip. He fucks into his hand and then back against his fingers once. Twice. Again, - _"Cum for me, Dean!"_ \- and then he's cumming with a loud shout as he fiercely rubs against his prostate. His vision whites out as he cums in spurts across the sheets and distantly he hears Cas moaning loudly too. He continues to slowly fuck his fingers as he rides out his orgasm. When he finally spirals down enough to regain higher cognitive function he realizes Cas is talking to him.

_"-hear me? Dean? Please say something."_

"M'ere' Cas." He mumbles, but it works. His tongue feels like a thick block of wood in his mouth. Cas chuckles. _"So you are alive."_

"I'm not sure. I might've died. This feels like heaven."

 _"Hmm."_ Cas's voice is contemplative, and Dean wonders why but doesn't waste the energy trying to figure it out. He pulls his slick fingers from his ass with a slight wince. _"That was so good, Dean. You were amazing for me."_

"It was good, Cas. Holy shit," He sighs, "Probably the best orgasm I've ever given myself. Or well, you kinda gave it to me. Whatever. It doesn't matter. That was fudging awesome."

_"I'm glad to hear it. You need to clean yourself now."_

"Is that an order, Sir?" He asks saucily. He's tired.

_"No. Just a suggestion. Waking up covered in dried semen is never the most pleasing of situations, but it's up to you."_

"Alright. I'm moving." He groans as he gets up and goes to grab a wet washcloth from the bathroom. He wipes himself down as quickly as he can. He walks back to the bedroom and grabs his phone off the bed before pulling the sheet off and throwing the pillows back on. "You still there?"

 _"I'm here, Dean. I'm not leaving you."_ Dean knows that Cas didn't mean the words the way they sounded to Dean, but they warm him anyway and he feels like he has sunshine sitting under his ribs. It's a nice feeling.  
  
"S'good to know. I'm stickin' too, just so you know."  
  
Cas laughs, _"That's good to hear as well."_  
  
Dean just flops down onto his naked mattress and jerks the blanket up around his shoulders. _"Dean, you need to sleep, but I have an odd request for you first."_

"Any more odd than baby boy, Cas?" He jokes, a small smile gracing his face.

_"Very funny. No, I don't suppose so. May I talk to you until you fall asleep?"_

Something jingles at the back of his head and he thinks there might be a reason for that. Something...? He can't remember. "Sure. S'fine, Cas. Kinda nice actually, but I am tired. I don't know how long I'll be able to stay awake."

_"The point's not to stay awake, it's to go to sleep. Don't worry about it. Just listen to me okay? Let yourself drift. And Dean?"_

"Yeah?"

_"You did really good today. You were amazing, and I loved every minute of being with you. Not just the phone sex, but the coffee shop, texting, all of it."_

"Thanks. You too, man. Today was like the best day I've had... maybe ever. That was awesome."

 _"Yes, it was."_  
  
Dean can literally hear the smile in Cas's voice. _"Now, I'm just going to talk, and you're going to go to sleep, okay?"_

"Okay. No problem over here, Regis. You have fun talking."

Cas starts talking about college and how he got his degree. He tells a funny story about a man named Balthazar and something they did with guinea pigs. Dean's drifting in and out as he listens. Cas's voice is low and soothing and pleasant, and Dean falls asleep to the pleasing lull of it.  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment your thoughts if you'd like! I love hearing from you guys!


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty much just relationship progression so I can write smut in the next chapter, lol. :D Hope you enjoy!

  
  
When Dean wakes up his body is humming pleasantly from his "workout" last night. He likes it. He opens his eyes and stretches, his muscles warming as he tenses then relaxes across the bed. When he opens his eyes he immediately finds his phone about two inches from his face. He unlocks it and sees he has messages from Cas.

  
**7:13 AM: <Cas:** _Good morning. I hope you slept well. Last night was amazing. :D_

 **7:36 AM: <Cas**: _I already texted, but I wanted to say again just how fantastic you were last night. You were perfect, Dean. :)_

 **7:43 AM: <Cas:** _I wonder when you will wake up. Will you please text me when you do?_

 **8:02 AM: <Cas:** _I know I'm being ridiculous, but I'm worrying. I don't know what time you usually wake up. Please text me, okay?_

  
  
Dean smiles at Cas's messages. Cas is kinda cute when he's worried.

  
  
**8:31 AM: >Dean:** _Hey Cas. I'm fine, man. That's probably the longest I've slept in years though. I don't know if that's good or bad, lol. Why're you so worried about me?_

 **8:31 AM: >Dean:** _And last night was frikken awesome. Can we do it again? ;)_

  
  
Dean sits up and drags himself into the bathroom so he can shower. He wiped off last night but he still has lube and sweat dried on him and it's gross. When he gets out the bathroom is steamy and hot. He dries and dresses as quickly as he can and makes his way to the kitchen, phone in hand. He makes himself a bowl of cereal because he's feeling lazy this morning and checks his phone. He's got messages waiting from Cas.

  
  
**8:47 AM: <Cas:** _I'm glad you slept well. I did too. Can't imagine why. ;) Dean, are you familiar with the principles of aftercare? And in answer to your question, as long as you have no objections, absolutely! :D_

 **9:01 AM: >Dean:** _I think you know why. ;) And uh, sorta? I mean I've heard of it. No objections over here man. None whatsoever._

 **9:03 AM: <Cas:** _I do. :) Aftercare is a common BDSM practice. But that's why I stayed on the phone with you last night. After your brain releases all those happy chemicals from your release, you can drop down really low. I didn't want that to happen to you. You didn't, did you? I'm so very glad you have no objections, baby boy. ;)_

 **9:04 AM: >Dean:** _Oh... That makes sense actually, I thought what you were doing rang a bell, but I was too out of it to worry about it. And nah. You did good. I'm fine, promise. And I don't think I would object to anything you want to do to me. ;)_

 **9:04 AM: <Cas:** _I don't think you know just how pleasantly that statement affects me._

 **9:04 AM: >Dean:** _You could always show me. ;)_

 **9:04 AM: <Cas:** _Naughty boy._

 **9:04 AM: >Dean:** _I think you like it. ;)_

 **9:05 AM: <Cas:** _I do indeed. I can't wait until we play together, Dean. Well, I'm being assuming, aren't I? Would you like to play in person? Like we did over the phone?_  
_If not, I won't be upset, Dean._

 **9:06 AM: >Dean:** _Yeah you would, lol. I'm not stupid. Cas, I was being serious yesterday. I wanna know you. Date you, if you'll let me. We can just be friends or whatever for now, though we mighta crossed that line last night. But dude, seriously? I'm totally down for that. In person, texting, phone, whatever. I'm just down for you. We should hang out and stuff, but seriously. Yeah man. That's my answer._

 **9:07 AM: <Cas:** _That answer makes me incredibly happy. I feel the same. I would like to do all those things I mentioned last night in person. And more. And I want to spend time with you. Nonsexual time. Do you like movies?_

 **9:07 AM: >Dean:** _Everybody likes movies, Cas. Why? You asking me on a date?_

 **9:07 AM: <Cas:** _I am. Would you like to go on a date with me?_

 **9:07 AM: >Dean:** _I'd love to. But uh... Where?_

 **9:08 AM: <Cas:** _Why do you ask?_

 **9:08 AM: >Dean:** _I'm not... I'm not exactly out. My brother knows, but none of my friends do. I'm not ashamed or anything, it's just... I don't know. I haven't told them._

 **9:08 AM: <Cas:** _Are you worried about what they will think of you if they see you on a date with a man?_

 **9:09 AM: >Dean:** _Not exactly. I know they wouldn't care, they're all good people. It's just that I haven't shared that part of me with them, you know? It's still personal, and it's still mine._

 **9:09 AM: <Cas:** _I understand completely. In that case, if you don't feel entirely comfortable going out to watch a movie, would you like to stay in and watch one? You can come to my house if you're comfortable with that._

 **9:11 AM: >Dean:** _That sounds awesome. I'd like that. But listen Cas, I gotta go man. I'm meeting a couple of "clients" (douchebags) today about a 1969 Maserati Ghibli 4.7. It's pretty hefty deal, so I've gotta be on my best behavior or Benny'll kill me. It cool if I text you after I'm done?_

 **9:11 AM: <Cas:** _Of course. Feel free to text me anytime, I will answer as soon as possible. I look forward to talking to you later. And hey, Dean?_

 **9:12 AM: >Dean:** _Yep?_

 **9:12 AM: <Cas:** _I really enjoyed last night. I REALLY enjoyed it. ;) Thank you._

 **9:12 AM: >Dean:** _You don't have to thank me Cas. It was awesome for me too. ;) I'll ttyl man. :)_

 **9:13: AM: <Cas:** _Goodbye. :)_

  
  
When Dean finally gets home he's past the point of irritation. Damn morons. Wouldn't know their ass from a hole in the ground. Jeez, he sounds like Bobby. He smiles at the thought. Could be worse. Could sound like Rufus. He rubs his hands over his eyes tiredly. He hates when their clients are rich people. They're so damn snooty and treat Dean like he's garbage even though he's the one that's going to be restoring their car. He only realizes he's calling Cas when the phone is ringing in his ear. Shit. He didn't even think about it. Maybe he should just- _"Dean?"_   Too late. Crap. _"Dean, are you alright?"_ Oh yeah, he's supposed to talk.

"Hey, Cas."

_"Are you alright? You sound tense."_

Dean sighs heavily and walks across his living room to settle on the couch and he props his feet up on the battered coffee table. "It's just been a long day. I'm sorry, man. I didn't mean to call you. It just kinda happened."

_"How do you call someone on accident?"_

"I don't even know. I was just aggravated and I just got home and then my phone was ringing and I was calling you. It's weird, dude."

_"We don't have to talk now if you don't want to."_

"No, uh, it's cool. As long as you're good. I'm not interrupting anything am I?"

_"No,you're not. I'm here for you if you need me. I know we haven't known each very long, but I feel close to you."_

"Yeah? Me too, Cas. It's weird, but uh, I like it. It's nice."

_"I'm glad to hear that it's mutual. What would you like to talk about, Dean?"_

"I don't know, man. Anything. I've been dealing with assholes all day. Some intelligent conversation would be great."

_"What makes them assholes?"_

"Ugh. They were just so damned stupid. They were hovering over me the whole time I was looking over the Maserati, which is a great car by the way, and they were questioning me about everything. These idiots didn't know the first thing about cars! They questioned my credentials and qualifications like I'm stupid or something and not literally fixing their precious piece of garbage. It was ridiculous!"

_"It does sound frustrating. You should've had Benny escort them out."_

"I didn't bother. He likes to keep the rich people happy, and if they get happy by being overprotective ignorant assholes while I'm fixing their shit, it gets us our paychecks."

_"You have partial ownership. You don't need to be treated that way. Especially in a professional environment."_

"Yeah. It doesn't matter, man. It's just been a long day. Can we talk about something else?"

_"Of course. Would you like to hear about my day? Or we can talk about something else. My people skills are rusty. I apologize."_

Dean laughs, "It's alright man. I like talking to you. Tell me what you did today." Dean lays down on his back with his phone to his ear, closing his eyes and just listening to Cas's smooth rumbling voice. It was comforting as hell and Dean didn't care that he thought that. Not one damn bit.

_"I keep my own beehives and I maintain the bee colonies, keeping the hives healthy, and harvesting the honey. I hold a corporate job and report to an office, and sometimes I do lab work, but I spend a lot of time with my hives. Today I was harvesting honey from the hives. I did a lot of other things, mostly gardening. This day didn't turn out to be as demanding as I thought it would be. I have a large garden."_

"What all do you grow?"

_"A milieu of things. Cucumbers, tomatoes, corn, sunflowers, peppers, onions, potatoes, melons, squash, zucchini, garlic, basil, oregano, some other herbs, honey suckle, a multitude of different flowers for my bees."_

"Shit, Cas. What do you do with all that?"

_"I sell a lot of it at the farmer's market, I give the surplus that I don't eat away to my neighbors."_

"That's awesome. Do you like to cook?"

_"Yes. It took years for me to be able to do it proficiently. I used to burn toast if I so much as looked at the toaster, but now I make an excellent veggie lasagna from scratch, so I'd say I've improved. Do you cook?"_

"Mostly burgers and steaks and stuff, but I uh... I like to bake. I make pies a lot. I love pie. It's - It's like my favorite food ever. And now I make it better than anyone I know. Just so I can have it anytime I want."

_Cas chuckles, "That's innovative of you, Dean. I make rhubarb pie rather well. What's your favorite kind?"_

"Pecan, man. Pecan is the bomb. Pecan is the Marilyn Monroe of pie."

_"I take it that that means really good?"_

"Obviously."

Dean laughs. They end up talking for a couple of hours before They end the call so Dean can sleep. Again, he sleeps longer than his normal four hours, and when he wakes up he feels amazing. He's determined that it's going to be another good damn day. Just like the one he met Cas on.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me your thoughts if you'd like. I love hearing from y'all. :)
> 
> P.S. Y'all, by the way, I don't know shiz about apiology. I googled some stuff, but if anything's inaccurate, I'm sorry. Forgive me. :)


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mostly just useless setup, dirty jokes, and flirting(?). I could probably write PWP, but I like the anticipation and chemistry between these two. I won't string you along much longer. We're getting smutty in the next chapter! I fully expect celebrating and balloons in the comments.

**8:11 AM: <Cas:** _Good morning, Dean. :)_

 **8:12 AM: <Cas:** _Can we go on our date tonight?_

 **8:13 AM: <Cas:** _You said you weren't busy today, I believe. You should come over. Would you like to?_

  
The messages are the first thing Dean sees when he wakes up and it makes him smile. He never thought he'd be such a sap for a guy he met a couple days ago but it feels right so he doesn't give a damn. Cas is an awesome dude. Dean rolls over onto his back with phone in hand and the blankets bunched around his bare abdomen. Sunlight is filtering in through the curtains and he feels good in the sleepy subdued way. He texts Cas back hoping for a prompt response.

  
**8:47 AM: >Dean:** _Mornin Cas. :) Yeah, we can. I don't have anything to do today. Hanging out at your place would be awesome. I'm pretty sure you're not a serial killer. And even if you are I think I can take you. ;)_

 **8:49 AM: <Cas:** _I think you underestimate me, Dean. ;) When would you like to come over? My schedule's free as well._

 **8:49 AM: >Dean:** _Like yesterday dude_

 **8:50 AM: <Cas:** _I take it that means "soon". You're welcome to come whenever you like Dean._

 **8:50 AM: >Dean:** _Is that so?  ;)_

 **8:50 AM: <Cas:** _Notice I said "come" not "cum". Rules apply to when you get to cum. ;)_

 **8:51 AM: >Dean:** _Rules like what?_

 **8:51 AM: <Cas**: _Rules like I want to be the one to make you cum this time. Can you come over soon?_

 **8:51 AM: >Dean: ** _Did movie night just turn into Netflix and chill?_

 **8:51 AM: <Cas: ** _No way of knowing yet. ;) We'll see. Come over and we'll talk and see what happens._

 **8:52 AM: >Dean: ** _I think I know what will happen. The anticipation is killing me, Cas._

 **8:52 AM: <Cas: ** _Good. You're gorgeous when you're squirming, baby boy. ;)_

 **8:52 AM: >Dean: ** _Fuck, Cas. You've programmed me._

 **8:53 AM: <Cas: ** _What do you mean?_

 **8:53 AM: >Dean: ** _I mean you say_ _baby boy and all of a sudden I'm hard. This is ridiculous._

 **8:53 AM: <Cas: ** _Mmm. That's a delicious thought... Baby boy._

 **8:53 AM: >Dean: ** _You know you can't actually stop me from cumming if I want to right?_

 **8:54 AM: <Cas:** _Of course not. This is one of the things we need to talk about, Dean. We've been playing, that's all. If you truly want to cum before coming over here,_ _or after, either way, I will not stop you or punish you for it. You are a free person, Dean. I'm not looking to own you. Just claim you. ;) If you're okay with that._

 **8:54 AM: >Dean:** _More than okay with it, Cas. I was just wondering what you'd say. ;) (Don't kill me cuz I said that) Can I get dressed and come over now? There's really no point in sitting around my house all day._

 **8:54 AM: <Cas:** _Are you asking permission?_

 **8:55 AM: >Dean:** _Shit. No. I mean, not like that. Dammit... Can I come over or not?_

 **8:55 AM: <Cas:** _Of course, Dean. I was just seeing what you'd say. ;)_

 **8:56 AM: >Dean:** _Lol, you're a dick. I'm getting dressed now. Address?_

 **8:56 AM: <Cas:** _If I'm a dick, I think that makes you a needy bottom. I like the idea. ;)_

 **8:56 AM: >Dean:** _Fuck Cas you're gonna be lucky if I get through the door without humping you, lol._

8 **:56 AM: <Cas:** _Can't say I have any objections to that. 1569 Seraphim Street, Dean. White house, blue shutters, blue door, you won't miss it._

 **8:57 AM: >Dean:** _Since I'm literally almost out my door now I expect you to feed me when I show up. I'm skipping breakfast here. ;)_

 **8:57 AM: <Cas:** _I'd be more than happy to feed you, Dean. ;)_

 **8:58 AM: >Dean:** _Is everything a dirty joke with you? Fuck, I love it._

 **8:58 AM: <Cas:** _When it comes to you, yes. Now stop texting and start driving. Be safe, Dean. I'll be waiting for you._

  
  
A shiver runs through Dean at the words and excitement pools in his stomach. Shit. He starts Baby up and pulls out of his driveway in a rush, barely missing the mailbox. _Watch it, Winchester!_  
  
He's heard of Seraphim Street, and he thinks he knows where it is. About twenty minutes later he finds out he's right. It's a pretty lane surrounded by wide oaks and aspens and there's only one house at the end of the lane. Cas's. Dean pulls into the driveway with more than a little nervousness. He tightens his hands on the steering wheel and rests his head against it for a moment, closing his eyes and gathering his thoughts. He takes a deep breath and climbs out of the car, observing the house. It's nice and well-kept, there are tons of flowers growing in the yard and in boxes on the windows, and in pots on the blue porch. It's actually kind of cute. He sees one of the curtains twitch by the door then it's opening and Cas is stepping out on the porch. Dean's breath catches in his throat. Cas is barefoot, wearing low-slung grey sweatpants and a black T-shirt that clings to his muscular shoulders. Crap. He wasn't really expecting Cas to be built like that. Cas's hair is all crazy; it looks like he's been running his fingers through it.  
  
"Hello, Dean," He calls, a wide smile gracing his face.  
  


  
**~Castiel~**

  
  
Dean looks gorgeous. Castiel eats him up with his eyes, taking in the flannel and jeans, noticing that they look hastily thrown on. The thought makes him smirk.  
  
"Hey, Cas," Dean says as he walks up the path and onto the steps, stopping awkwardly in front of Cas for a moment, then throwing his arms around Castiel in an embrace. He was unprepared for the hug but it's nice. Dean is warm and strong against him and Cas wraps his arms around him, holding him to his chest and breathing in his scent.  
  
"You smell good," Dean mumbles and it makes Castiel chuckle.  
  
"You smell delicious, baby boy." The pet name slips out without him really thinking about. Luckily Dean doesn't stiffen and turn away, he just kind of sighs, "Dick move, Cas."  
  
Dean pulls away with a laugh, amusement sparking his green eyes and a smirk playing on his lips. "So what's for breakfast? I'm starving."

"Come in, I'll give you the tour, then we can eat."

"Sounds good to me.

  
  
**~Dean~**

  
  
Cas steps backward to allow him through the door and Dean steps inside, looking around. The entrance goes immediately into the living room, and it's a wide, spacious area blanketed in light pine wood and gorgeous oak finishing. Dean immediately likes it. There's a tan couch situated in the middle of the room facing a fireplace. It's nice, and Dean really likes the way Cas decorates.

  
  
**~Castiel~**

  
  
Castiel likes the way Dean is looking at his home. He seems surprised by the way it looks. Perhaps he was expecting a dungeon. The thought makes Cas laugh and Dean looks at him with amusement. "Something funny, Chuckles?"

"Just you, Dean."

Dean quirks an eyebrow at him in question but Cas just waves a hand dismissively. "Would you like to see the kitchen now? I have food waiting."

"Yeah, sure. Let's do it." Cas has to suppress a smirk at the innuendo hidden in that sentence and leads Dean to the kitchen, liking the way Dean's eyes trail over his body as he walks. It feels almost like a physical touch, and it makes Castiel ache. God, he wants Dean... very, very badly. But he has to be patient. He wants Dean to make the first move. That's important. Cas isn't going to force him into anything. He knows his lifestyle, and his attitude itself can be a little suffocating if not overwhelming at times.

"So, you got anything good?" Dean claps his hands and rubs them together, looking oddly similar to a vaudeville villain as they enter the kitchen. Cas gestures for Dean to sit on one of the black iron bar stools at the counter and Castiel grabs the plates sitting on the opposite counter by the stove and places them on the bar. Castiel sits across from Dean and watches his face light up as he takes in the food. "Jeez. You cook all this, Cas?"

"Yes. I thought you would be hungry. I know I am." He says lightly, but a little thrill of pleasure shoots through him as he sees Dean work out the meaning behind the words. Lord, is this man perfect?  
  
"Well, flapjacks and sausage work for me. I'm hungry too, Sir." Shit. Castiel suppresses a shiver and shoots Dean a glare which makes him chuckle. "Just trying to level the playing field. _Sir_."

"Dean, unless you would very much like to get jumped, I suggest being quiet and eating your food, or it's going to be cold when you get back to it," Castiel says with a hint of dark warning in his voice.

Dean laughs. "I like when you get all squinty, Cas. It's cute. Besides, angry angel Cas is hot."

"Angel?"

"Well, yeah. I think I have an idea why you're called that."

"Oh, do you? What do you think it is?"

"Can't say. You'll just have to wait and see."

"You are frustrating, but I find it strangely attractive."

"All part of the charm." Dean flashes him a blinding smile and Castiel feels his insides melt. In a flash, Castiel pulls out his phone and snaps a picture. He's pleased that he gets a crystal clear picture and he saves it lovingly into his phone. "Did you just have to save my beautiful face?"

"I did indeed. I like your beautiful face. I like it a lot..." Castiel lets his lust drip into the words and he loves the faint blush rising in Dean's cheeks at the suggestion.  
  
"Good. But you might wanna look away cuz I'm about to stuff it now." Castiel laughs then starts laughing harder when Dean precedes to "stuff his face" like a chipmunk. No. Like a squirrel. That's more accurate. He's adorable, even if he has atrocious table manners. It makes him more endearing, and Castiel loves it. He recognizes he's falling in love with the man but is unafraid. Everything happens for a reason, and he's going to milk this experience for all it's worth. Even if Dean decides he doesn't want Castiel, Cas will be thankful for the time he got to spend with Dean. He really hopes they get to play later so he can add that to his memories. He wants to bring Dean pleasure in so many ways. He's been dreaming about it, sleeping and while awake. He bites his lip as he thinks. Keeping his self-control in place might prove to be _more_ complicated than he first thought. Dean is damn near irresistible. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Love y'all for reading. :)


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what happened, guys. This was supposed to be an all out balls-to-the-walls furious fantatic PWP sex scene, and instead, it became this. This squishy ball of I don't even know. I don't know what this is but I'm so happy with it, I cannot even begin to describe it. It has *Crowley's voice* Feelings! It became so much more than what I meant for it to be, but I think it fits this fic perfectly. Also, a brief note, I may've taken a few liberties with the male's anatomy and the ability to orgasm multiple times like is described. It IS possible, and it does happen, but I know next to zilch about it and my googling is sub par, lol. It might be a while before I get to update again. I'm sorry, but I gotta life sometimes. 
> 
> I hope it lived up to all your expectations! Love y'all.

  
  
  
**~Dean~**

  
  
  
Today has been a great day, Dean thinks as he settles in beside Cas on the couch. He's picking a movie on Netflix and Dean's watching him.  
  
It's been awesome, honestly. They ate, and hung out, Cas showed Dean his beehives and his garden, both of which had been way more dramatically cool than he would've thought they'd be. They'd even played a board game, which Dean had won, then Cas had challenged him to a game of Twister, which had not ended well for Dean. Being that close to Cas, and at some points being wrapped around him had been terrible for his libido and he's had to excuse himself a couple of different times in order to go calm down. Cas had just smirked knowingly and let him. Dean was excited.

He's been practically vibrating with excitement since dinner. He and Cas had talked, and he understood now. Cas wanted to date him, and he'd had submissives in the past. A regular old Dom/sub relationship without feelings, but Cas really likes him, and Dean likes Cas, so he wants to try more for them. But Cas is naturally dominant, and he likes playing like that. He told Dean that if/when _(yeah right, they're both down to bone at like, anytime)_ they get to the point of having sex, it can just be vanilla if that's what Dean wants. And while he had appreciated that, that's not what Dean wants.  
  
Dean wants nasty, dirty, kinky, hot-as-hell-sex. And he wants it soon. Cas settles in beside Dean after placing the remote on the coffee table. He throws an arm around the back of the couch and Dean leans over until he's cuddled into Cas's right side. Cas nuzzles his head into Dean's hair for a moment before turning his attention to the movie. Dean likes this movie, Patrick Swayze is a god, but he's got an angel sitting right next to him. And Dean _wants._

They both know they're just leading up to this, but the anticipation is killing Dean. So he starts slow, just lightly touching Cas's thigh with his right hand. He just places it there at first, letting it lay lightly on his thinly clothed leg. The only sign that Cas even notices is a slight tensing of his abdomen, but he doesn't look away from the tv. Dean plans to make that change. He rubs his fingers in slow circles up Cas's leg, getting closer to his crotch. Right before he can run his hand over the growing bulge there an iron grip closes around his wrist then he's looking up into _blazing_ blue eyes. Cas's voice is dangerously soft and a little thrill runs up Dean's spine. "Dean, what are you doing?"

"Hopefully seducing you," Dean quips with a smirk on his face. A slight smile twitches on Castiel's lips.  
  
"I like that idea, Dean. But I think I'd rather seduce you," Cas leans in and nibbles around Dean's jawline. "How does that sound?"  
  
Dean shivers as Cas's hot breath hits his ear. "Sounds like a plan. Sir."  
  
Cas groans, "God, I've been waiting to hear that word all day. Dean, I have to ask," He pulls back until they're not touching and Dean feels a second of rejection before Cas is stroking a thumb across his cheekbone, "It's alright. I just want to ask, how far are you wanting to go tonight? I'm fine with whatever you decide and I'm not going to push you into anything, Dean. You need to know that."

"I want it all, Cas. Sex-sex."

"You're sure?"

"No, I'm stringing you along." Dean says with dead-serious sarcasm, then he grins, "Yeah, duh. Soon, please."  
  
With consent given Cas leaned back in and nipped at Dean's bottom lip. Once, twice, then his tongue was sliding along Dean's lips. He opened them and let Cas in, reveling in the man's skilled tongue. He could only imagine how that tongue would feel on his cock. Cas leaned back a little, their mouths separating, but his hands were sliding over Dean's chest. "Are you okay with following orders?"

"Yes."

" _Dean_."

"Yes... _Sir_."

"There you go. Good. Do you trust me not to ask you to do anything you don't want to do?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Dean, if at any point you want to stop, tell me. I don't care what we're doing, just tell me. Ok-"

"Yes, Ca-Sir. Please. I got it. If I say stop, I trust you to stop. Now please, can we just go on? I trust you, Cas. Shit. Sir. I trust you, Sir. And I want you. _Please."_

Cas looks at him for a long moment and Dean thinks that he's about to be rejected for a split-second before Cas lets out a sigh.  
  
"Alright, Dean. Alright. Let's play. Stand up and strip. I'm going to as well. I want to see you." Dean complies immediately, standing up by the table. Cas stands too and pulls off his shirt before looking at Dean expectantly. Dean had lost his flannel sometime earlier, and now he grasps the hem of his shirt and pulls it up over his head, pecs flexing. Cas stares at him with open lust, a wolfish grin on his face. "You're beautiful, baby boy. Pants too, now."

Dean pulls them off, though he moves somewhat hesitantly. He wonders how Cas will take this.

  
  
**~Castiel~**  


Holy shit.  
  
" _Dean,_ " He breathes. Dean looks shy, but proud as if he's daring Cas to say something. Dean's wearing pink panties. They have a little bow in the center of the waistband and they're bulging around his cock, which is twitching as Cas looks at it. His mouth has gone dry and his mind is blank. _Holy shit._

  
  
**~Dean~**

  
  
Suddenly Cas is all over him. There's fingers wrapped around his hips and a mouth assaulting his lips. He's willing to go out on a limb here and say that Cas likes the panties.  
  
"Gorgeous, baby boy. Damn gorgeous." He says into Dean's ear and his knees nearly buckle. Cas grabs his ass and pushes upward. Dean gets the memo and hops, wrapping his legs around Cas's waist and his arms around his shoulders. He's never known another person to be able to carry him without trouble, not even his gargantuan baby brother, but Cas seems almost supernaturally strong because he does it with ease.  
  
"We're going to the bedroom. I'm going to lay you on the bed, and we're going to have fun, baby boy. Do you understand?" Dean grins against the skin of Cas's throat.  
  
"Yes, Sir." Cas groans and begins to carry him through the house. Dean thanks every god he can remember the name of that the bedroom isn't far from the living room. When they get there Cas sets Dean on the bed more gently than he expected and jerks his pants down, somehow making a graceless move look graceful. He's not sure whether he should be surprised or not that Cas is commando, but he likes it. _Fuck_. Dean licks his lips hungrily as he takes in the sight of Cas's gorgeous naked body. Cas is packing. His naked cock is thick and heavy hanging between his legs, strong, tan runner's legs, Dean notices. Cas is completely hairless below the waist and Dean can't help but find it seriously hot. His eyes travel from Cas's calves up to his eyes slowly only to find Cas staring at him.  
  
"Do you like what you see?"

"Very much so. If you don't get over here I'm gonna be over there on you like white on rice." Cas literally growls and nearly leaps across the bed, and suddenly he's right there in Dean's face, eyes glinting dangerously. "Challenge accepted."  
  
And he kisses Dean fiercely. He moans around Cas's plunging tongue because _damn_ this man can kiss. Cas grabs his hips and somehow manages to move Dean until Cas is under him and Dean is straddling his naked thighs. Cas is sitting up against the headboard and Dean's grinding against his erection with his own panty-covered cock, moaning lightly. "Fuck, C-Sir."

Cas lays a grip on Dean's hips that's iron and he stills his motions with a whine.  
  
"Still, Dean. Be still, sweet boy. I told you we're going to play. Let's play, baby boy. You want to play?" Cas murmurs and for some weird reason the words sound sweet. "Yes, Sir," He acquiesces, "Please."

Cas smiles a bright gummy grin and it makes Dean's heart stutter in his chest. Wow, he's breathtaking.  
  
"I love these panties, Dean. I love the way you look in them. All delicate and _shy_ and blushing. Aroused and wanting. Wanting me. Wanting my cock. _Fuck._ Beautiful," Cas murmurs as his hands find their way into Dean's panties to grip his ass. Dean groans as his hips push up against Cas and he gets rewarded with sweet friction on his aching cock.

"Perfect ass, Dean. I can't wait to claim you there. To fill you up with my cock. Would you like that? Hmm? Answer me, Dean. Come on, sweet boy. You can't be that far gone already." Dean blushes furiously at the way Cas talks. He's had more than his fair share of dirty talk but holy shit, those nasty, wonderful words rolling off Cas's tongue in his sex voice is reducing Dean to mush faster than anything ever has. He struggles to answer.  
  
"Y-yes. Yes, that's what I want, Sir. Your cock filling me up. Pounding my ass. I need you, Cas-Sir! Fuck," Dean braces himself for a reprimand but instead gets a sweet kiss. "It's okay, Dean. We'll train you out of that soon enough. Do me a favor, Dean?"

"Yes." Dean says immediately.

"Lean over there to my nightstand, top drawer. There's lube. Grab it, please." Dean jumps on that like Roger Rabbit jumped Jessica and handed the bottle of lube to Cas. As he lubes up the fingers on his right hand he says, "I think I'll leave these panties on you, baby boy. I love the way they look on you. When did you discover you had a panty kink? Or did you do this because you thought I'd like it?"  
  
Dean tries to get his brain online enough to actually remember.

"Rhonda Hurley, she uh, made me try on her pink satin panties, and I kinda liked it. I've - Oh, Cas, yes." Dean said as Cas pulled his panties down over his ass and one of his lubed fingers slid across Dean's pucker, making him try to clench around nothing. Fuck. He knew he was a clear bottom ever since he found out he liked guys too, but he never thought it'd be like this. He never thought he'd be freaking aching with the need to be filled up with cock. _Cas's_ cock, more specifically.  
  
"Focus, Dean. My other question?" Dean rakes his brain trying to remember what the hell Cas asked. Oh, yeah.  
  
"I thought you would like them. You just seemed to be into stuff like that. I don't show them to other people a lot. Not unless they mention it first." Dean has to close his eyes as Cas starts gently rubbing his finger against Dean's hole, making him relax. It feels so much better to have someone else doing it.  
  
"What makes me so special for you to reveal these to me without prompting?" Dean's eyes snap open at Cas's curious tone. He looks down into those limitless blue eyes and it's almost like he sees galaxies in them.  
  
"Cuz you're special, Cas." He murmurs, more feeling behind the words than he intended, but they're still entirely truthful. Cas's eyes widen minutely then without warning his finger slips inside Dean. " _Ngh_. Sir."  
  
Dean tries to rock his hips back against the intruding finger but Cas keeps an iron grip on his left hip and he can't. "Still, sweet boy. Be still." Dean mewls as Cas's digit glides across his prostate, making his hips buck without permission. "Dean, I would like to try something. I swear I will not hurt you. Do you trust me?"

Dean doesn't even need to think about it. "Yes, Sir. Whatever it - fuck! - whatever it is, go for it." He manages to grit out around clamped teeth. He's always been a talker during sex but right now he wants to shut up so Cas will keep talking. The guy's like a goddamn aphrodisiac and Dean's addicted. _God_ , is he addicted. "Do you remember what I told you what I wanted to do to you in that text?" Vague, but Dean knew anyway. And Cas rubbing small circles around his prostate was rather obvious.  
  
"Pro- prostate." He whispers. Cas smiles against Dean's chest. "That's right, baby boy. That's exactly right. You know the best thing about me doing this correctly?"

"What?"

"No refractory period."

Dean groans at the words because he knows what that means.  
  
He knows ejaculation and orgasm are not the same things, and they can be separate, though he's never experienced it. Oh, God. Multiple orgasms. Shit, he's going to spontaneously combust before the night is out. Dean feels another finger pressing at his entrance and he tries to relax his muscles to make the slide easier. Nobody's more surprised than him when it doesn't hurt at all. Well, Cas is apparently the sex master and he did say he wouldn't hurt him.  
  
"Cas - Sir, please. I need - _Mmm_ \- I need more. Please, Sir, please." The lock that had been on Dean's mouth fell away the moment a second finger slid inside his ass.  
  
"Oh, Dean. You beg so pretty for me, baby boy. I love it. Fuck." Dean realizes then that he can be reciprocating right now. Cas may have his hips on lockdown but his hands are free. He reaches down and wraps his hand around Cas's cock and starts stroking. He's leaking precome heavily and Dean's hand glides easily over his length. Cas moans loudly and fucks into Dean's hand for a moment before grabbing Dean's hand and placing at the small of Dean's back.  
  
" _No_." He grits out.  
  
"Sir?" He asks.

"Tonight's about our pleasure, but right now it's _your_ turn. I'll get what I want later. I promise you that." There's a certain dark thrill in the words and the implications are delicious. A shiver skates up his sweat-slick skin as Cas's finger glances over his prostate again.  
  
"Dean, can you keep your hands to yourself for this? Or do I need to tie you up? I'd like to tie you up. Be honest with me, baby boy. What can you handle?" Dean thinks as best he can when he has fingers in his ass and decides on the more exciting option.  
  
"Tie me up, Cas. But I want to sit here. I like this." He smiles and Cas grins back at him.  
  
"Of course, sweet boy. Thank you for being honest with me." Cas pulls his fingers out with a gentle glide and Dean whines. He doesn't realize quite how insistently he whined until Cas is shushing him.  
  
"It's okay, sweet boy. I'm not leaving you for long. I just have to grab something. Grab the wall." Dean obeys and puts his hands against the wall so that when Cas leans over to get something out of a drawer in the nightstand he doesn't fall. Then Cas leans back and he's got a blue tie in hand. Cas presses kisses up Dean's chest then lightly grabs a nipple between his teeth, pulling slightly and making Dean cry out. Cas pulls away with a smile.  
  
"They are sensitive. Fantastic. Alright, hands crossed behind your back, baby boy. Like this." He demonstrates with his own hands and Dean copies the movement behind his back. Cas make quick work of the knots with his tie and after only a few moments Dean's wrists are trapped behind his back. "If this gets too tight, or starts to hurt or tingle, even a little, tell me immediately, okay? Can you do that for me?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Good boy. Are you ready?"

"Never been more ready for anything in my life. Please, Sir. Cas, I need you."

Cas kisses a trail up his chest and onto his throat where he sucks a light mark into his skin there.  
  
"Such sweet words, Dean," He murmurs. Cas doesn't pull away from Dean's throat as he re-lubes his fingers, then they're pressing insistently, though gently, at Dean's clenching hole. They slide in easily and he sighs in contentment. This feels so damn right. Like coming home. He makes a soft noise when Cas's finger starts circling around his prostate, not rubbing it, or grinding against it, but rubbing in small circles over and around it. It's driving Dean crazy. He feels a low heat building and he knows what that means. Fuck. Cas is really going to do this. Cas starts rubbing slightly faster and Dean _keens_ his name at the assault of sensation on his senses.  
  
"Casss!"   
  
Cas groans under him, "Yes, that's it, sweet boy. Call for me. My name sounds divine on your tongue, Dean. You say it like a prayer. Again, baby boy. Say it again."

"Cas. Cas. Yes. Please, Cas. Castiel!" He nearly screams at a very insistent rub right across his gland. "Yes. Yes, baby boy. Yes. Again. Say it again. Such a sweet sound."

Fuck, this is taking forever. He just wants to cum. He's going to die if it doesn't happen soon.  
  
"Please, Cas. Please. I want to cum. Castiel, please. Please, please, please, yes! Yes. There. There, Castiel. Please!" Heat is pooling in his stomach and it feels so goddamn good that Dean doesn't even know what's coming out of his mouth. Castiel's doing amazing things with his fingers that Dean doesn't even know how to begin describing. All he can say is it feels divine.  
  
"Yes. There he is. Cum for me, baby boy. Cum for me, Dean. That's right. That's right," Cas coos and Dean's done. His body is in overdrive and he cums suddenly, but it's not like normal. The pleasure overriding his brain is so intense and he's never experienced anything like this. He doesn't feel that familiar jerking/twitching sensation of ejaculation, but instead, it's more like an _oozing_. God! "Cas!"

"Such a sweet boy for me. Cum for me, Dean. That's right."  
  
The words just spur him on and Cas's fingers won't stop moving and holy shit this is lasting forever and oh, God! He grinds his hips in dirty circles against Cas's hand on instinct and fuck, he can't breathe. The pleasure takes over him in wave after wave of pure bliss and he thinks he's gonna pass out from. When Cas finally lets him down from the high he thinks maybe he might've died. The fingers don't stop, they just slow, pressing more gently now than they did even in the beginning.  
  
"Dean? Are you with me, baby boy? Come on. Open those eyes for me. Ahh, there you are." The first thing Dean sees is Cas's bright smile and he just wants to kiss it so he does. They lock lips slowly and the slide of tongues is sensual and almost stupidly sweet at this point considering Dean has Cas's fingers in his ass. Speaking of which - Shit! Dean pulls away from Cas with a gasp, rocking back on his fingers, shuddering. "C-C-Cassss."

"What is it, sweet boy? What do you need?"

"What're - doin'?"

"Oh, baby boy, you're going to cum for me again." Dean starts to protest but- "Yes, you can, Dean. I promise. Trust me." Dean whines. Of course, he had to hit a sore spot.

"I-I d-do trust you, Cas. I do. But - _Oh!_ This is so - too m-m-much! Oh!" He can literally feel Cas's smile against his chest.  
  
"I know. I know, baby. I know it feels like so much more than you can handle. Too much. But I promise it's not. It'll feel even better the second time, I promise. Just feel it, sweet boy. Just feel it."  
  
Dean throws his head back and cries out when Cas starts rubbing his insides with renewed fervor and holy shit he's so damned sensitive! He's twitching uncontrollably and shaking in Cas's lap. And something's wrong. What? Oh.  
  
"C-Cas. H-hands. Hands, ple-please." He pleads and Cas immediately takes his left hand, the one that isn't occupied in Dean's ass, and pulls an end and the whole thing unravels. Dean figured out what was wrong. He couldn't hold onto Cas and he needed it. He needed the warmth, the steadiness of Cas's body. Dean only belatedly realizes he spoke those words out loud.  
  
"Oh, sweet boy. Precious, precious Dean. Hold onto me. It's alright. I've got you."  
  
Dean wraps his arms around Cas's neck and buries his face into Cas's shoulder, trying to control everything surging through him. Cas attacks his prostate with his fingers and Dean feels the heat rising again. His hole feels so stretched and achy in the best of ways stretched around Cas's fingers. Fuck. This one might hurt. His damn abs are- "Come on, baby boy. Cum for me again. You can do this. Do this for me. Hold on, sweet boy."  
  
Cas does something downright _angelic_ with his fingers and then Dean's coming again. This time the precipice is so much higher and he crashes headfirst into a giant wave of pleasure that completely consumes him for a long time. When he comes to he's wrapped around Cas and Dean's head is resting on Cas's shoulder. His thighs hurt from sitting spread out the way he has been for the last only-God-knows-how-long but it's really only a dull _ache_. Like he knows it's there, but it doesn't really matter. Cas is talking to him. And rubbing his hand over Dean's bare back soothingly.  
  
"Such a good job, Dean. You're amazing. So very good for me. So perfect, Dean." With those words floating through his mind Dean thinks he might just be falling a little bit in love with Cas. The thought doesn't scare him. Hell, if this is what Cas is really like he'd rather paint Baby bright pink and cover her in fairy herpes than give this up. Cas is amazing. "Cas?"

"Ah. There you are. Are you okay, Dean?"

"Yeah. Just... Holy shit."

"I agree. That was amazing... Are you still wanting more, Dean? It's okay if you're not, I will most definitely not hold it against you. You've been amazing tonight, more so than I ever could've hoped."

Dean doesn't even have to think. If he leaves tomorrow without having fucked Cas he'll never forgive himself. Dean pulls away from Cas and sits back on his thighs, the panties bunched up in weird ways under his legs.  
  
"Cas. If you do not fuck me now I will quite literally tie you down to this damn bed and do it myself." Cas's eyes narrow for a moment, then he smiles. It's dark and predatory and holy shit, Dean realizes he has a raging boner trying to escape his panties and how is that even possible? Shit, Cas is going to kill him.  
  
"I was hoping you'd say that. Lay down on your back, Dean. We're going to play some more, baby boy. You sure you're up for it?"

"I'm up for anything you give out." Dean quips with a smirk and a secret little thrill whirls through him at the way Cas's eyes darken with the challenge.  
  
"You may well regret that you said that, naughty boy. _Now lay down._ " It's definitely an order this time and Dean finds himself obeying without a second thought. He lays down with his head up on the pillow and watches Cas as he gets up on his knees and kneels between Dean's legs with a bottle of lube in hand. Fuck, what did he just get himself into?

  
  
**~Castiel~**

  
  
Dean looks so blissfully beautiful like this. It's like Dean's soul shines through his very being and Cas is seeing it. He loves it.  
  
"Dean. My sweet, sassy boy. I'm going to make you mine." Cas runs his hand down Dean's chest slowly heading towards Dean's cock where it's trapped in the wonderful pink panties that fit Dean _oh so_ perfectly. He traces a finger over his length encased in the cloth lightly and Dean gasps. Cas can see how Dean tries to curb his natural instinct to thrust up into the touch. Good. He's learning, and most likely not even aware that he's doing that. Castiel takes his time ridding Dean of his panties, sliding them torturously slow down over Dean's cock, then down his thighs, and finally, he throws them towards the bottom of the bed. His eyes take in Dean's beautiful form and Cas wonders what he did to get blessed with someone such as Dean. He must've done something. He pops the cap on the lube bottle and pours it directly onto Dean's perineum where it leaks down slowly over his hole. Judging by how Dean twitches, he's sensitive enough to actually feel that. _Wonderful._  
  
"Now, baby boy, you have a choice to make. You're already loose-" He proves this by rubbing his finger around Dean's hole and slipping it inside, using the teasing ruse to spread lube inside of Dean. "It will be safe for me to enter you now. I won't hurt you. Would you like me to prep you further, or would like to try it with the level of preparation you have now?"

Dean's silent while he thinks about it. The way his eyes dart obviously down to Cas's erection makes him chuckle. He knows he's big, but he should be fine to fuck Dean as is. It shouldn't harm him in any way. But he understands that he probably looks a little intimidating, and he won't mind a bit to prep Dean further. In fact, he'd enjoy it greatly.  
  
"I want you to take me, Cas. I want to feel this when I sit down in my car tomorrow morning, and I want to think of you. Please, just fuck me already. Sir." Holy mother of heaven on high this man is perfect for him.

  
  
**~Dean~**

  
  
The words just slip out. That's what he was thinking, but he hadn't exactly planned to say them _like that_. But it seems to have the desired effect on Cas, his eyes darkening and his stance changing, going from what Dean's calling Caring Cas to Dom Cas. Not that Cas isn't caring when he's in Dom mode, but there's something different about him that Dean loves. Cas crawls over top of him until they're nose to nose. "I love that you said that."  
  
They kiss and Dean once again feels that sensation of coming home, where everything just feels right, and then he hears the squelch of lube and knows Cas is lubing his cock up, and that he's literally about to be inside Dean. For the first time, someone is going to be inside Dean in the most intimate way they can be. He couldn't have chosen a more perfect person than Cas for it. "Are you ready, baby boy?"

"Hell yes, Sir. Fuck me. Fuck me hard and quick and dirty and mmph!" Dean glares up at Cas because he covered his mouth with his hand. Cas _tsks_ at him.  
  
"Such a dirty mouth. I love it but now is not the time. I want you to be still. I want you to feel every single inch of me as I slide into you, and when I bottom out, I want you to shudder around me from feeling so full of my cock. Be still, naughty boy, and let me take care of you. You need to be still,"  
  
Cas leans down and bites Dean's ear harshly, making him cry out into Cas's hand that muffles the sound. Cas whispers roughly, "Because I'm going to fuck you into next week, baby boy."  
  
The words have Dean shuddering in anticipation and he spreads his legs in a clear invitation. "This is gonna be so good, Dean."  
  
Dean's cock aches with each passing second and he's desperate for Cas to fuck him. He grabs Cas's wrist and pulls it off his mouth, earning him an amused look.  
  
"Please fuck me, Sir. You said that you'd like me begging for your cock, begging for an orgasm I have to earn. Have I earned it, Sir? Will you please fuck me?" Cas closes his eyes and groans.  
  
"Fuck. You've earned it, baby boy. Been so good for me." There are fingers spreading lube across his entrance, and then he feels the blunt tip of Cas's cock pressing against him. Cas leans back until he's up on his knees, and he takes Dean's legs and puts the damn things over his shoulders, and _holy shit_ this just got real. He's about to be fucked. Cas seems to notice his brief moment of panic.  
  
"It's okay, baby boy. Remember, Dean, if you don't want to do anything more, all you have to do is say the word, and I will stop immediately. It doesn't matter if I'm milliseconds away from an orgasm if you say stop, it all stops. I will not force you into this."

"Sorry. I'm not... I don't want to stop. I just got freaked out for a second. Feel a little vulnerable, I guess." Castiel smiles understandably at him.  
  
"Perhaps a new position then, if you're uncomfortable with this one? I believe I have an excellent suggestion or two." Then Cas frikken winks at him and goes and makes Dean laugh. Wow. He didn't figure this would be how his first time turned out, but it's actually really great. "No. I just want you inside me. I can handle this. I promise."

"You're sure you want it like this?"

"Yes, Sir. Please fuck me."

"Your wish is my command, baby boy." Then Dean feels the head of Cas's condom-covered cock, _when did that happen,_ rubbing across his pucker. Dean presses his hips into it as much as he can, but Cas's grip on his hips once again stops him.  
  
"Be still. Feel this." Then there's a lot of pressure. It's moving back and forth, coaxing his muscles to loosen and let Cas in. Dean relaxes his muscles as best he can and suddenly Cas is pushing inside. Oh, fuck! Dean groans loudly and Cas joins him when he does.  
  
"Fuck, baby boy, you're so hot and tight. So perfect for me, Dean. I was going to go slow and easy, but you're so perfect. So hot and _wet,_ I don't think I can handle being slow right now. I want to fuck you, Dean. Fast and rough. Can you handle that sweet boy? Be honest. If you lie to me about this _so help me God,_ I will bend you over my knee and spank you until you _can't_ sit down." _Fucking hell,_ Cas is hot like that. Dean wouldn't even dream of lying right now.  
  
"I can handle it, Sir. Fuck me. Fuck me hard and fast - _OH God!_ " Cas slams his cock all the way inside Dean, all the way to the hilt and Dean's never felt so full. Pleasure rolls through him in a soft wave. Cas is above him, looking down at him with a pure unadulterated blissed out expression until his eyes slip shut. But he's just sitting there. "Please, Cas. Please, move."

Cas's eyes snap open and suddenly those blazing baby blues are focused on him with a righteous passion Dean cannot even begin to understand. Cas pulls out slowly, so goddammed slowly Dean swears he might die of old age before Cas is finished toying with him, then he slams back home again, making Dean see starbursts in his vision.  
  
"What do you call me, Dean?" His voice is rough and grating and Dean can tell Cas is about two seconds from losing it. So, just to be a little shit, he makes his voice _drip_ with lust and whispers, "Sir."  
  
Cas pulls out and rams back in so hard that Dean yelps. This time Cas doesn't stop, he starts pistoning into Dean with wild abandon, clearly on edge after so long. Dean can already feel an orgasm pooling again and _fuck_ what's gonna happen if he cums again? Cas is so thick and big and fuck, this feels so damn good. "That's it. _That's it._ I see you, Dean. I want you to cum for me again. You're going to do it, baby boy. Come on. Cum on my cock. Just that. No!" Cas bats Dean's hand away from his dick where Dean had been trying to stroke himself. "Only my cock. Cum just from me fucking you. I know you can, sweet boy. You can cum for me again."

Cas leans forward until Dean is nearly bent in half, and _fuck_ if he doesn't love the stretch and how damned _full_ he is at this angle with Cas's body pressed flush up against his ass. Cas's hips slow but don't stop, and now they're purposefully pressing against that spot inside him, the spot that Cas apparently has fucking memorized since he can find it with his dick. He rocks his cock back and forth across it, driving Dean higher and higher until he's whimpering with need. Cas is staring down at him the entire time.  
  
"You're going to cum again. I should be punishing you for your snark earlier, but you get to cum again, naughty boy. And when you're done with this orgasm? I'm going to make you cum one more time on my cock. Do you understand, Dean?" Dean does, but he doesn't want to. He whines as he feels that irresistible heat pool and rise, he's going to cum again for Chrissakes, and he might just die this time. "Answer me, boy!"

"Fuck, yes! Yes, I understand, Sir." He cries. Cas rolls his hips in just that way and suddenly there's a thumb pressing against his taint, matching his dick thrust for thrust and it sends Dean straight over the blinding edge of oblivion.  
  
" _Sweet FUCK!_ Cas!" Dean screams as he goes over again, and then Cas starts fucking him in earnest again. Oh, hell. Oh no! He can't stop cumming. Cas is fucking into him with a savage, primordial wildness that is setting Dean's very bones on fire, pounding his ass just like Dean wanted him to but now he has no control. He can't stop this. He's spasming around Cas rhythmically and it's only several moments later that there's a work-roughened hand grasping at his aching, leaking, slick cock. He shrieks as Cas strokes him fiercely, and Dean flies off the cliff this time and cums all over his chest, shooting white streaks everywhere, completely swamped by his fourth goddamn orgasm of the night. He's bucking his hips wildly as he cums to match Cas's thrusts, nearly throwing Cas off but that just makes him fuck harder into Dean's ass.

"Yes! Just like that! Good, baby boy, good! So perfect taking my cock like that!" Cas groans loudly and his hips stutter and he stills in Dean's ass as he cums.  
  
He saws in and out of Dean's hole almost lazily through his orgasm, and as he comes down from his orgasmic high. Dean's whimpering with every thrust. He's so sensitive. He makes a particularly loud noise apparently because Cas starts shushing him again.  
  
"It's okay, baby boy. It's okay. I'm here." His legs are gone from Cas's shoulders, and they're on the bed. Then Cas is carefully pulling out of him, making Dean whine again. There are some sounds that Dean can't quite connect to having any bearing on reality coming from the bottom of the bed, then Cas's warmth is gone. A pitiful sound falls from Dean's lips and he searches the bed with one arm, trying to find Cas.  
  
"It's alright, baby boy." He's back within moments, and something warm is wiping across Dean's chest, then around his ass and down his thighs.

"Sweet boy. So perfect for me. So amazing. Thank you for giving me that. I know you're sensitive here. It's okay. It's okay. I've got you." Soft mewls spill over his tongue and he can't help it. Cas is suddenly back again and his arms wrap around Dean, maneuvering Dean onto his side, facing Cas, he thinks. Dean really doesn't have the energy to even open his eyes, so he's just guessing. Warm breath washing over his face tells him he's right. "Oh, sweet boy. You're so perfect for me. That was so wonderful. You did so well, Dean. Do you hear me?"

Dean makes a soft sound in the back of his throat as a sign of acknowledgment. Cas seems to take that as an acceptable answer, thank God. If Dean had to speak words right now he might very well keel over. He's exhausted, and his brain is a bugged out black mess of only partially recognizable images and sounds.  
  
"Good. Good boy. Precious Dean. So amazing for me. Do you think you can drink some water for me, baby boy?" It's a negative sound this time. Dean's about to pass out. His chest feels warm and fuzzy when Cas chuckles.  
  
"Alright then. We'll sleep for now. I'll hold you if that's okay." Dean just reaches out until he touches skin and pulls. Cas laughs and scoots obligingly over until Dean is all wrapped up in him. There's arms and legs and skin and warmth everywhere and Dean's probably never been this content.  
  
"I'm taking that as a yes." Cas laughs, "Sleep, Dean. You're safe with me. I'll watch over you. So amazing, Dean. You were so good for me." Dean drifts off somewhere in the midst of Cas whispering praise to him and that's gotta be the best feeling in the world.  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How'd I do? ;)
> 
> Thoughts?


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FINALLY UPDATED! Sorry for the wait. My life is chaos, and I haven't had internet in 27 days. I've been counting. :(
> 
>  
> 
> When I wrote the one-shot (or the first chapter, if you will) I did not envision Dean the way I do now. He has magically turned into TWINK DEAN while writing this. Thought I'd clue you in, lol. Help with the picturing and all that. Then again, the way I wrote the sex in the last chapter shoulda told me that this story wanted a twink Dean, not a mature Dean. *shrug.

  
**~Castiel~**

  
Dean is precious when he's sleeping. He's tucked into Castiel's chest and Castiel has his arms wrapped around him. Castiel cannot honestly recall a time when he's been more content. Dean has been so good for him, so perfect. Castiel can hardly believe how Dean had let himself be dominated like that. They had talked everything out beforehand, of course, but for a first time, this has been absolutely amazing. Dean had exceeded every expectation he'd had and surpassed every fantasy his mind had entertained. Dean makes a small noise in his sleep and moves slightly, nestling further into Castiel's chest. Castiel wraps his arms around him just a little bit tighter and Dean makes a happy noise. It's been about thirty minutes since they finished. Perhaps Castiel should wake him up so that Dean can get some nutrients into him. But then, Dean needs some rest too. He'll wait until Dean wakes up on his own.

 

**~Dean~**

 

Dean wakes up and his body feels weirdly floaty and his mind is fuzzy. His tongue is thick but he still manages a muffled, "Cas?" There's movement in front of him then he feels Cas stroking his hair and his cheek. "There you are. How are you feeling, Dean?"  
  
"Good. Real good, Cas. Or... Sir?"  
  
"No, Dean. Cas is fine. We'll talk about parameters later. Dean, can you sit up for me?"  
  
Dean nods and slowly pushes himself up, keeping his eyes closed because he doesn't feel like opening them. Dean ends up sitting between Cas's legs, leaning back against his chest. "There we go. Good. Now I need you to drink this, okay?"  
  
He feels a glass push against his lips which he grabs with a huff because he's not a baby. It's orange juice, and it's surprisingly good. He drains the glass and hands it back to Cas who murmurs, "Good boy," in his ear. The words send goosebumps down Dean's spine. Then Cas is urging him to eat a granola bar, which he does. It's one of the awesome ones that are stuffed with chocolate chips and he likes it a lot. "'Kay, Cas. 'Kay. Can we sleep now? I wanna sleep."  
  
"Of course we can, kitten. Come on, lay down with me." Dean shuffles down the bed and cuddles into Cas's chest. He feels so warm and safe and that's so new. He loves it. "Night, Cas. Love you." He's asleep before he has a chance to realize what he said.  
  
  
**~**

  
Dean wakes up slowly, relishing the way his body feels. He's warm and content, and he feels at peace, which is kind of a first for him. Somehow during the night, he got turned around to where he's facing away from Cas. His arms are wrapped around Dean's shoulders, and he's tucked in close. This feels so right, he can't even describe it. It really shouldn't feel this right. He's known Cas, what? Three days? Technically four? It's nowhere near enough but it feels like it's been years. A murmur of his name against his shoulder blade brings him back to the present. "Dean."  
  
God, Cas's voice is deep in the morning. "Mornin', Cas," It comes out as a harsh whisper. Cas lays light kisses across his back. "Good morning, baby boy. How're you feeling?"  
  
"Mmm. Good. Could feel better though." Cas chuckles behind him. "Oh, yes? Please elaborate."  
  
"I think you know." Dean pushes his ass back against Cas's groin obviously, eliciting a soft groan from him. "You want me this morning too?"  
  
"Yeah. Yeah, please."  
  
"Needy bottom." Cas tuts at him, "I love it. Tell me what you want, Dean."  
  
What he should say is something dirty. Something like how he wants Cas's cock filling him up and fucking him raw, but he doesn't really want that right now. The words get stalled on his tongue. No. He can do this. He can ask Cas for this. He can trust him. He wants something soft and slow and sweet. He wants... "I want you to make love to me, Cas."  
  
His words are quiet and Cas stills for a moment. Long enough for Dean to think he might've fucked up but then Cas is kissing along his shoulder again.  
  
"Of course, Dean. That sounds like a great idea, baby boy." He purrs the words and Dean practically melts. Cas preps him so slowly that Dean's nerves are singing and his body is so relaxed he feels like a pile of goo by the time Cas finally slips inside. The pace is a turtle's. It's slow and soft, and absolutely perfect in the warm, golden morning light. Dean's being taken apart so slowly and so meticulously that Dean's practically gone. He's no longer a singular entity.  
  
He's Dean and Cas. Together. And nothing could have felt more right. They are joined. When he finally cums it is so much more than he could ever have imagined it would be. It was amazing. And then Cas puts him back together again with slow kisses and murmured praise and so much affection that Dean thinks he could probably drown in it. It's what it felt like. It felt so nice to be loved. And that's really what it was. Maybe Cas didn't feel that way, maybe Dean was seeing things where there weren't any, but for right now, it didn't matter. He felt loved, and he felt safe, and he felt cherished. Once again the thought occurred to Dean that he should never give this man up. They shared a profound bond, and even after such a short time, Dean was damn near positive he could probably love Castiel James. And that was enough for now.

  
  
**~Later~**

  
  
After they showered, they're eating breakfast at the bar (eggs and bacon with toast and fruit) when Dean breaks the relative silence of the day. It's been freaking awkward all morning. At least for him. Fuck, he's so stupid. So he says with a kind of brush-off manner, "Thank you, Cas." Castiel arches an eyebrow at him. "I get the feeling you're not talking about breakfast."  
  
"No. I mean, yeah, that too, but no. For last night. It was awesome. And this morning too. Thank you." Cas's eyes got all squinty and he's staring at Dean, the foot and half of space between them suddenly didn't seem like enough. "Why are you thanking me?"  
  
"B-because it was awesome, and I, uh, enjoyed myself. I guess? I don't know. Why are you giving me the death glare?"  
  
"I wasn't aware I had a death glare, Dean."  
  
"Yeah, right," Dean mumbles as he looks away. Firm fingers on his chin drag his face back to Cas's who's looking at him with something like anger. His voice is dangerously soft. "What was that?"  
  
"Uh, I-I" Dean stammered. "Don't lie to me, boy."  
  
"I said 'yeah, right.'" Cas releases chin but keeps staring at him.  
  
"Why are you being a brat this morning?"  
  
"I don't know. I wasn't trying to be."  
  
"You could've fooled me. Do you always run from intimacy? Or is it because you initiated it?" Dean gulps. Fuck. Cas apparently knows him pretty well. Well crap. In defeat, Dean lays his head down on his arms, which he brought up to rest on the counter. He sighs deeply. "Yeah. That's just me, Cas." He admits into the dark cave of his arms and the counter.  
  
"You don't like being vulnerable and asking for things you want." It's not a question so Dean doesn't bother to answer with anything but a soft 'yeah'.  
  
"You know, Dean, it's perfectly okay to be vulnerable. Especially with someone who is as equally willing to be vulnerable. I like you a lot. Perhaps something more than like, but it can go unnamed for now. Let's say I'm enamored with you, Dean. And I find that to be an endless source of joy and frustration. I like being with you, sexual capacity or not. Yesterday was enjoyable all the way around, not just last night. I like "hanging out" with you, Dean. But if you do not wish to continue, I will not force you. That is not something I would ask of you. Please, don't be ashamed to ask me for things you want."  
  
Cas leans over and Dean can feel his warm breath on his neck. "Do you think I did not enjoy this morning? That I was not extremely pleased you asked that of me?"  
  
"That's the point though, Cas. You didn't ask. I did."  
  
"And? Does that somehow make the act any more or less significant?"  
  
"No! It's just... I don't know how to explain it."  
  
"I will wait for you to try."  
  
Dean rolls his eyes slightly at the words but he's got a smile tugging at his lips now. This cute little dork angel could be his. Maybe.  
  
"Cas?"  
  
"Yes, Dean?"  
  
"Can we... um... Can we date? Like, be together? I'm not sure if you want that, but I do, if you don't just tell me now, and I'll go." Dean is satisfied with that. His voice didn't waver, and he doesn't sound like a complete moron. He's shocked when he receives a light slap to the back of his head and he looks up from his arms in amusement. Cas is staring at him with an exasperated expression. "Is that what this has been about? You could've just said something. Yes, Dean, of course, we can. You really ought to know by now that I want you. Not just sexually. If you haven't caught on to it yet, I doubt you ever will."  
  
"Now who's being sassy?" Cas grins and he looks something like a manic cat, Dean decides. Cas leans forward until his lips are almost touching Dean's ear and grates, "Don't ask stupid questions."  
  
Dean's face twitches and he starts smiling despite himself. "Duly noted, Sir."  
  
He can literally feel Cas's intake of breath. "Don't play with me right now, Dean. I have a feeling my stamina would outlast even yours, and I'm not so sure you would like the result. We need to talk." Cas leans back and Dean manages to exhale a breath he hadn't known he was holding in. "Well, let's talk then, Regis."  
  
"Why do you call me that?"  
  
"Haven't you ever watched Regis and Kelly? You know, the talk show?"  
  
"I don't hold much for daytime television. I have heard of it, and now I understand, but no, I've never watched it."  
  
"So uh... What exactly are we talking about?"  
  
"Parameters, among other things."  
  
"Parameters?"  
  
"Yes. In my other relationships, I had many rules and boundaries. Ninety percent of which do not apply to you."  
  
"Okay, I'll bite. Why?"  
  
"You and I are or are going to be, boyfriends. We're dating. My other relationships were more like working relationships. I cared for each of my subs, and they for me, but those feelings do not extend pass affection and general like and respect. We each got what we needed out of our time together. You're different. Our circumstances are different."  
  
"Well, yeah. I mean, coffee shop... Zipper issues. Not exactly what I call a business meeting."  
  
Cas chuckles. "Definitely not."  
  
"So what're the rules for this thing. I'm assuming your bossy self is going to have some." Cas eyes him with a squinted look, almost like he's studying Dean. It makes him squirm slightly. "You're sassy in the morning. I find it entertaining. But you are correct. There are some. But not for our," Cas gestures between them, "Relationship. Just for when we're playing. Fair?"  
  
"Sounds like it, Judge Judy." Cas tilts his head and stares at Dean with a gaze that seems to go right through him. "You make a lot of television references. Not even good television, I might add."  
  
"Hey, you can't be dissing Judge Judy. That lady'd chew you up and spit you back out." Cas smiles. "You might be right about that. She is rather intimidating." Dean nods with a grin on his face. "So rules for playtime? You realize that makes us sound like toddlers, right?" Cas smirks. "I think that since I'm the one making and enforcing the rules that means you're the toddler in this equation."  
  
"Fuck," Dean mumbles. That backfired. Then he grins and looks up at Cas. "I guess that makes "baby boy" more accurate, though, huh?"  
  
Cas luckily saw the humor in it and smiles as he fires back, "Are you judging me, Mr. Dean-panty-wearing-Winchester?" Dean gulps. "Alright, fair point. No judging." He holds up his hands in mock surrender. "Can I ask a question?"  
  
"Of course," Cas says.  
  
"Are we going to be..." He gestures with his hands, "Differentiating playing and our relationship. Like... Will there be different dynamics?"  
  
"That's a good question, Dean. And yes there will be. That would be best, I think."  
  
"Then we need a word."  
  
"A word?"  
  
"Like... something to say when one of is wanting to change the dynamic. It's easier than asking a shit ton of questions, you know? Just, uh, say the word, and if the other person is in the same headspace there, just repeat the word. Then we'd know. No awkward questions about 'Hey, you wanna do this?' or 'I think I'm ready for this.' Is that okay?"  
  
"It's a good idea, Dean. I'm proud of you for thinking this out."  
  
Dean gives a small smile but looks away. He knows Cas probably noticed, but that's alright. Compliments make him itchy sometimes. "Do you have any idea for the word?"  
  
Dean thinks for a moment, not looking up from the floor. It should be something memorable. Hmm... "What about circus?" He looks up at Cas. "I suppose it works as good as any other. Why did you pick that one?  
  
"I dunno. It's just, you know, circus. They're fun, they're carefree. You know. It just kind of made sense, I guess. We don't have to use that one. Could be 'pineapple' for all I care." Cas squints at him and tilts his head, thinking. After a minute he says, "Kevin Hart?" Dean clasps his chest overdramatically and says, "Oh my god! You got a reference! Lookit you, you're coming up in the world, old man." Dean meant it as a joke but Cas just hums and leans back in his chair. "That is a good point, you know. I am much older than you."  
  
"Twelve years isn't that much, Cas."  
  
"If you were underage it would be." He pointed out. Dean rolls his eyes and huffs, "Yeah, but I'm not. Four years outta that. Is this going to bother you?"  
  
"No. Quite the opposite. Though it could pose problems in the future."  
  
Dean was starting to get nervous. "What do you mean?"  
  
"With your family. With society in general. I really don't care about society's view of things, though perhaps you might. But I do care about what your family will think. They are important to you."  
  
Dean sighed. Early in the morning for heavy conversations, really. "Cas, I don't really have that many people you need to worry about. Sam already knows I'm out, and as long as I'm happy he won't care. My friends... They're good people. I wouldn't consider them family if they weren't. They're not gonna care. Besides, it's not like you're wrinkled and bald yet, E.T. It is way too early to be talking about shit like this. Topic change?"  
  
"Dean, it's almost ten in the morning."  
  
"I'm gonna take that as a yes. Am I going home today?"  
  
"Again, are you asking for permission?"  
  
"Fuck. No. I'm not. I'm just asking if you want me here today or not."  
  
"Do you want to be here?"  
  
Dean gets up and sidles sideways a couple of feet before hopping up into Cas's lap, straddling his thighs and wrapping his hands around his shoulders. "I wanna be here today. 'S'long as it's okay with you." Cas sighs and leans into Dean, and Dean feels hand slides around his waist then grasp his asscheeks, squeezing lightly. Dean gasps lightly, enjoying the feel of Cas's hands on him. "I would like that, Dean. It's very okay with me." Dean grins. "Good."  
  



	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not exactly a sub-drop.... but it's kinda a sub-drop. Cas fixes it though, no worries! These two are so cute. *sigh
> 
>    
> P.S. This is my last update for this for now. I have NO idea when I'll be able to update again, but I promise I will. I hope you guys enjoyed it, and I may have said this before, but you should prob subscribe if you wanna keep up with when I post since it's so sporadic. (I'm sorry, please don't hate me, I bring you fluff and feelings and twink Dean. What more could you ask?) ;)

  
  
**~Castiel~**  
**~Later~**  
  
  
  
Castiel doesn't think that Dean remembers telling Castiel that he loves him last night. That's alright. He's nearly positive that is was just endorphins and the safe environment Dean was in. But regardless, the words warmed Castiel, true or not. He has the feeling that those words aren't something Dean say a lot, if ever. He's pleased that he got to hear them. He's also pleased that Dean decided to stay today. They still need to talk about some things. They covered cleanliness yesterday, among other things. They were both clean as of their most recent STD tests, and neither of them had been with anyone else since. Castiel trusts Dean was telling the truth about that. Castiel likes Dean immensely. As of right now, Dean is napping on the couch with a Die Hard movie playing in the background. He'd gotten sleepy after enticing Castiel into another round of vigorous sex on his kitchen counter. Which, while that had been amazing, Dean needs to take a break. He is already going to be very sore. But Dean's insatiable. He's going to have to lay down a few rules if that continues. He can't have Dean being injured on his (well... their) account. Castiel wants to get Dean a collar but he needs to discuss it with Dean first.  
  
They need to talk about kinks and limits and safewords, and for the love of all that's holy, Castiel's never looked forward to a conversation more. He can't wait to do an actual scene with Dean. One where he can punish Dean for calling him anything but Sir, and test the limits of his endurance. And the aftercare afterward. It's something he's really looking forward to. A sated Dean is a cuddly, affectionate Dean and it's incredibly cute and endearing. Dean's starting to stir. He's sure Dean would call him creepy for sitting here watching him sleep, but he was mostly thinking. He doubts that will make a difference, Castiel thinks with a smirk.  
  
"Cas?" Dean calls, rising up on his arms and looking around with the dazed slowness of someone still half-asleep.  
  
"Here, Dean." A sleepy smile greets him.  
  
"Hi. Have I been out long?" Dean sits up and rubs his eyes then yawns and stretches. Damn, his boy is gorgeous. His shirt rode up on his stomach when he stretched and Castiel caught a flash of tanned skin.  
  
"A couple of hours. Did you sleep well?" Dean stands and makes his way over to Castiel then without much warning hops up onto Castiel's legs and wraps himself around Castiel, burrowing his face into the space between his neck and shoulder. Castiel wraps his arms around Dean and murmurs, "You seem to have an affinity for my lap."  
  
Dean stiffens."Is that bad?"  
  
Castiel rubs his hand up Dean's back with soothing strokes, "No, of course not. I find it rather endearing. But... are you okay?"  
  
Dean relaxes back against him, "I'm not sure."  
  
Castiel runs his hand through Dean's hair, trying to comfort him, "What do you mean?"  
  
"This just doesn't feel real, you know? I mean, we met a few days ago and now we're... boyfriends and... you know. It's just... Good things don't really happen to me, you know? And you're like perfect. This is perfect. I just... I don't know. I'm kinda expecting the other shoe to drop and for me to wake up alone and-" Castiel shushes him. "It's alright. I'm real. This is real, I promise..." And after a moment, "We're real." Dean breathes a shaky sigh onto Castiel's neck.  
  
"This isn't going to disappear when you go home. I'll be here for you, Dean. I'm not going anywhere."  
  
There are several moments of silence. Then, "Thanks, Cas. I'm not going anywhere either. Just so you know."  
  
"I'm glad to hear it. I don't want you to go anywhere."  
  
"Good. Cuz I'm too comfy." Castiel chuckled at Dean's words. "You're cute, you know that?" Dean nuzzles his face into his neck. "Yeah. I'm adorable." Castiel chuckles and lays his head against Dean's soft hair. He enjoys this closeness. It's not something he's had outside of aftercare for his subs in a very long time. Too long.

  
  
**~Later~**

  
  
Dean sighs as he falls into bed. He misses Cas already. He was missing him before he left the house. It still doesn't seem real. He's afraid that whatever's tethering them together is just going to disappear and he's going to be alone again. Mom left, Sam left, Dad left. He always ends up alone. He needs to talk to Cas.  
  
  
**9:58 PM: >Dean:** _Hey cas_  
  
**10:01 PM: <Cas:** _Hello, Dean. Is everything alright?_  
  
**10:02 PM: >Dean:** _I um... Im not sure. I just... I don't know. I shouldn't have texted you. I'm sorry Im bothering you._  
  
**10:02 PM: <Cas:** _You're not bothering me, Dean. I'm very happy to hear from you. I miss you._  
  
**10:04 PM: >Dean:** _really? I mean... I miss you too, its just... I dont know._  
  
**10:04 PM: <Cas: ** _Of course I miss you. How are you feeling, Dean?_  
  
**10:06 PM: >Dean:** _ok... And_ _Im alright I guess. Benn better actually but its alright._  
  
**10:06 PM: <Cas:** _I'm going to call you, okay?_  
  
**10:07 PM: >Dean:** _yeah I guess_

His phone rings and Dean answers it tiredly. He doesn't really feel like talking but he wants to hear Cas's voice. _"Dean?"_

"Hey, Cas."  
  
_"It's good to hear your voice. I've missed you already."_  
  
"I missed you too." Dean doesn't know what to say. He feels weird and doesn't really feel like talking. But he wants to talk to Cas. He does, but it's like he just doesn't have the energy to move his mouth and make his brain work. His stupid head is just circling around and around the same old thoughts and - _"Dean? Can you hear me? Talk to me, Dean. Please."_  
  
_Oh._  
  
"M'here, Cas. Sorry. I just... zoned out, I guess."  
  
_"It's alright. Will you tell me what you did after you left my house?"_  
  
"I uh... I mean, I drove home obviously. I watched some tv, read a little bit. That's about it, really. Checked my email and stuff like that. Nothing to write home about."  
  
_"You haven't eaten since you left my house?"_  
  
"Uh... No, I don't guess so. Why you asking, Cas?"  
  
_"I'm worried about you."_  
  
"It's alright, Cas. I'm fine."  
  
_"It's okay to not be fine, Dean. I understand. Hey, I don't think I've asked you yet, what's your favorite color?"_  
  
"It's blue. What's yours?"  
  
There's a smile in Cas's voice, _"Green. Verdant green."_  
  
Dean feels stupid. Of course, Cas would say something like that. What the hell does verdant mean? Cas is so much frikken smarter than him. He deserves better than Dean. Dean's dumb. A high school drop-out with daddy issues and a crappy house. He should've just stayed home that day, then he wouldn't be doing this. If he hadn't met Cas he wouldn't have messed things up. He's not smart. He should've just- " _Dean!_ "  
  
"I'm sorry, Cas. I'm being stupid. I just don't even know-"  
  
_"You're not being stupid, Dean. I promise you, you're not. I understand. Will you do me a favor?"  
_  
"What?" Dean asks with a weary sigh.  
  
_"Will you go to your door?"_  
  
"My door? Uh... Why?"  
  
_"Please?"_  
  
"Alright." Dean gets up from bed wearily and makes his way through his dark living room. The streetlights illuminate outside, and he can see someone is standing on his steps. What the hell? "Uh, Cas?" He asks into the phone. _"It's just me, Dean. May I come in please?"_  
  
_Oh_. Cas is here. Why is Cas here? Is something wrong? What if- Stop it! He mentally shouts at himself. Nut up and answer the damn door. He pulls the door open and smiles wearily at Cas.  
  
"What's up?" Cas ignores his question. "May I come in?"  
  
Dean steps back. "Yeah, yeah, sure."

 

**~Castiel~**

 

Dean's dropping. He's sure of it. Castiel is already on his way out the door when the next text comes in which only cements his fear.  
  
**10:06 PM: <Dean:** _ok... And Im alright I guess. Benn better actually but its alright._  
  
  
He needs to talk to Dean. Needs to make sure he's alright.  
  
  
**10:06 PM: >Castiel:** _I'm going to call you, okay?_  
  
  
Thankfully he doesn't have to wait for long for an answer.  
  
  
**10:07 PM: <Dean:** _yeah, I guess_  
  
He immediately clicks the green button by Dean's name to call him as he pulls out of the driveway. He sets his phone on the dock in the dash and puts it on speaker so he can talk and drive at the same time. Dean and he had talked about a lot of things in the last couple of days. Luckily one of those things had been where Dean lived. Castiel might speed a little, but he's worried. He should get there quickly.  
  
He hears the phone connect and a weary breath fills the relative silence of his car from his phone's speakers. "Dean?" He asks. He needs to hear his voice so he can judge his state.  
  
_"Hey, Cas."_ Yep. Dean's voice is tired and a little sad and there's a small ache in Castiel's chest because of it.  
  
"It's good to hear your voice. I've missed you already." Castiel says truthfully. He has missed him even though he only left a couple of hours ago. _  
  
"I missed you too,"_ Dean says. It sounds sincere, but Dean also sounds tired, kind of like he doesn't want to talk _. Shit._ He needs to keep Dean talking. Castiel knows he has a tendency to get stuck in his own mind sometimes and that occasionally that's not a good place to be. "I'm glad to hear it."  
  
No answer. Silence descends and Castiel worries. He can see the call is still in progress. Where did Dean go? What's he doing? He's been silent for near a minute now. "Talk to me... Dean? Can you hear me? Talk to me, Dean. Please-"  
  
_"M'here, Cas. Sorry. I just... zoned out, I guess."_ Shit. Castiel breathes a small sigh of relief. He freaked out there for a minute. He needs to find a way to keep Dean talking and also reassure him.  
  
"It's alright. Will you tell me what you did after you left my house?" It's not the best question in the world but he needs to know if Dean's eaten anything, or even drank anything since he left Castiel's house.  
  
_"I uh... I mean, I drove home obviously. I watched some tv, read a little bit. That's about it, really. Checked my email and stuff like that. Nothing to write home about."_ He sounds so defeated. It makes Castiel ache. He thanks all of heaven that he's getting close.  
  
"You haven't eaten since you left my house?"  
  
_"Uh... No, I don't guess so. Why you asking, Cas?"_  
  
"I'm worried about you." _I'm worried you're dropping and granted it might not be in a traditional sense from a scene, it's possible you have a hormone deficiency problem and when you're happy for a long time then removed from that environment you drop down low and start feeling bad and I'm trying to help you._  
  
_"It's alright, Cas. I'm fine."  
  
Lies_. Castiel tries to reassure Dean, tries to tell him it's okay and that he can talk to Castiel in not so many words.  
  
"It's okay to not be fine, Dean. I understand. Hey, I don't think I've asked you yet, what's your favorite color?" It's a random question, but he is curious.  
  
_"It's blue. What's yours?"_  
  
Castiel smiles. Their favorite colors are the colors of each other's eyes. "Green. Verdant green." There's silence. An ominous silence. Not even breathing is coming through. He can't help the worry. "Dean, are you there?" No answer. _Dammit, Dean_.  
  
"Dean!" Castiel pulls into Dean's driveway, double checking the address. He's positive this is the right place.  
  
_"I'm sorry, Cas. I'm being stupid. I just don't even know-"_  
  
"You're not being stupid, Dean. I promise you, you're not. I understand. Will you do me a favor?" Castiel gets out of his car and walks up on the porch of Dean's home. It's a small house, but it's kind of cute. Not something he really pictured Dean living in, but at the same time, it fits him perfectly.  
  
_"What?"_ Dean asks wearily.  
  
"Will you go to your door?" Castiel hopes the answer is yes.  
  
_"My door? Uh... Why?"_  
  
"Please?"  
  
_"Alright."_ There's shuffling in the background from the phone. Castiel looks around as he waits. _"Uh, Cas?"_ Castiel figures that Dean has seen him outside by now. "It's just me, Dean. May I come in please?" There's a long pause. Then a silence. Is Dean going to let him in? The door opens kind of quickly and surprises him. Dean's standing there in jeans and a t-shirt and he looks tired. Dean gives him a small smile and asks, "What's up?" Castiel ignores his question. "May I come in?"  
  
Dean steps back. "Yeah, yeah, sure." Castiel steps inside and looks around. The lights are off in the living room, but the kitchen light is on and it illuminates everything a little bit. "I like your home. It's... cozy."

  
  
**~Dean~**

  
  
Yeah, right. Okay, whatever. If Cas wants to try to lie about liking his house that's fine. The man has a lot of money. Dean's house is a shack compared to his. Dean just stands awkwardly, unsure of what he's doing here or what he wants.  
  
"Why're you here, Cas?"  
  
He asks finally after an uncomfortable moment of staring. He just wants to go lay down. He feels like crap.  
  
"I think you're dropping. I needed to be here."  
  
What? Dean's not... This just happens sometimes. It's not... Maybe it's caused by the same thing? He gets depressive episodes sometimes. Maybe this is kind of like that? Dean knows that if he stays happy for a while that eventually, he drops down really low, but he hasn't really thought about it in detail. He always chalked it up to hormones. He guesses that's what it technically is anyway. He's so stupid. He should've realized that. Cas wasn't even here and figured it out just from him texting. Suddenly there are hands on his face and he's being nudged to look up into big blue eyes. Kind eyes, he realizes.  
  
"Whatever you're thinking about, I want you to stop. It's time for me to take care of you, okay? We're going to get you into some comfy clothes, then to bed. We can watch a movie or sleep. Whatever you want, but I need you to let me help you. Can you do that for me, sweet boy?" The words ring delightfully in his ears. He wants to take care of Dean. He thinks maybe he might be okay with that, actually.  
  
"Alright," He whispers and Cas breaks into a big smile. "Good. I'm proud of you. Come on, let's get you out of these jeans and into something comfortable."  
  
Dean leads him to his bedroom and Cas picks out Dean's rattiest, most comfortable pair of sweats he owns and has him put them on. Before Dean knows it, he's in bed next to Cas being urged to drink hot chocolate and watching a Bruce Willis movie. It's nice. He likes it. He likes it a lot. Cas is warm and comfortable and kind and he makes Dean feel better. Dean's tired, but he doesn't want to sleep. He gets Cas to sit his empty cup on the nightstand then he scoots down the bed and wraps his arm around Cas's middle and lays his head over Cas's sternum. The sound of his heart beating is comfortable, and he's warm all wrapped up in the blanket and around Cas. Cas slides down further into the bed and his hand comes up to stroke through Dean's hair. He likes that, and it makes him beyond comfortable and sleepy. He falls asleep watching Bruce Willis and Milla Jovovich kick some alien ass while he's wrapped around his boyfriend, and for once he doesn't regret it or feel bad. He just feels nice, and he lets himself float away with Cas's soft, soothing strokes through his hair.  
  
The next day when Dean wakes up the first thing he does is take stock of his emotional situation. He feels mostly all right. A little blah, but not bad. He's a little embarrassed, but at the same time, if anybody had to see him like that he's glad it was Cas. Cas is sleeping right next to him, and Dean's sprawled partially on top of him. His mind supplies that it would be a good time to slide down under the covers and wake Cas with a good morning blow job, but his body says nah. That's alright. Cuddling is good. It feels nice to just lie next to someone and feel their warmth and their heat. It's pretty awesome, actually. Dean moves slowly so he doesn't wake Cas but he raises his head and looks up at his boyfriend. He likes the word on Cas.  
  
He's sexy as hell when he's awake. The intense eyes, and the raised eyebrow coupled with that little smirk. It makes Cas hot as fuck. But right now, while he's sleeping, Cas is beautiful. His dark lashes lay against his cheeks, and his face is relaxed and calm. He looks very at peace. Dean likes the look on him. He wonders if he looks like that when he's asleep. Probably not. He shakes his head softly and slides up the bed and onto Cas. Dean's legs brace against either side of Cas's hips and Dean rests his head in the crook of his neck. Hands come up across his back and Cas rumbles into Dean's ear. "Good morning, Dean."  
  
"Morning, Cas."  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
"Yeah. I guess. But um..."  
  
"Tell me. It's alright."  
  
"Well... I just kind of wanted you to know what you're getting into. This... I mean, last night, it happens sometimes. I'm like that. If that's not something you want to deal with, I'd understand." Cas's hand slides up his back and curls into his hair soothingly. "It's not something I'm dealing with, Dean. I'm more than happy to take care of you when you need it. It makes me happy. You do. So please stop thinking that you're a burden because you're not." Dean's not exactly sure what to make of that but he nods.  
  
"Okay then. As long as you know. Are you hungry?" Dean could really go for some food right now. He needs a distraction. He feels like a needy girlfriend and he doesn't like it. "Food sounds good. Did you have something in mind?" Dean looks up and slides off Cas. "I'm thinking eggs and sausage. How's that sound?"  
  
"Sounds fine to me."  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to make a note here: I based what happens to Dean off my own circumstances. It's like a hormone high. You get real happy for an extended amount of time, and then you drop down real low and life is just blah and sucks. If I had a Castiel in my life I'd be one happy woman right around then, lemme tell ya. I hope y'all enjoyed the update even though I gypped you on some steamy sex. :)
> 
> 6/13/2018 - Sorry bout not updating yet guys. My life is... Not going that great. There's been police, a parent giving up rights, and near fist fights, and drug use, and accusations, and moving (again) and drama, and Jesus Christ, I'm just tired. My whole life is in the air right now. Sorry. Shouldn't even be telling y'all bout that... I'm trying to get something up here for you guys though. I'm sorry it's been so long. I know most of my readers actually won't see this, but I had to say something. I just haven't been in the right headspace to write sex for these two. They deserve better from me and so do you guys. I hope to have an update in the next few days. Hope y'all are still reading.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So um, I know this took me forever and sixteen years to post, and it's gonna make y'all hate me anyway, lol. But I've been really struggling with life lately. If you're curious, check the last chapter's notes at the bottom and you'll see some of what happened, but let's suffice it to say my life's been shit and I haven't been able to write these two. Not in the right mindset for it, and you guys deserve better than that from me. I hope to post the rest of this scene soon, really soon, but I wanted to get this out here. I hope you guys like it, and seriously, for those that are still following this story and my terrible updating regime, I applaud you for you are stronger than I. You guys that actually take the time out of your day to read my writing are beautiful, and I love every single one of you. I hope you like it. This was really hard to get out.

**~Later~**

 

After they eat breakfast and they're just chilling at the table, Cas brings up the subject of kink negotiations. The negotiations involve a contract and ten billion questions and Dean's mind is kind of blown. Cas is his boyfriend, but he wants to do this contractual BDSM thing with him too. He guesses it makes sense. That will keep their playing safe and Dean won't have to worry about Cas not knowing his limits or pushing too far. Also, he's really curious what this man's kinks are. Dean knows some of them already, but he wonders if there's more. And that's how he finds himself sitting at his kitchen table next to Cas with a bunch of papers boldly talking about all manner of kinks in front of him. Cas had them in his bag in his car, apparently. Dean rolled his eyes and laughed when he found that out. So here he is staring at this contract with a knot in his stomach and frissons of excitement running through him. "This is a standard d/s contract. It'll map out rules and boundaries and safewords to keep both of us safe while we're playing. I won't hurt you, Dean."

"I know, Cas. Let's do this."  


**~**

  
An hour and a half later they're finally finished. He doesn't think it would have taken nearly as long but Cas had to explain a few things to Dean and he had a bunch of questions about Cas's previous subs. Ones that he actually wishes he hadn't asked. As far as the agreement goes, they both have a panty kink, and they agreed on no overt feminization. Meaning no 'good girl', no makeup or wigs or anything like that. Toys and implements like clamps are good, public play is good, though not in any of the clubs or anything like that because Dean's pretty sure he would freak out. Cas is into voyeurism. He's cool with that. Dean's not sure how much he's into exhibitionism, but he's willing to try it to a certain extent. He just doesn't think he could handle being naked and having sex or something in front of a bunch of strangers. But playing out in the open, and having nobody know about it? Hell yeah. The thought of it gives Dean a little thrill. Wearing toys in public is fine.

Bondage, even suspension bondage, is a-go. Actually, suspension bondage is a HUGE go. He wants to do it so badly. Just the thought of being trussed up, hanging from a ceiling at Cas's mercy is beyond appealing, it's downright orgasmic.

 _Apparently_ , Cas has a type and Dean's not so sure how he feels about it. He never really thought of himself as a twink, but compared to Cas he guesses that he kind of is. Cas is stronger than him and way more imposing. He's also twelve years older, and light-years more experienced.

He likes Dean's body the way it is. Dean's not small, but he's smaller than Cas. And lighter, apparently.  
  
He feels like a kid sometimes, but he won't lie and say that crawling into Cas's lap or being carried is in any way a turn-off. He likes that Cas is stronger than him. Dean was wondering if Cas had a bit of a daddy kink because of the baby boy thing but apparently not, which is one hundred percent A-Okay with him. He's not sure how he'd feel about saying daddy during sex. He has daddy issues. It'd be a little weird, if not a lot. Dean has a praise kink and he doesn't like negative talk like 'cock-slut' or 'little whore' or stuff like that. Sex feels good, and it's not wrong to feel good. Cas agrees with him, thankfully, though Cas said he has done that for some of his subs who wanted that, and Dean did not want to hear about that. Dean's safeword is Shinedown since all he thinks when he hears them playing is 'No'.

They decided that gags and blindfolds are okay and neither of them is interested in blood, scat or wax play, or watersports. And for fuck's sake, no sounding of any kind. They all just make Dean go ick. He knows some people get off on it and that's cool. He's always been a whatever-floats-your-boat kinda guy, but he's not personally interested in doing it. Cas asked if Dean had any kinks that he didn't already know about. Dean thought about it as he watched Cas play with his pen, twirling it between his slim fingers, but nothing had really come to mind. Dean was secretly a little thrilled when Cas asked if he could get Dean a collar.  
  
He likes the idea and he's not entirely sure why. Just... belonging to Cas. It sounds like such a damned good idea that Dean can't get it out of his head. He can't believe he has a kinky boyfriend. It's insane. It's also great, and that's enough for him.  


**~**  


Cas does eventually have to go home. He has to tend to his bees, after all. Dean's sad to see him go but it's not like he doesn't have things he has to do as well. He's definitely going to text him tonight though. Dean feels bad about what happened last night even though Cas has said that it was okay and that he didn't mind. Dean's not sure where exactly this is going, but it's been pretty awesome so far. Jesus, his ass is still sore. It probably will be for a while. Dean can't frikken wait until they scene. He's a little scared, but he's excited.

  
_**9:58 PM: >Dean:** How was your day?_

_**10:01 PM: <Cas:** It was good. My bees are doing extraordinarily well with a new project I'm working on. How was yours?_

_**10:02 PM: >Dean:** It was pretty good. Been kinda busy catching up on stuff. Had to call my brother, do house stuff. You know. Domestic fun. :P_

_**10:03 PM: <Cas:** Domesticity has its perks. Dean, may I ask you something?_

_**10:03 PM: >Dean:** Yeah, Cas. Duh._

**10:04 PM: <Cas:** _Would you be interested in doing our first scene soon? I'd like to plan the first one. Ease us both into it. If you enjoy it to the point you'd like to do it again we can use 'circus' and move from there. I was just wondering where you stood on that._

Dean likes how Cas rambles when he's nervous. It's a little cute, actually. He smiles as he replies.

_**10:04 PM: >Dean:** Dude. Do you not remember what happened over the last couple of days? Of course I'm down. Does a bear shit in the woods?_

_**10:05 PM: <Cas:** Crude, but point taken._

_**10:05 PM: >Dean:** :D_

  
  
**~Three days later~**  
**~Castiel~**

  
  
Castiel is excited. Too much, probably. Dean's on his way here and they're going to scene together. Well, that's the plan. It's possible Dean will get nervous and not want to go through with it and if so, then that's fine. Castiel will be a little disappointed, but not in Dean, just that they will not get to experience that together. He's positive that Dean will enjoy it if they scene. If they scene. Dear heavens, what a sentence. Nerves thrum through him and make his hands tremor minutely. That's not how it will be when they scene. When Castiel gets into his headspace, everything else falls away. He is in control. His hand is smooth and disciplined, practiced in its strokes with the leather straps, or the suede lines on sweat-slick skin.

He knows exactly how hard to swing, exactly how hard to push; taking a sub places they didn't even know they wanted to visit. He knows how to test limits, how to keep his submissive guessing, but assure them at the same time that he will do nothing to put them in danger. It's a fine line to walk and Castiel walks it well. He knows this from years of experience and much practice.

After some time, he can make Dean quiver and shake in anticipation and pleasure at the very sound of his voice, or the touch of his hand on a bare shoulder. When he's domming, Castiel is clear and clean and confident. He's sure in his steps, confident in his walk, his voice demands respect and submission.

When he used to visit the BDSM clubs he's seen even Doms bend to his will without realizing it, submitting to him without a conscious thought. Cain, the manager, had assured him that didn't happen much. At the time, that much power had scared him, but as time went by he realized that if he wanted submissives to put their full trust in him he had to be able to fully trust himself. He'd started by subbing. He knows that place. He knows about submitting to someone so fully that you'd let them do anything to you. Live to please, to serve, to pleasure. His submissive side still whirrs against him sometimes, but never in the playroom.  
  
No, the playroom is the place where's he's in control. He designed and built it in the basement after he bought his house. It's a room built for pleasure, built for safety and comfort and protection. A room that allows you to show your most hidden parts openly, without shame. Castiel's already bought and cleaned and stored new toys there for Dean. He had them express delivered from the online site he buys from. They're fast and efficient, thankfully. And discreet as well.

Dean should be here soon. Just from thinking about it Castiel has arousal thrumming in his veins and a semi-hard cock in his pants. How wonderful, he thinks wryly, looking down at himself with a mixture of amusement and disdain. "In control, indeed," He murmurs but truly he doesn't care.

Dean excites Castiel in the best of ways, in ways that no one else ever has. Just thinking about him bound and splayed on display for Castiel has him feeling like magma is pumping through his veins instead of blood. He's never met anyone like Dean. He's sassy and arrogant at times, and sarcastic and brash, yet so incredibly soft and almost delicate at others. His sassy boy, but his kitten as well. Castiel needs to stop thinking about this unless he wants his partial problem to become a full, raging problem.

He's on his way there anyway. He sighs and turns his mind back to his task. He's finishing his final cleaning in the playroom. He's already cleaned it twice, but he wants to be absolutely sure he doesn't forget a single thing. This routine process keeps him focused and allows him to think with minimal distraction. He sighs and steps back, observing the room critically. The wood panels on the walls and the hardwood bench gleam and shine in the soft light. The carpet's clean and thick. He ordered it with the thought in mind that his subs would be kneeling on it frequently. He nods to himself and exits, turning the light off and closing the door behind him. It has a lock on it but he doesn't employ the lock just now since he'll, hopefully, be coming back down here shortly. His phone buzzes with a text message and he swipes to open it as he walks up the stairs and into the hallway.

 **2:53 PM: <Dean:** I'm almost there. Everything still A-ok?  


Dean's checking to see if everything's okay? He must be nervous. Perhaps he needs more time before they scene.

_**  
2:54 PM: >Castiel:** Everything's more than fine here, Dean. Everything A-ok on your end? You shouldn't be texting while you're driving._

_**2:55 PM: <Dean:** Haha. I'm at a gas station, thank you very much. Besides, you're not the only one that can talk to their phone and send texts that way. Everything's cool. I'm good. A little nervous but I figure that's natural, huh?_

_**2:55 PM: >Castiel:** Indeed. It's very natural. I would be more worried if you weren't nervous. Why're you at a gas station?_

_**2:55 PM: <Dean:** What do people do at GAS stations, Cas?_

_**2:56 PM: >Castiel:** :) Sassy as always... Bring your sarcasm over here quickly. I'm waiting, baby boy._

_**2:57 PM: <Dean:** Shit. Yeah, on my way. Be there soon._

_**2:58 PM: >Castiel:** I'll be waiting._

  
Castiel knows that sentence holds a promise for Dean just like it does for Castiel. He looks down at himself. Jeans and a t-shirt. Comfortable clothes. Most likely what Dean will be in as well. Depending on how Dean is when he gets here will decide for Castiel whether or not he wants them to scene in the playroom or in his bedroom. If Dean seems overly nervous but still eager, Castiel will ease him into it all and do it in the familiar setting of his bedroom. But if not... Well, the possibilities the playroom offers are delicious. Castiel takes a deep breath and stills his mind. He is prepared. He is ready.

  
  
**~Dean~**  
  


Dean's not ready. Holy crap. No. He's fine. He wants to do this he's just psyching himself out. It's Cas for crying out loud. He'll be fine. He wipes his palms on his jeans and considers braining himself with the steering wheel. Yeah, like that'll help. Quit freaking out! It's not like you haven't had sex before! Dean ignores the little thoughts running through the back of his mind that's telling him this is not just sex, but still. He shakes his head at himself. This is just Cas, your damned boyfriend. You can do this. Having thoroughly talked himself out of his negativity as best he can, Dean pulls the key out of the Impala's ignition and is now officially parked in Cas's driveway. He takes a long deep breath. He's got this. He's going to try this. If he doesn't like it it's not like Cas is going to throw him out or something, he told Dean that. So did Dad, a little voice whispers in his mind. Shut your ass! He mentally yells back and squares himself. He's got this. Actually partially convinced this time, Dean smiles at the rearview mirror, doing the Blue Steel at his own face and actually makes himself laugh. There. That's better.

He leans into the back seat and grabs his overnight bag. He's not sure how long he'll be here, but he's got everything he needs. He and Cas went over aftercare pretty thoroughly, and Cas already seems to know exactly what Dean needs even when Dean doesn't, so he's not worried about that. Regardless, he's got everything he might need for that. Cas made him bring some stuff he finds comforting. That wasn't exactly a long list, but whatever. He's clean to Cas's specifications, he's packed for at least a couple nights; he's prepared for this as he's ever going to be and now he's going to go into that house and kiss his damn boyfriend. With that thought in mind, he finally opens his door and drags himself out of the car, shutting the door with a resounding thud. It's a good kind of sound. A finalization. He's really doing this. He squares his shoulders and sees Cas looking at him out the window so Dean waves and smiles, his chest warming at the answering gummy smile from Cas.

He disappears and Dean assumes he's going to meet him at the door so he crosses the pavement and walks up the steps, lifting his hand to knock right as Cas pulls the door open. He looks deliciously rumpled, his hair a mess. What has he been doing?

"You don't have to knock. My home is open to you anytime that you wish, Dean. Treat it as if it were your own." Well, fuck. Dean smiles and throws his bag by Cas's legs and it slides into the house and Dean leans in and wraps his arms around Cas. It's only been a few days but it felt like longer. Besides, there's nothing wrong with a good hug. If Dean should happen to be trying to suck Cas's lips off his face, that has nothing to do with anything. Cas laughs and squeezes him, then pulls him inside without letting him go. Dean steps back and smiles broadly, liking the light blush across Cas's stubbled cheeks.

"Hi, Cas." Dean leans in and kisses him properly this time, shivering a little when his stubble scrapes against his cheeks. He leans away a bit and says, "I missed you, ya know that?"  
  
Cas cocks an eyebrow at him and dryly says, "I hadn't noticed."  
  
Dean laughs and picks up his bag, "Anywhere, in particular, you want me to put this?"

"The bedroom will be fine." Dean nods and sets off to do that. He loves the way this house is set up, seriously. He shakes his head at himself and puts his duffle bag on the floor next to Cas's bed. He takes a second to take a deep breath then turns and walks back to the kitchen where he can hear Cas moving around. He's by the counter... pouring juice? Cas looks up with a small smile, offering a glass of apple juice.

"Would you like some?" Dean shrugs and takes it. He takes a swig and Cas seems pleased and Dean downs the glass. It's not like apple juice is nasty, on the contrary, it's actually pretty fucking good. Dean sets the cup on the counter and looks over at Cas, who seems to be studying him.

"Are you ready for this, Dean? Honestly, I mean. I don't want an answer based on what you think I want." Dean shouldn't be surprised. Cas is awesome like this. Regardless, he does take a minute to think about it. It doesn't take long. He really does want to try this. This whole thing interests him and it excites him beyond what should be reasonable. But yeah. He wants to try this with Cas. With Cas. He doesn't want to learn from anybody else.

"Yeah, Cas. I really do," He implores Cas to understand, "I want this. I want this with you. I just... This is a whole new world for me and I want you to show it to me. I just don't want you to be disappointed if it goes wrong, or I'm not good at it or something." In the movies, this would be when the boyfriend interrupts the rambling girl and cuts them off, telling them they're not going to be bad at it, or whatever. But not Cas. Thank God, not Cas. He's actually listening, hearing Dean's concerns.  
  
"I want to do good. To... be good f- But yeah, I'm all in as long as you are."

Dean had almost tacked on a 'Be good for you, _Sir'_ to that other sentence, but he caught himself. It wasn't needed anyway, based on Cas's face. He's lit up. The smile is small, but it's bright and genuine. He walks around the counter and hugs Dean from behind, and his warm breath ghosts across the side of Dean's neck, his nose nuzzling into his hair.

"Thank you for telling me. Thank you for being honest. I won't be disappointed if this doesn't end as perfectly as you envision it. I don't expect perfection from you Dean, or even greatness. I expect honesty, and passion, and innocence. I know you will give me those things. Give me that and it will be great. It will be perfect. And as far as it goes..." Cas's lips give him little butterfly kisses along the nape of his neck and it has Dean leaning his head back, arching his neck and baring his throat. "I think you will be fantastic. Do you remember last time?"  
  
_Of course he does._ Fuck, Dean's thought so much about that night it's probably branded into his brain.

"You were so good for me, Dean. So good." Cas bites gently at his neck at the same time that his hand comes around Dean's hip to rub against his soft cock through his jeans and Dean almost whimpers. Almost.

"So, Dean, tell me..." Cas's words skate across the shell of his ear right before his tongue does and Dean shudders against him, "Would you like to visit the circus?" Not even a question.  
  
"Yes, Sir," He breathes. "I like the circus."  
  
The words are said. This is it. Cas's hand disappears from his cock, which sucks, but he grabs Dean's hand in his and then starts pulling him towards the hallways. "Then follow me."

Cas leads him down a stairway that he hasn't paid that much attention to before and they come to a door. It's rather nondescript and Dean wants to ask what it is they're doing but he's not sure if he's supposed to or not since they're technically scening now.  
  
"You may speak, Dean, unless explicitly told not to." Well, that's simple. Cas turns round to face him, his eyes bright and wearing a smile.  
  
"My playroom is behind this door. I designed it. Built it. I would like to show it to you. I would also like to scene here if you have no qualms about it." Dean nods and says, "I wanna see it. Sir."  
  
Crap, it's gonna be hard to remember that. He just thinks of him as Cas in his mind so it's hard to say 'Sir' when the only thing that wants to come out of his mouth is _'Cas.'_

Cas opens the door and steps inside and flips on the lights before beckoning Dean to follow. He goes in, not sure what to expect, but whatever he expected this isn't it. It definitely doesn't look like a sex dungeon, which was kinda what he was picturing. The walls are warm wood panels, cherry? Maybe not. They're kind of dark, but an amber golden brown, like a good whiskey. The carpet looks thick and plush and it's a muted red, like wine. The lighting is low but plenty bright enough to chase away shadows. Cas shuts the door behind them and Dean looks around in a little bit of awe. On the left side of the room is a weird looking wall thing. It has what looks to be strategically placed holes in it, and Dean can honestly say he has no idea why. There's also some interesting metal shining on the ceiling over there and he just knows it's to string somebody up and suspend them from the ceiling. He just knows it.  
  
The thought sends a large electric thrill through him and he wonders if that's what they're doing today. He's fairly positive he'd love that.

To the right is a counter looking thing with a million tiny drawers in it, a small sink towards the right end of it, and a mini-fridge on the other side... Okay then. Directly in front of them on the wall, there's floggers and paddles(!) and other implements, _(Is that a legit whip? It looks straight out of an Indiana Jones movie, he swears,)_ that Dean's not entirely sure he wants to know the name of. Under that wall, there's a hardwood bench. It's polished, smooth and dark and gleaming and Dean wonders what exactly that's for... It has metal clamps on either side of it, lengthwise, but he doesn't understand what that would be for. Looking at the shape of it, at the size, he thinks maybe he knows. Oh boy. He looks around again, trying to take it in.

"Dean?" Cas is worried, he can tell without looking. Dean looks over at him, "Wow... Cas, you kinky bastard. This is nuts." Cas chuckles but he also narrows his eyes after a moment before stepping all into Dean's personal space. They're nearly nose to nose now and Cas seems really imposing all of a sudden. "We're scening, Dean. You will address me as Sir. This is your only warning." Fuck. Dean drops his eyes, feeling stupid. He's messed up already. "I'm sorry, Sir... I forgot."  
  
Two of Cas's fingers gently push his chin up until he's looking up at him. His eyes are kind. "I know. You may not have a collar yet, my sweet boy, but you're still mine. If I endeavor to do nothing else today it will be to teach you that." Dean just nods, not trusting his voice. He can't believe he already screwed up and they haven't even started yet.

"Dean, do you still want to do this?"

Dean's head snaps up at that. "Yeah. I mean, yes, Sir. I do. Really." Cas stares at him for a long moment but he finally nods. He gives Dean a quick kiss on the lips then steps back. "I'd like you to undress. I'll take your clothes." Dean takes a deep breath.

  
  
**~Castiel~**

  
  
Dean is beautiful in his playroom. He's gorgeous everywhere, but his submission is beautiful. Seeing him in this room, in this room where Castiel dominates, where he orders and controls, it's a heady rush that rivals that of even when he first began. Castiel watches with an admiring eye as Dean undresses. He finds it fascinating, his boy submitting to him. Castiel takes his shirt from him, folds it, and places it on the counter. Then he does the same with his pants. Dean's standing there in his boxers looking at Castiel, biting his lip.

"Problem?" Dean seems to hesitate for a moment before shaking his head. Castiel sighs lightly and steps forward, putting his palms on Dean's hip bones before sliding them around to grasp his sides.  
  
"Remember, Dean, this is about pleasure. It's exploration and discovery and joy. Tell me what made you hesitate." Dean looks away and starts to answer but Castiel places a finger to his chin and moves his face back to Castiel's. "Always here, Dean." He points to his eyes.

Dean looks up at him. "I just... It felt weird being the only one naked. Like... Like on display or something, Sir. It just made me uncomfortable, I guess." Castiel nods. "Please tell me when you're uncomfortable, for whatever reason. And remember, we're using the stoplight system for this so if at any point you want to pause and talk about things, say yellow. I can guarantee you won't need to use red. But just in case, tell me your safe word, sweet boy."

The words seemed to have a positive, interesting, effect on Dean. His face smoothed and the lines disappeared. The tension visibly eased from his body and he instantly seemed more comfortable. Hmm...

"My safeword is Shinedown, Sir." Castiel grasps the hem of Dean's boxers and slowly starts pulling them down until they eventually reach the point where when he lets them go they just fall to the floor and puddle at Dean's feet. Dean steps out of them, leaving his naked body on view for Castiel.  
  
"Good boy. Now, tell me the stoplight system so I know you understand." They've gone over this several times, but it never hurts to remind the sub that they're actually in control. Dean's tongue comes out to lick his bottom lip quickly before he answers.  
  
"Green is good to go, everything's fine. Yellow means not to push any further and that I'm uncomfortable and we need to stop and talk about it. Red is to end the scene. If I say it everything stops." Castiel nods, running his hands up Dean's chest, enjoying watching the younger man shudder minutely at his touch. "Good job, Dean. I'm proud of you for remembering so well. Now, I know we discussed this, but I must ask again. Are you sure you don't want me to ask you your color during the scene?"  
  
"I know that's usually how it's done, it's just... I don't know. You're in control. And I trust you. I know you won't do anything I don't want. Being constantly asked about it would just kinda pull me out and make me nervous I think."  
  
"Okay. You promise that if you reach yellow you will tell me immediately?"  
  
"Yeah, of course, Sir. I know how this works. I'll let you know if that happens, but I sincerely doubt it will." Dean grins.  
  
"Me too," Castiel smiles too, though his is a little darker, "Now, are you ready to play, sweet boy?"

Castiel finds the small shudder shooting through Dean at the words fascinating. He wonders if he could literally push Dean into submission with 'sweet boy'. It seems to have that effect on him. When he uses the words Dean relaxes, and Castiel can see him visibly un-tense and become more pliant. Castiel will have to use it with care. He doesn't want to accidentally push Dean into a subspace that he's not prepared for. Neither of them is prepared for that at this point, he doesn't think. "I'm ready, Sir."

  
  
**~Dean~**  
  


He doesn't feel as exposed now, with Cas touching him instead of just watching him. The safeword thing was a good distraction. Cas steps around him until he's pressed tightly against Dean's back, a hand traveling up his throat to brush at his lips slightly with the fingertips. "I'm going to tie you up, Dean. Your voice will not be restricted. If something hurts or gets too uncomfortable, tell me. Understand?" Cas's finger tracing across his bottom lip makes it tingle in a way that makes him want to bite it.  
  
"Yes, Sir." Maybe he'll do okay with this whole 'Sir' thing. Cas leans away and with the wall of heat gone from his back he feels exposed again, but then a shiver runs down his spine and spreads across his back at fingertips being dragged across his shoulders, blade to blade, and back again. Cas's hands on him. It feels good. So good. Cas's hand follows the natural path down his spine to the cleft of his ass, where he palms a cheek, squeezing lightly. Dean gasps.  
  
"I will never get tired of how ridiculously responsive you are, baby boy," Cas growls in his ear, and Dean shivers at the dropped octave. His voice is damn deep right now. "Close your eyes, Dean." Dean does with no hesitation. Cas moves away from him but Dean stays where he is. Despite what Cas said, he doesn't want to do anything wrong. He assumes it's a drawer that he hears open then slide shut, then Cas is back over standing in front of him.  
  
"I'm going to blindfold you."

"Yes," Dean nods and breathes, "Sir, please." Cas hums slightly, "Fuck, _good boy._ "  
  
Pleasure tingles along his bones at making Cas sound like that. Dean pleased him. He feels something soft come up over his eyes, and then a band being slid around his head. It feels cool, almost chilly on his eyes, and he likes it. "I'm going to walk you backward now. You won't hit anything." Dean just nods and Cas's hands grasp his shoulders, guiding him backward. It's about seven full steps until Cas stops him. It's a bigger room than he realized. If he's not wrong, he's over by the wall with all the holes in it now with his back to it and facing the rest of the room. "Kneel, baby boy."  
  
Dean gets down on his knees, sitting his ass back against his heels like he's supposed to, hands on his knees, waiting. He hears clothing shuffling around and after a minute he senses Cas step in front of him, then a thumb strokes along his bottom lip. "Open," Castiel commands softly. Dean does, then - "Suck. Lick. Show me how much you want me. Keep your hands where they are." Then Cas's cock is being guided past his lips and into his mouth. It's hot and velvety smooth and hard - but not as hard as it could be. Dean plans to remedy that.

  
  
**~Castiel~**

  
  
He slides his erection in past Dean's pouty lips and it's heaven. A hot, slick tongue starts twining its way around his cock and Castiel puts a hand to the wall behind Dean and the other in his hair, tugging slightly, encouraging. "Oh, that's so good, Dean." Dear God in heaven, his sub is eager to please and that has to be one of the most fantastic things about Dean. He bobs his head expertly, moving back and forth in a rhythm that is making Castiel's knees want to shake.

  
  
**~Dean~**  


  
He swipes his tongue along the slit and enjoys the tangy pre-cum oozing from there. Fuck, Cas tastes good. He's letting Dean do all the work, so he bobs his head and brings Cas as far as he can into his mouth, sucking and licking as he does. Cas's pleasured groan has his cock hardening and perking up in interest. He loves that friggin' sound. Cas's hand in his hair is pushing him slightly, encouraging him to go harder, so he does. As he brings Cas back in he flicks his tongue along the underside of Cas's cock until he reaches the head, where he tongues the underside of his tip. He loves the little gasps he gets for it.

"Yes, baby boy, yes. So good, Dean," Cas's hand slides down to his cheek, cupping and maneuvering until the head of his cock is pushing into his cheek. Cas groans and he feels the minute shudder that runs through Cas's body. He's not sure how pleasurable that actually is. Maybe it's a power trip or something? Then Cas pulls away, gasping. "Fuck, you're good at that." Dean smiles and raises his head up to where he thinks he'd be looking at Cas, and slowly, he licks his lips, then grins. "Ahh, my sassy boy is back. Fantastic. Stand, Dean."

Dean does, standing straight and unashamed now. He's more than a little proud that he got Cas's voice to quiver with just his mouth.

"It's time for you to learn why I'm called an angel, Dean. Are you ready?" Dean grins, "Absolutely, Sir."  
  
  
  
~  
  


Cas has him trussed up like a Christmas goose. He's got rope laid back and forth across his back, tied into he doesn't even know how many knots. It's crossed along his shoulder blades and wraps around his chest in a restrictive but secure bind. His arms are bound behind his back too, and he's being suspended from the ceiling. He's pretty sure his back is parallel with the floor. The chest harness all comes together right over his sternum and it's supporting his weight. His legs are bent at the knees and have been tied with a rope that he's pretty sure is knotted through more rope on his shoulders, but he's pretty sure some of his knee rope also connects to the main rope that's holding him up, 'cause he's being supported from that angle too, nothing's just hanging around. The rope that goes around his ass at the top of his legs feels all kinds of weird but good. It's the chest harness that's really getting him. When he flexes his muscles the rope tightens and he can't flex or move, he's so restricted, but it also makes him feel safe in a weird kind of way. He did figure out why Cas is called an angel. He's an angel of Kinbaku. Yep. It's a real thing. Who knew?

 _"Kinbaku is a short for kinbaku-bi, which means 'the beauty of tight binding.'"_ Cas had said. Apparently, the whole deal is about tying someone with _'simple yet visually intricate patterns'._ Whatever it is, and whatever it looks like, Dean frikken loves it. He delighted in the slide of the soft rope against his skin when Cas was tying him up. A light touch to his cheek brings him back to Cas, who is standing by him.

"How does it feel?" He rumbles softly, and Dean falls even more in love with him. Jesus. He answers as honestly as he possibly can. "It feels fucking amazing, Sir. It's restrictive, but kind of like a cocoon too. I feel safe. And secure. And I'm really, really, ready for you to do something with me, Sir. Please." Dean is frikken aching to be touched. Rope apparently really turns him on, or maybe it's Cas having all this power over him, or maybe it's both, but whatever it is, it has his cock hard and 100% ready to be touched.

"Is my beautiful boy begging for my touch already? Would you like me to touch you?" Cas trails his fingertips up over Dean's left shoulder so softly that he can barely feel it and Dean bites his lip. He wants those frikken hands on him.  
  
"Yes. Please, Sir. Please." Cas drags his fingers over the thin skin on Dean's throat, fluttering, barely touching, moving up over his chin to run across his parted lips. "What would you like me to do, sweet boy?"  
  
Dean doesn't plan the next words. He really doesn't. But it's what he's thinking. _"Use me,"_ He whispers and Cas inhales sharply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you you'd hate me. :) I wasn't kidding, by the way, this was really hard for me to write, and I left you hanging, to beat it all. I know, I'm terrible. Forgive me. I hope to post the rest soon. I haven't forgotten you guys or anything. Like I said, I just haven't been in the right headspace for this. I'm still not, but I am trying.
> 
> Oh, and by the way, my internet search history for this chapter is shameful. I know things about Japanese rope bondage that I've never even thought about knowing. 
> 
> Some Shout outs right now, y'all, because all you guys give me life and keep me writing when I need to be.
> 
> Deleted25, sometimesiwritespn, Amy_O, CastielsHeart, bslove17, Kiodragon.. your guys' comments are something I continually come back and read because they're so beautiful, so thank you for that. You guys don't even know how much you inspire me and drive me to keep doing this. It's kind of sad really, lol.
> 
> UnfortunatelyObsessed, I hope you're doing okay, hon. :) <3 
> 
> KAL and mea, and critterdee_67 and those of you that commented on my earlier chapters, I love y'all too. <3 
> 
> Oh, and Cherry, your comment about me getting things right about the bdsm stuck with me, and has continued to haunt me the entire writing of this chapter! *_* I hope I've gotten everything right! I definitely tried, so if I didn't it's not for lack of trying. :)
> 
> Thanks to everyone that's kudoed, commented, subscribed, bookmarked, or even glanced at this. You guys are beautiful.
> 
> As always, please comment and tell me your thoughts. I read and love every single one of them, and really they're the best thing ever for me.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A. Hope you like begging Dean, cuz holy crap, that's his fav thing in this.
> 
> B. Hope you like blasphemy cuz there's a lot of God's name flying around.
> 
> C. lookit me, I wrote a pure porn chapter. Hehehe :D

  
  
On the next breath, Cas breathes Dean's name, long and drawn out, like he's shocked or something. Should Dean not have said that? Before he can think about it much more Dean is receiving a sloppy upside-down kiss that he happily reciprocates. When Cas pulls away Dean has to gulp in air. He may or may not have forgotten to breathe. Cas starts mouthing along his throat until he finds Dean's pulse point, then he sucks. _Hard._  Fuck. Cas is marking him up.  
  
"I like marking you, baby boy. I should cover you in little hickies. Let everyone know you're _mine._ "  
  
"Do it, Sir." Dean breathes. Cas just chuckles and nudges their foreheads together. "Another time. I have a plan for today." That leaves Dean curious. Cas leaves him and Dean can hear him head off towards the opposite end of the room somewhere. "Sir?"

"Yes, Dean?"

"What are we doing now?"

"You are tied up and waiting on me to pleasure you. I'm getting the tools I need to do so."

 _Yeah, not what I meant, smartass,_ but fine. Dean just shakes his head a little and smirks. His boyfriend is sarcastic as hell sometimes which is pretty awesome. After another few moments, Cas is back, but this time he's between Dean's legs.

  
**~Castiel~**

  
Dean is beautiful all tied up for him. Splayed and open and ready to be pleasured. To be _played with_. Dean's pliant under Castiel's rope; restricted and displayed. The sight has his blood boiling. He can hardly believe this is real. Castiel reaches his hand out and rubs it up Dean's inner thigh, enjoying the way his legs quiver when he does. Dean is so desperate to be touched right now, and all Castiel wants to do is touch. Touch, explore, test, learn, adventure.

  
**~Dean~**

  
He gasps when Cas runs a hand up his inner thigh. It's a light touch but more firm than the last ones were and Dean relishes it. He's not prepared for the slick finger prodding at his hole and he jerks, surprised. Cas chuckles lightly and continues running his finger over his pucker, sending whirls of sensation through Dean. "Look at how spread out you are for me. How open and wide. Oh, how glad I am that I get to play with you, Dean."

Dean loves this. He loves the buildup: the climb, but Jesus, he wishes it'd _hurry the fuck up._ Dean forces himself to relax his muscles and Cas's finger slides in. He moans lowly and wishes to all that's holy that he could thrust his hips against it but he can't because his frikken boyfriend tied him to a ceiling. Good God... Cas starts thrusting in and out with slow precision, lightly rubbing over his prostate every second or third stroke, slowly fanning the flames burning in his belly. Fuck, he wants this so bad. The rising pleasure from him doing that has Dean jerking and gasping every time Cas glances over his prostate.  
  
"I do love you like this," Cas says as he inserts another finger, teasing Dean. "You're beautiful."

"I want you, Sir. I need you in me." Dean pleads. He's desperate for Cas. "Oh, you do, hmm? Well, that'll have to wait, sweet boy. I have plans for this little pink hole. For the time being those plans have nothing to do with my cock. You'll be getting that later. Assuming you're good, anyhow."  
  
Dean's cheeks redden and he whines at the words. He wants it now! Cas chuckles and removes his fingers making Dean whine again at the loss. He feels so damn empty. "For now we're going to keep that pretty hole occupied. I have a selection of toys here, each with a corresponding number. Choose a number between one and three." Umm, okay.  
  
"Two?"

"Good choice, baby boy." Dean hears a click, and a few moments later it sounds again. Another moment after that there's something small and slick pressing at his hole. He moans as it slides past his rim and inside him. He can feel it quickly growing wider as it goes in. Just when he thinks that it's going to slide all the way in, Cas pulls it out, leaving him empty again.  
  
"Sir. Sir, please." Dean jerks in his bonds, making him swing a little. Cas chuckles again as he steadies him. "Do you wish that you could take the plug from me? Take it and shove it in your wet little hole? Hmm, greedy boy?" The plug starts sliding in again. Dean clenches down around it, relishing the gradual slide. "Answer me, boy." Cas twists the plug and Dean gasps.

"No! No, Sir. I don't want that. Want you to do it. Want you to be the one to - oh! - to p-pleasure me-ee!" Dean starts stuttering when the tip of the plug bumps into his prostate. With his answer, it gets pushed all the way in and is nestled comfortably inside him. Cas taps his finger against it a couple of times and Dean jerks.

"Good boy."

Cas's hand runs over his bare balls with a curious manner, rolling them with his gentle hand. He runs a finger up over Dean's dick with a light touch and Dean shudders, gasping. He wants so much more than this. "So desperate. So entirely responsive. It's refreshing."

"Thank you, Sir." Dean bites his lip and stares at the black eyemask covering his eyes. Fuck, this is intense. He has no idea what Cas is going to do next. Cas wraps his hand around Dean's cock and gives him a few good strokes. "Good. That's good. I didn't even have to ask. You're learning, baby boy. I'm proud of you."

"Thank you!" Dean gasps as he feels a hot mouth wrap around the tip of his cock. "Oh, God." The heat's gone for a moment- "You can call me Sir," -then they're back around him, a tongue flicking out to taste him. _Smartass_ , Dean thinks again. He wants to shudder in delight, but he's a little restricted at the moment.

 

**~Castiel~**

  
  
The deep blue plug looks lovely nestled in between Dean's cheeks. He thought it would. He's very glad that Dean chose that one, though number three, the purple dildo, would've been fun too. This plug vibrates and he can't wait to startle Dean with that. He's definitely not going to expect it. Castiel picks up the remote and thumbs the button for a moment, thinking, but decides to wait until the opportune time. Castiel licks at the fleshy underside of Dean's cock and revels in the taste. He loves it. He knows some people don't but he's definitely got the taste for it. He loves the delicious little sounds he pulls out of Dean as he works his tongue over his length. It's delightful, and it's making his hard-on throb with want. He can't wait to fuck Dean stupid while he's tied up and hanging from Castiel's ceiling.

"Fuck, so good, Sir!" Dean calls, and if Castiel could grin, he would. Since he can't, he increases the suction on Dean's dick and revels in the soft gasp he gets for it. It's been a long time since he's had this much fun with anyone in the playroom.

"Sir. Sir, please, I want- _Ngh!"_ Castiel's clicks the button on the remote to the vibrator to turn it on and pulls off Dean's cock to watch him attempt to writhe in his binds, clearly enjoying the stimulation. "Oh, fuck! Caaa- Mmmmm." Dean closes his lips and moans instead of calling out Castiel's name, but it was close. He wonders if Dean is going to break the rule. That would be fun to see.

  
  
**~Dean~**  


  
"Oh, God, Sir!" He didn't know it was a vibrating plug! Fuck, that feels so good. It's buzzing wildly inside him and he's clenching down on it in a rhythm, enjoying the way it moves when he does and he's soon breathless. "Are you ready for what's next?"

"What's next?" Dean asks in a choked whisper. He feels cold metal sliding down his throat and he doesn't understand what it is until Cas starts swirling it around his nipple with a slight metallic clanking, like a chain. Dean moans when he figures out it's a clamp, raising his head up and flopping it back uselessly. "You want it, baby boy?"

"Yes, Sir. Please!" Dean's starting to wonder if Cas has a thing for enthusiastic consent. That's a thing, isn't it? Cas didn't mention it but - _Ahh!_ The cold metal bites down on his hardened nub with a powerful pinch, but fuck he loves it.

"You want more, don't you?" Cas's voice is a little awed, "You're lovely like this. Just look at you." He murmurs, and if Dean's not already flushed he most certainly is now. He didn't think Cas would be so damn sweet! The other clamp latches down and now he's got both on. There's a small, thin chain connecting them and Cas pulls on them, making Dean jerk and arch into it as much he can. A small click sounds and suddenly the plug starts vibrating faster and Dean's mouth drops open in a silent pant.

Cas takes ahold of his cock and Dean keens loudly, trying to thrust his hips against his hand, but he can't. God, this is too much. "Sir!" He pleads. "Want you in me. Please, please, Sir! Oh, fuck!"

  
  
**~Castiel~**

  
  
Castiel chuckles with dark amusement and leans in between Dean's legs, tapping the plug. Dean moans and jerks and it's music for Castiel's ears. He strokes Dean's cock faster and uses the other hand to tug on the nipple clamps. Dean's mouth falls open and he moans unabashedly. Castiel licks his lips in appreciation. He keeps stroking Dean's cock, using his thumb to smear pre-cum around and make the slide that much slicker, and then he uses his other hand to play with the plug inside Dean. He pulls it out slightly before pushing it back in deep. He repeats the process with faster and faster motions, increasing the force, now he's furiously fucking Dean with the toy.

"Oh, God! Fuck! Ca-Sir! _Nng!_ "

A sound falls out of Dean's mouth that has Castiel's erection straining upwards and he's nearly ready to break and take the plug out and shove himself inside. He loves being in Dean's ass. But he's waiting for something. It should be coming sometime soon. _What a pun_ , he thinks wickedly with a bright smile. He pulls the plug almost out, rubbing the tip around Dean's clenching rim. He angles it towards Dean's naval and slides it back in torturously slow, holding the buzzing device against Dean's prostate. His cock is practically weeping at this point but Castiel doesn't stop jerking him off. If anything he slows down and starts making Dean really feel it. Lord, he loves this.

"Sir! Oh, God, Sir, please! I wanna cum! Please, may I cum?" Castiel smiles widely in satisfaction. "Ahhh, there it is. Good boy. _Good boy._ Now tell me what you want."

"Want your cock! Want you in me! Please, I wanna be fucked. Please, Sir, please!"

"You beg so beautifully for me, baby boy. Good job." Castiel pulls the plug out of Dean, takes a moment to turn it off, and abandons it on the floor. "Oh, please C- Sir. Don't leave me empty. Please. I need you!"

Castiel strokes Dean's inner thigh soothingly as he grabs the bottle of lube on the floor. He knows Dean is prepared enough, but Castiel loves the sloppy sounds of fucking, and he's sure Dean would appreciate the extra slick. "I'm not going to leave you empty, sweet boy. Don't worry. I've got you." Castiel slides his lube-slick fingers into Dean and enjoys the clenching heat tightening down around him. It's been too damn long since last time. "Oh God, Sir, please."

"You need it, don't you, baby boy?" Castiel murmurs as he pulls his fingers from Dean, who whines lowly with need. "Yes. Yes, I need it. Please!"

Castiel is finally going to give his boy what he needs.

  
  
**~Dean~**

  
  
Dean moans long and loud when Cas's cock starts rubbing against his perineum. "Oh God, please Sir. Dammit. Please! I'm begging here." Cas chuckles and wraps a hand around Dean's cock, jerking him lazily. "I know you are. I love listening to it. I'm going to give you what you want, baby boy. Patience is a virtue."

"One I've never had." Dean gasps out and he delights in the laugh that gets. Even tied to a ceiling he still gets tingly when Cas laughs. Cas's cock runs over his wet hole and Dean jerks.  
  
"Please, Sir." It's a low plea. One that Cas finally frikken obliges.

"Ask and you shall receive." The head of Cas's cock slips into his hole with a teasingly slow slide. It only gets a couple of inches in before Cas is pulling back out again. Dammit, what Dean wouldn't give to be able to get his hands on this man. "I do love teasing you, baby boy."

"Noticed that." He gasps as Cas slides back in. This time he bottoms out and Dean groans, shuddering under Cas's touch. Then Cas pulls back and rams back in and Dean shrieks. Finally! Cas doesn't stop. His hips start thrusting in a steady rhythm that seems intent on teasing Dean. Slow, slow, fast, fast slow. _Goddammit, Cas,_ he thinks. What he says out loud is, "Please fuck me, Sir. I'm ready. _Use me."_   He whispers the words again and Cas groans deliciously. He starts fucking into Dean at a furious pace and sweet fuck that's amazing. Cas is hitting his prostate ever second or third stroke, slowly taking him closer and closer to the edge the more he does it. Then there's a sharp pull on his nipples, and _damn, he forgot the nipple clamps._ They tingle and pinch with the pain, but it feels awesome and only adds to it all.

"Fuck, you're amazing." Cas pants and Dean can only agree, just vice versa. He can't believe he was lucky enough to find a sex god of a kinky boyfriend in a coffee shop.

CasCasCas - "Sir. Fuck, yes! There! Oh, God!" Cas chuckles and his hands snake around from Dean's legs to squeezing his hips so tight it hurts a little but Dean frikken loves it in the heat of the moment. "Yes! Yes, that. Please!"

Cas's fingers disappear from his hips and he feels one hand scrabbling at his back for something and the other wraps around his cock with a wonderful twist of the wrist that has Dean spiraling towards oblivion. Cas's fingers finally hook onto something near his lower back, and _oh my God._ He's _pulling_ Dean onto his dick _with the rope._ He's literally pistoning into Dean now, and his ass is being pounded in the most filthy of ways. The slick sounds of sex and heavy panting are better than any frikken Led Zepp song right now and Dean's near delirious on the high of finally getting what he wants. Oh, he's _so close._

"Yes. Yes, fuck, that's it. You clenching around me baby boy - It's - God. It's heaven. That's right. Take me, Dean. Good boy. Fuck." Cas groans above him and Dean's blood is singing. His bones are calling out for this and oh man if he doesn't cum soon- He moans loudly as Cas switches from a hand on his cock to pulling at the nipple clamps again. Then it's back to his cock, which is dripping precum and he can feel it pooling on his stomach and dripping off his sweat-slick body. Ooooh, _fuck._ "Right there, Ca-Sir!"

"Do that again and I'm _spanking you,_ boy." Cas grunts and Dean gets the picture. He's picturing floggers and paddles and leather- _shit._ Fuck, that's hot though. Cas starts stroking him with purpose and he jerks Dean by the rope back onto his cock at the same time he thrusts forward, making him hit _deep_ and _hard_ in the best of ways. Dean's body is on fire. He's so frikken close. Cas starts nailing his prostate and Dean loses it, babbling like an idiot.

Ca-"Sir!" He catches it before he says it, "Please, please, _please_. I need to cum! Need to cum! So close! Please! Cum in me, Sir. Want you to cum in me!"

"Dirty boy. Like being all marked up, huh? Like belonging to me?" Cas marks each word with a thrust and Dean's about to lose it whether he's allowed to or not. His whole body is straining for it and he's starting to get a cramp in his leg from it.

"Yes! Yes, fuck yeah! I love it, Sir! Please." Dean pleads as Cas genuinely starts nudging Dean's prostate on every single thrust. "I'm close too, baby boy. You can cum." _Fuckfuckfuck._ Cas's hand is flying over Dean's dick, squeezing and twisting in all the right places and he doesn't stop pulling on the rope, fucking Dean back into him. "Cum, Dean!"

The command flies through him and all Dean can do is obey, every nerve in him is screaming for him to do it. He feels it burning, building then - "Fuuuuck!"

He starts spurting cum all over his stomach as Cas starts twitching inside him, moaning through his own release, hand never ceasing on Dean's cock. He sees stars and colors erupt in the blindfold as he spasms in his binds and tries to take notice of the way Cas feels cumming in his ass, marking him up, but honestly, his mind is a million miles high. It's all sensation. Dean gasp and moans, "Sir!" as Cas grinds into his prostate again, producing another glob of cum that he feels sliding down his length. Dean finally stops twitching and he can hear Cas panting above him, Dean's doing his own panting. _Holy fucking shit._  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter than the last, but that's because I wanted to separate the fluff and the porn. I wanted this particular chapter to be an... experience. LOL. I hope you liked it, and as always, if you feel moved please feel free to leave a comment. I adore hearing from you guys. :D
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it!


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol, after long last, a whole week, ya gaybies, I have posted fluff.

  
**~Castiel~**

  
He pulls out of Dean with careful precision, not missing the slight wince flitting through Dean's blissed out expression. Dear God, that was amazing. His blood is still singing and his breathing sounds harsh to his own ears. Castiel takes a deep breath and moves around Dean's side, where he's panting. Castiel places himself over in front of Dean and slides the blindfold off his face onto the floor, fingers trailing over his skin. He leans over and captures Dean's lips with his. They're slack at first, but he quickly responds. Enthusiastically. Castiel pulls away and murmurs against Dean's lips as his fingers start trailing over the rope so he can begin to untie Dean.

"So good, baby boy. You did amazing for me. Fantastic."

Castiel presses a soft kiss to Dean's temple as his thumb finds the knot that will release the bottom half of Dean's restraints. It's a very good thing Castiel is strong. He has a feeling that he's going to have to carry Dean up the stairs. "I'm taking you down, Dean. You've done so well for me. Does a bath sound nice?"

They're both sweat-slicked and smelling strongly of sex and exertion. Castiel personally thinks Dean smells amazing right now, but he knows it would feel nasty to go to sleep and wake up with the residue of their session.

"Yeah. Sounds nice," Dean murmurs, eyes closing and opening slowly. Castiel smiles softly at his exhausted partner. He's adorable like this. He gets a slight moan from Dean as he undoes the knots on Dean's legs, releasing them from their binds. He draws them out, stretching them and checking the muscles for tenseness. He runs his hands over Dean's thighs, squeezing a bit and receiving a whine from him, "Feels good, Ca-Sir... God."

Castiel laughs at the slip. It is amusing now. He knows they're still technically scening, but he wouldn't punish Dean right now for saying his name. He's far too sated and out of it. They'll need to run over rules again if he's going to make that allowance. He makes a mental note for that as he starts laying plans in his head to get Dean down with him basically being a limp body with a happy smile. He's definitely going to enjoy giving Dean a massage later, he'll need it for the soreness in his muscles. And Castiel's not going to pass up an opportunity to get his hands on Dean.

"Sir?" Dean slurs the word a bit and Castiel looks up from where his hands are now working the rope.

"Yes, bel-baby boy?" _Beloved?_   Shit. Later, Castiel. Later.

"Can I get down now?"

Castiel chuckles. "That's what I'm doing, sweet boy. I'm untying you, then we're going to go upstairs and take a bath. Then we're going to cuddle in bed, and you don't have to protest that you don't like it, because I know better."

Dean gives him a lazy grin without opening his eyes. "Know me too well, ya know that?"

"I don't think there's any such thing." _I want to know all of you, Dean Winchester. Every nook and cranny and forgotten secret and quirky hobby. Everything._

Dean, oblivious to Castiel's current thoughts, says, "Don't think I'ma be makin' it up those stairs though."

"I have a plan. Dean, lock your legs around me." Dean does it without question, his legs going around Castiel's abdomen and crossing at his back, bringing them closer together. Castiel puts his right hand to Dean's lower back and uses it to steady and support him as Castiel lets the knot holding Dean's lower half up loose. Dean barely drops and Castiel easily supports him. Remove a few more crisscrosses of rope and he can let Dean down now to stand. "Stand up, baby boy. I'm going to get the rest of you down now."  
  
When Dean's feet hit the floor the chain on the nipple clamps he's still wearing jingles and Dean moans lightly, shuddering and curving inwards, even in his binds.  
  
"I have a feeling you're either really going to like this, or you're really going to hate it," Castiel says then without warning unclenches one of the clamps off Deans right nipple. It only takes a moment before Dean is gasping then a low stream of colorful cursing saturates the air. The blood returning can tingle and hurt, but he had the correct assumption that Dean would find pleasure in it. Dean bounces on the balls of his feet and his face flushes. Castiel watches with avid interest and no small amount of amusement as Dean's chest flushes red and he bites his bottom lip, still squirming in the rope. It's a glorious picture. If Castiel could, he would photograph it, then blow it up on a canvas and stick it on his wall here in the playroom. _Next time, Castiel. Next time._

He steps forward and takes the other clamp off, laying them on the table then coming back to Dean who is twisting on his feet and humming a low tune that Castiel doesn't recognize. He takes Dean by the shoulders and rubs them soothingly. "Good job, baby boy. You did so well for me. That was so good. Did you like that?"  
  
Dean's nodding before the sentence is even out.  
  
"Yes - Yes, Sir. That was... awesome." Dean smiles and the sight is breathtaking. Castiel shakes his head at himself and starts unbinding the rope from Dean's chest, noting that the light red lines sculpting his skin are not angry and raw, just there, light and beautiful, showing the design wonderfully.

  
**~**

  
After he's got all the ropes off Dean is swaying on his feet and Castiel quickly hauls him up -"Up, Dean," - sweeping him off his feet, so to speak. He intended to carry him bridal style but Dean grabbed his neck and scrambled into a different position. One that Castiel finds most interesting. Dean's wrapped his arms around Castiel's neck, buried his face into his throat and wrapped his legs around his waist. Castiel stills for a moment, a hand pressing reassuringly against naked skin at Dean's lower back.

"Sorry. Just like this, is all..." Dean's voice is unsure like he's wondering whether or not he's going to get punished or reprimanded. "It's weird."

That returns Castiel to his mindset and he reminds himself that Dean is vulnerable right now. He can't get shocked by the things Dean might do right now, he can't show Dean that because he'll misinterpret it. Castiel pushes him up on his body and shifts him a little, then nuzzles his face into Dean's neck.

"No, baby, it's okay. It's not weird at all. I like it too. You don't have to apologize for things you like, sweet boy. I promise. Are you ready to go upstairs?" Castiel is trying to get a gauge on where Dean is right now emotionally speaking, so he's standing still, arms supporting Dean and speaking soothingly. It's not uncommon for his subs to want a few more minutes to calm down before going upstairs into the sane part of the house.

"I'm okay. Upstairs is fine. S'really not weird?" Dean accentuates the question with nuzzling his nose into the crook of Castiel's neck. In response, Castiel strokes the back of Dean's head, fingers combing through the short hair that leads down to the back of his neck.

"Of course not. It's adorable, baby boy. I love that you're so free with me. Do you remember what I said upstairs that I expected you to give me here?"

The halting reply comes a moment later. "Ho-honesty... Passion. And-And innocence."

"That's right, Dean. Very good. And you give me those things," Castiel kisses Dean's temple lightly, "You're perfect for me, Dean. I love that you're so open and honest. That you're so trusting of me. That you're vulnerable with me. It's beautiful to witness, and I consider myself lucky to see it," He says honestly and he loves Dean's little intake of breath.

"You mean that?" Dean asks.

Instead of kissing him, which is most likely expected if not being hoped for, Castiel rearranges his arms and squeezes Dean in a very tight, conforming, hug. Then he kisses him.

"Of course I mean it. I only tell you the truth, baby boy. We're going to go upstairs now." Castiel says as he starts walking, still holding Dean like a... well, like one would carry a child. As Castiel opens the door and steps into the slightly chillier air of the rest of his home it occurs to him that he didn't say 'baby boy' when assuring Dean that it wasn't weird. He said 'baby'. Castiel doesn't think he's done that before... That will warrant more thought later. As Castiel gracefully climbs the stairs, even with his boyfriend attached to his front, he wonders if perhaps Dean would be open to age play. It was discussed as a possible kink when they discussed terms and disregarded, but Castiel wonders if it might warrant some more consideration. Based off today's scene and their current situation, well... Anything is possible. Castiel clears his mind as he reaches the opening to the hallway and carries a now goose-bumped Dean to Castiel's bathroom.

He did think to turn on the vent in here, so it's warmer in here than the rest of the house. "Dean, do you want to get down so I can draw the bath water?"

Whatever sound it is that comes from Dean is a negative one and it makes Castiel chuckle. So instead of forcing Dean to get down Castiel just sits on the wide rim of the tub, planting his feet for stability, and uses his right hand to start running the water and pulling the switch that will close the drain so the tub will fill up. With the way he's sitting, it's actually his left arm that's keeping Dean pressed against him, not the fact that he's sitting in his lap. Dean's ass is exposed to the open air, and even after being sated, the position does offer some delicious thoughts to pass through his dirty mind.

He takes a casual glance at the bottle that he pours some scented liquid bubble-soap that he made into the water, but he had it sat out and waiting so it's not too important. He had everything prepared. He sets it back on the built-in wall shelf and turns his attention to Dean once more. He's still clinging to Castiel, not that he minds too much, really. It really is adorable. Almost all of his subs would get self-conscious a few minutes after the initial scene was over and withdraw from their vulnerable state. Dean is... an enigma. He just throws himself wholeheartedly into it and gives Castiel his all. He doesn't seem to have any reservations, even after a scene is over. He just gives it his all. He's still being so wonderfully open and loving, it's a sight to behold. Castiel murmurs the last things into Dean's ear as the tub fills up and scented steam fills the bathroom. It smells like sandalwood and jasmine and mint. They complement each other nicely, he thinks.

"You're sweet, Sir." Castiel notices that Dean didn't slip that time and wonders why. Hmm. God, he loves this.

"You are amazing. It makes me want to be very sweet to you." Castiel says in return and checks the water temperature before turning the hot knob a bit, it could use a little more warmth.

"You are. All the damn time. Not sure how, but I like it."

"I know, sweet boy. I enjoy it too. I love seeing your smile. It lights up your whole face, did you know that?"

Dean shakes his head and presses his face further into Castiel's bare skin. "Hey, baby boy?"

"Hmm?" Dean hums and Castiel smiles.

"Why're you hiding?" Dean just shakes his head again. "Are you hiding from me?"

Another head shake.

"That's not quite true, is it?" Castiel's smiling brightly and he can feel Dean's lips quirk up. He gets another headshake and it makes him laugh. He leans his head forward and nips at Dean's earlobe, teeth grazing slightly. He notes and revels in the obvious shiver that races down Dean's spine and he murmurs into the shell of his ear.

"Lying is a punishable offense, baby boy. I expect honesty from you, _remember?"_ His voice is dark with intent but playful and light enough that it makes Dean chuckle.

"I'm sorry..."

Castiel turns the water off in the tub and moves his right hand to support Dean while his left travels down the length of his back following the natural curvature, slowly tracing over the slight ridges of Dean's spine.

"I know it, baby boy." When his finger runs down into the space of Dean's crack he feels Dean tense. Then his middle finger runs over Dean's relaxed, wet, hole and he moans softly, teeth nipping Castiel's shoulder as he tries to keep quiet. His finger circles over his clenching hole and Castiel can feel semen, _his spunk_ , leaking out over his fingers.

"You don't have to hide from me. Not your emotions, not your apparent lack of acceptance for compliments, and definitely... not your sounds." Castiel punctuates the last sentence by slipping his finger inside Dean, who is sopping with Castiel's cum and lubricant. "Show me your appreciation with your noises. Your moans are music to my ears."

When Castiel enters another finger Dean keens and throw his head back, exposing his beautiful face to the light for Castiel to admire.

"Sir. Too sensitive. _Nng_. So good! Don't stop." Dean pants. Castiel chuckles and pushes his fingers into Dean slowly and gingerly, loving the gradual build.

"My baby boy didn't think he was only getting one orgasm, did he? No, _no_ ," Castiel says playfully, "You deserve another for how good you were. Do you see how beautiful you are, sweet boy? Hmm, Dean? Do you know what seeing you like this does to me? You light fire to my blood," Castiel murmurs against the hollow of Dean's throat, sucking little bruises as he travels lower. His mouth finds one of Dean's abused nipples and he keens loudly, hands coming up to bury in Castiel's hair. Castiel licks and nibbles and sucks. Soon Dean is squirming and thrusting his hips as best he can into Castiel's ministrations. The angle's not good enough for him to be able to stroke Dean's prostate, but he's quickly reducing him to a quivering mess anyway.

"Yes, that's it, baby boy. There he is. Are you going to cum for me, sweet boy? Hmm?" Castiel murmurs against Dean's heated skin, making him shiver. Suddenly Dean reaches a hand between them and immediately grasps Castiel's cock, making him gasp. "Dean!"

"Want you to cum too, Sir! Please. Please cum with me?" _How in the blue hell is he supposed to resist that, anyway?_

"Okay, baby boy. Okay."

Castiel groans when Dean's thumb traces the fleshy ridge under the head of his cock and his fingers stutter for a moment and slip out of Dean in his pleasure. Dean whines pitifully, letting go of Castiel's erection and tries to thrust his ass back against his fingers, teeth gnawing his bottom lip. "Please, Sir. Don't stop. Oh, God."

Castiel arches an eyebrow. "Have I left you hanging yet, baby boy?"

"No, but I need... _Mmm."_ Dean cuts himself off as he rocks his weeping erection against Castiel's abdomen. In the process he's grinding against Castiel's own erection caught between them and the sensation makes him groan. With a frustrated noise, Castiel lays a hand against Dean's hip and stills their rocking, much to Dean's despair. He whines and lays his head back against Castiel's shoulder, panting. He soothes Dean, "I've got you, sweet boy. I'm going to take good care of you. You just have to trust me."

"Do trust you, Sir." Dean mumbles and Castiel grunts a little as he grabs Dean's hips and lifts him up. Dean grapples his shoulders and opens his eyes wide. "Ca-Sir?"

"Trust me, Dean. Use your hand."

"My hand?" Dean understands as soon as the blunt tip of his cock slides over Dean's sloppy hole and he groans a soft, "Ooh." Dean's hand immediately reaches to direct Castiel's cock right into his hole. There's no resistance to speak of after Castiel breaches the rim and he slides all the way in with a long groan. The pace he sets is slow and steady. With the combination of Dean rocking in his lap and Castiel thrusting as much as he can in this position, they soon build themselves to the peak. Castiel tweaks Dean's right nipple and he moans loudly, rocking his cock against Castiel's body.

"Sir," Dean pants, "Please, wanna cum. _Please?"_

"Yes, baby boy. Cum for me." Castiel grips Dean's cock in hand and starts stroking the slick member with a firm grip. Dean keens and throws his head back, panting wildly and gyrating his body. "Gonna cum. Gonna cum, Sir."

"That's it, baby boy. You can do it for me."

Dean cums with a howl and Castiel jerks inside his clenching muscles with his own release, moaning softly at the feeling of Dean spasming around his length. Dean's head falls to his shoulder as he finally stops twitching and he's panting warm breath onto Castiel's heated skin. Castiel runs his hand up Dean's back, rubbing soothingly.

"You're perfection," Castiel murmurs. "You're amazing, Dean. So perfect and loving and sweet and amazing." He punctuates each adjective with a kiss to Dean's skin, who moans softly and shudders against Castiel.

"Thank you, Sir." Dean murmurs slowly.

Castiel doesn't have to ask what he's being thanked for. He puts his hand to Dean's cheek and kisses him soundly, slowly. "You're welcome."

  
**~**

  
Castiel carefully pulls out of Dean, trying to be careful now that he's so sensitive. "Come now. We're going to take a bath."

 

**~Dean~**

  
Cas stands up and holds onto Dean firmly for a moment, then he begins pressing light kisses into Dean's hair. "You have to get down, baby. I need to turn you around the other way so we can sit."

Dean sighs but loosens his legs from Cas and puts his feet to the floor. It's warm, thankfully. Dean's eyes are only half open so the room is kind of blurry. He lets go of Cas and stands there, swaying a bit. He just wants to be close to Cas right now. Luckily it's only a moment later that Cas starts directing him into the tub. Dean steps into the water in front of Cas. The water is hot and it feels amazing as he settles down into it, sitting in front of Cas. The tub is big and it's more than comfortable for them both to be in here. Dean just settles back against Cas's chest and moans at the hot water lapping at his skin.  
  
"Mmm, I love that sound." Cas murmurs and he starts sliding his hands over Dean's shoulders and down over his chest.

Cas's right hand reaches for something on the shelf and Dean lets his head loll against him. Cas comes back with a washcloth that he wets and covers in some sort of spicy-smelling soap then he starts washing Dean. He rubs the soapy cloth over his neck and down the valleys of his chest, then over his arms and even his hands. Cas is being so patient an gentle, and it's lulling Dean to sleep. This man is too sweet. Dean bites his lip when Cas starts rubbing the cloth over his inner thighs. Cas chuckles in his ear.  
  
"Enjoying yourself, baby boy?"

Dean hums the affirmative and turns his face so he can nuzzle against Cas's jaw. His stubble is rough on his nose but with all the steam and maybe Dean's current mindset, it feels soft and good too. I love this, Dean thinks.

  
**~Castiel~**

  
After he's done drying them both off, he dresses first then gets Dean fresh sweatpants and a clean t-shirt. Comfort clothes. He leaves the mess in the bathroom until later and takes Dean by the hand to guide them to the bedroom. Dean looks like he's on the point of passing out at this point. He's sure Dean's tired. Castiel is. He has Dean take a long drink from the bottle of water on the nightstand. Watching the way his Adam's apple moves when he swallows is weirdly erotic.

He loves doing this with Dean. He's so open and sweet right now. Castiel pulls back the blanket and gets Dean in bed.  
  
"Would you like anything from your bag?" Castiel asks softly, bending at the waist so he can kiss Dean softly.When he pulls away Dean murmurs, "Just want you. Please?"

  
How can Castiel resist that? He climbs into bed next to Dean and lays down and he's immediately blanketed with a cuddly Dean Winchester. Dean throws his leg over Castiel's and snuggles his face into Castiel's shoulder. "Are we done... with the circus, Sir?"

Castiel chuckles. That's the longest sentence Dean's said in a while.

"Yes, baby. We're done with the circus." Castiel presses a kiss to Dean's hair and hugs him tight. There's that 'baby' again. Now they're just boyfriends cuddling on the bed after an intense round of kinky sex. The thought makes Castiel smile. Late afternoon sunlight is shining through the windows and giving Dean's skin a golden glow. He looks warm and sleepy and beautiful. Dean's brow creases and he makes a frustrated noise. "What's wrong, Dean?"

"Not... close enough." Castiel smiles at the look of irritation on Dean's face as he opens his sleepy eyes.

"We can't get much closer than this."

"Not true," Dean mumbles before he sighs and throws his legs all the way across Castiel's hip, then he slides his entire body over Castiel's. He looks up, then lays his head back down on the pillow and gives a full-bodied laugh that has Dean shaking on top of him. He's in a child's pose on top of Castiel's body. His calves are framing Castiel's hips and his head is settled onto right next to Castiel's chin, facing him. Castiel just laughs softly and wraps his arms around Dean, holding him close.

"You're cute."

"Am not. I'm handsome."

Castiel laughs again, "No, I don't think so. Cute fits better."

"Rude. I'm not cute." Dean mutters and Castiel can't help the smile that tugs at his lips. He runs his hand down Dean's back and pinches his buttcheek, making Dean squeal, "Hey!"

Castiel laughs. "Not cute, hmm? I beg to differ." Dean smiles and rolls his eyes, looking up at Castiel.

"Shut up, you." He leans forward and presses a kiss to Castiel's lips. When he pulls away Castiel says, "Sassy boy."

Dean lays his head back down, whining, "Hey, no fair."

"What's not fair?"

"When you - When you call me that. It's not fair."

Castiel smiles at Dean's quiet mumbling and slides his hand under Dean's shirt, running his fingers over Dean's spine. "It turns you on, doesn't it?"

"Definitely something to that effect." Dean mumbles and Castiel can tell he's about to fall asleep. Castiel strokes Dean's hair softly.

"Sleep, Dean. I have you."

Soon after that Dean's breaths change to deep and soft and slow. Castiel continues stroking his hair, loving the way the soft, short strands feel between his fingers. He also loves the way the sunshine glints off Dean's hair and makes it look almost golden instead of brown. Castiel enjoys this so much. Holding Dean like this makes him feel content in ways he hasn't felt... maybe ever. This man is just so wonderful. Castiel can't get enough of him. He holds him close and feels himself drifting off with Dean in his arms.

  
**~Dean~**

  
When Dean wakes up he's drooling onto Cas's shirt and his eyes feel like they're stuck shut. Despite that, he feels really good right now, and Cas is warm and breathing deeply underneath him. Dean lifts his head up a bit and he can see that it's almost dark outside now. They've been sleeping for a few hours then. Dean's muscles are sore, but they're a good kind of sore. His thighs hurt more than anything, and that might have more to do with the way he's been sleeping rather than their scene.  
  
God, their scene was so amazing. Dean's never felt that high, it was just like flying, except not mind-numbingly terrifying. He'd do it again in a heartbeat. He hopes they can plan another scene to do soon. He has a feeling he has a new addiction coming on. Sex with Cas is like the best thing ever. But now, as he's laying here thinking about it, there's something else he wants to do too. He'd love to go out on a date with Cas. Like, a real date. With dinner. And drinks. you know... date-stuff. If he runs into any of his friends he'll just tell them. He's not gonna hide Cas from his family. He wants to show him off, actually. Though he doesn't know what everyone might think of him being 12 years older than Dean. That's okay though. He doesn't care. Cas is amazing.

Dean sits up a little and looks at Cas in the dusky light. His stubble is like blue shadows on his face, and his lashes seem longer and darker than they are. His hair seems raven-colored now. He looks ethereal and beautiful. It's not the first time Dean's thought of Cas as beautiful and it probably won't be the last. He's just so awesome. Dean can't get enough of him. Dean carefully slides off of Cas since his legs are starting to cramp and he lays beside him, nestled into the crook of his arm. Cas stirs a little and mumbles thickly, "Dean?"

"Still here," Dean says, looking up at him, smiling as Cas opens his eyes. He has that sleep-mussed look about him and he's kinda adorable with the way his face slowly stretches into a grin as he gazes at Dean.

"Hi, Cas." Dean leans up and kisses that grin right off Cas's face, loving the way his lips taste and how soft they feel.

"Hello, Dean."

"I love waking up next to you. It makes me very happy." Cas says and Dean feels heat rising to his cheeks but he doesn't look away from Cas.

"Me too." He says, and Cas's hand comes up for his thumb to rub Dean's cheekbone. He closes his eyes and leans into the touch.

**~**

They spend the next hour or so lounging in bed and talking. Dean hasn't felt so happy or calm in a long time.

"So, what? You've always had a thing about bees?"

"Yes, ever since I was small. I find them fascinating."

"Why?"

"Shall we rehash our original discussion about bees?" Dean has no idea what he's talking about for a second then it clicks. Oh yeah. In the cafe that day. He blushes as he thinks about it. That was when he first met Cas.

 

**~**

  
Later, Cas shows Dean how to make a weird stir-fry with some of his garden vegetables but it's absolutely delicious it and they devour it sitting at the bar, which has candles lit on it. The tangy, spicy, sauce tingles on Dean's tongue and makes their kisses weird and fiery but amazing, all the same.

**~**

When they cuddle up in bed after doing the dishes Cas puts on Deadpool, which Dean loves. When the sex scene comes on Cas nuzzles Dean's throat then bites at his ear, "The holiday-themed sex seems like a good idea..." He licks the shell of Dean's ear while his fingers play over the marks on Dean's throat, making them ache in that nice way. "All year round... Doesn't that seem like a good idea?"

"Can't say any kind of sex sounds bad with you, Cas."

That makes Cas pull away and give a full-bodied laugh, his head thrown back and his eyes closed. Dean watches with fascination. He's beautiful like that. He loves hearing him laugh.

~

They fall asleep curled up to next each other with chocolate-flavored kisses from Cas's bag of mini Hershey's bars that Cas had in the nightstand. Dean raided them. He had questions about why there was chocolate right by a bottle of lube and Cas had just winked and promised he'd show him later.

Dean looks forward to later.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, crap. Did I get smut in my fluff? Sorry? Hehehehehe
> 
> What'd ya think?!


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kk, hey guys! I promised a fluff piece, and I deliver since I interrupted my last one with smut. ;) Not that I heard any complaints about that.
> 
> Brief mentions of parental alcoholism/child abuse. Some anxiety. Just so you know. 
> 
> Addendum, Dean's weirdly afraid of bees in this. Idk why, but yeah. And I hope you like domestic bee-fluff and breakfast time because that's pretty much this chapter.

  
  
Castiel wakes to soft kisses along his jaw and the slight throbbing in his groin informs him that Dean's lips on him is a _fantastic_ way to make mornings bearable. Without opening his eyes he moves his right hand to rub at the back of Dean's neck, fingers raking through the soft hair there.

"Mornin', Cas," Dean murmurs roughly and Castiel opens his eyes, peeking out through his lashes for a moment. A sleep-mussed Dean is smiling softly down at him, golden bars of light slatting across his face from the morning sun shining through the blinds. The warm smile he gets when he cups the back of Dean's neck and pulls him down for a kiss makes his insides feel warm and soft.

"Good morning, baby boy," Castiel cradles Dean's face in his hand for a moment, looking at his boy. He looks happy and healthy and blushing. Castiel loves it. He can't really imagine it getting better than this. "Did you sleep well?" Castiel asks.

"Yeah. You?"

"Indeed." Cas rubs his nose against Dean's, who gives him a smile. A comfortable silence falls over them and Castiel muses about yesterday.

  
  
**~Dean~**   
  


  
Dean sits at the bar while Cas cooks breakfast. He had wanted to help but Cas had said that it was all part of the boyfriend package and he was going to make him breakfast. So he sits on the stool and watches Cas's muscles moving under his shirt as he fries bacon and throws an obscene amount of fresh vegetables into a pan with some eggs in it. The kitchen's bright and calm at ten o'clock in the morning and Dean likes the way it feels. It looks a helluva lot better than his house does, that's for sure. The thought is bad and Dean pushes it away and focuses back on Cas, who handles a spatula with expert skill.

"So, Dean, how was yesterday for you?" Cas asks casually and catches Dean by surprise. Does he even need to answer that question?

"It was awesome. I loved it," Dean replies easily. Cas turns around with an arched brow. "Was there anything you didn't enjoy or wish had been different?" _Does Cas?_

Dean hops down off the stool, his sweatpants and t-shirt lending their stretchy comfort to him as he does. He walks around the bar and hugs Cas around the waist, Dean's face pressing into his back, "Nope. Yesterday was perfect, Cas. I wouldn't change anything about it. You seem worried."

"I just want to make sure you're okay with it."

"Yeah, man. More than okay. I'm ecstatic," Dean pulls away and walks around Cas to lean against the counter by the stove, where eggs are burbling in the pan, "Yesterday, I mean, just scening and everything, it was... it was awesome! And I mean, if I did okay - if you want to - do you think we could - I mean would you wanna do it again?"

The last words come out in a rush and Dean looks away from Cas. He should've asked if Cas liked yesterday before saying that. Maybe Cas has been asking that because he didn't enjoy it. That would be a real kick in the balls considering yesterday was one of the best days of Dean's life. Maybe he messed up too many times with the title or something. He knows Cas was really sweet yesterday as Dean was coming down but maybe he didn't enjoy the scene. Aftercare like that could just be a mark of Cas being a good Dom. A soft hand on his cheek brings him back to reality. "Where did you go, baby boy?"

Dean looks up at Cas then back down. His thumb strokes across Dean's cheekbone in a reassuring gesture. "Was the sce- was the scene okay for you?" Dean asks quietly, trying to keep his voice from betraying his anxiety. Cas puts the spatula down on the counter and steps in front of Dean, placing both hands on his cheeks and looking him in the eyes.

"Our scene was beyond my wildest hopes. You were absolutely amazing, Dean. I'm so proud of you, and so pleased. You did so well for me. You were wonderful," Cas says the words with a quiet sincerity that Dean immediately believes despite his insecurities, "I would love to scene again. You were fantastic."  
  
Cas leans in and kisses Dean's lips softly, and Dean's eyes flutter shut against the onslaught of emotion welling in his chest. "Why're you so worried, sweet boy? You were amazing. Yesterday was amazing. Don't doubt that." Dean just shakes his head. Cas leans over and turns the burners on the stove off and moves the pans to the back burners. He comes back to standing in front of Dean and Dean looks up at him, biting his lip. Cas uses his thumb to pull his lip out from between his teeth and gazes at him with eyebrows drawn together. "What is it, Dean? What's wrong?"

"I don't... I don't know. I just - just wasn't sure if the scene was okay for you. I know I - I messed up a few times. I just didn't - d-didn't want - fuck." Dean curses and clamps his lips together. He hates when that happens. Cas looks down at him and Dean mentally cusses his thick, stupid tongue. Why can't he just say what he means? And Cas, fucking _amazing_ Cas, does the exact right thing. He wraps his arms around Dean and hugs him to his chest. "It's okay. I've got you. You don't need to worry."

Dean rubs his cheek against Cas's shirt and whispers, "Sorry."

Cas pets his hand over the back of Dean's head through his hair, "No, no. Don't apologize. I understand."

After Dean's calmed down some Cas kisses his forehead and pulls away far enough to look down at him, "Are you alright?"

Dean smiles faintly at him, "I guess. Sorry I'm so... weird."

Cas shakes his head, smiling, "You're not weird. You feel everything very strongly. In today's world that is a mark of a brave person, rather than a weak one. I admire you, Dean." _What?_ He's taken aback, to say the least.

"Why?" The word slips out in his surprise.

"Because to be so open to every emotion in such a harsh world is... commendable. People build walls and block themselves off from feeling things in an effort to protect themselves. You on the other, you - you open yourself up, taking in every situation wholeheartedly, even when it hurts you. I can't help but admire that bravery." Dean takes in Cas's serious expression and kind eyes and he can't help the pink stain rising to his cheeks. Nobody's ever said anything like that to him before. "I've never met anybody like you, you know that?"

"I should hope not. I like to think of myself as rather unique." Dean laughs at his dry tone and any residual tension from Dean's emo thing dissolves away. He feels lighter now, and way more at ease. He leans forward and hugs Cas again, breathing in the smell of his laundry detergent and the soap he used in the bath last night. The memory of the bath and what they did right before it has him swallowing around a lump in his throat as he pulls away again, their arms falling to their sides. That had been... an experience, to say the least. "Are you ready for food now? It's done."

"I'm always down for food," Dean says in absolute seriousness, making Cas laugh. "Go sit at the bar. I'll get your plate."

Dean thinks about saying something but he just huffs a small laugh and ambles over to the counter, hopping up on the stool again. He likes this one. The padding is cushier than the other one. He leans against the back of it and watches Cas dishing up his egg concoction and bacon on two plates. It smells really good, like bacon, mushrooms, eggs and green peppers and onions. His mouth is watering and his stomach rumbles audibly. It makes Cas chuckle as he turns around and gives Dean his plate over the bar, and sits his own on the lowered counter in front of Dean, standing as he begins to eat. Dean follows suit and forks some eggs up into his mouth and moans in bliss. He speaks around his food as politely as he can, "Fuck, Cas. 'S' good."

"I'm glad you like them."

They start eating in relative quiet except for the clinking of silverware and the sound of birds outside. It's another comfortable silence and Dean finds himself thinking about how often that happens to him. How often is he comfortable enough with someone to where he doesn't feel the need to fill the silence with chatter or jokes? Never. The only person he's ever this quiet with is Sam, and that's his baby brother who he's known his entire life.

How is it that someone he met ten damn days ago became so important to him? He honestly has no idea, and now that he thinks about it, he is kind of scared, but he's not going to give it up just because they're moving fast. Cas is the best thing to happen to him ever.

And best of all, it's not just that Cas is awesome, but he makes Dean want to be better. He's playing with the idea of going to the doctor and asking them about antidepressants or something. Doctors freak him out. He hates the sterile offices and the cold eyes of the bored nurses. He always feels so judged and unprepared for the things they ask. Other places are way easier. Like, going into stores and flirting with cashiers or whatever, that's easy. He's anonymous and he can be carefree and secure in the fact that nobody knows him and he doesn't have to worry. But at a hospital or something they have his entire history laid out on a piece of paper on a clipboard, his name and his date of birth and his father's drinking problem is all laid out neatly in the X-rays for broken bones placed in his file.

And they judge him.

That's what it feels like anyway. He doesn't like doctor's offices at all, but his mood swings haven't ever really been this bad, and he thinks it's because Cas makes him so happy. If he's just blah there's not much that changes, but Cas makes him really happy and it's apparently throwing his unbalanced brain out of whack because what happened a few minutes ago was ridiculous. He doesn't want Cas to have to deal with that. Maybe antidepressants would sort out his hormone issues if that's what it is. He's pretty sure that's what it is. It makes sense, really, but he's no doctor so who knows?

He really should try to take better care of himself. Look at Cas for Christ's sake, he's thirty-four and in excellent shape, physically and emotionally. He's like the most stable person Dean's ever met, which is the weirdest match for the emotional storm that he is. But he guesses it makes sense. What withstands storms? Rocks. Steady, immovable rocks. Dean rolls his eyes at himself and mentally groans. Did he seriously just compare Cas to a rock? _Wow._

"Dean?"

Dean's eyes snap up to Cas's and he realizes that he's probably been zoned out for a minute or two. "Yeah?"

"Are you alright? You stopped eating."

Dean shakes his head and stabs a piece of egg with his fork. "Yeah, I'm good. Just zoned out is all. This is seriously good, dude."

He shoves the eggs into his mouth so he can move on from that subject. Why does he keep doing that shit? It's not like he does it on purpose but it's like his brain just goes off on a tangent and the outside world becomes background noise. It's annoying and dangerous. Dean remembers the time he nearly caught the kitchen on fire when he went into his own little world while making homemade french fries. That had been great. Grease fires are fun. Jesus, he needs to go see a doctor. He's looking at his plate as he eats but he sees Cas move around the counter and come to stop in next to Dean. He struggles to snap out of the weird haze his brain keeps slipping back into and looks up at Cas, who is really close. Dean turns the spinning stool until he's facing Cas. He steps forward into the space between Dean's legs.

"Let me in that head of yours," Cas murmurs and caresses Dean's forehead with the backs of his fingers. Dean closes his eyes and squeezes them together before popping them open again. "I'm just thinking is all."

"About what?"

"Going to see a doctor..."

Cas's eyebrows raise and his eyes widen as he takes a minimal step forward, moving even further into Dean's space. "Are you hurt, Dean? Did I hurt you? I haven't noticed any-"

"No, no, no. I mean, uh... Like, for uh, antidepressants or something." He whispers very, very quietly, looking down at his hands in his lap, nervously picking at the skin around his thumb with the nail on his forefinger. A finger touches his chin and draws his face up until he's angled up to Cas's face, but Dean looks off to the side. He doesn't want to see judgment now in those blue eyes that are always so kind to him.

"Look at me, Dean," Cas says softly, without a hint of command. It's a request. And Dean does. His eyes slowly track the view from the wall over the stove through the empty air until he finds Cas's eyes. His still kind eyes. Cas has a small smile and he says, "I'm proud of you."

Relief makes the knot of tension in his chest unclench and he breathes a shaky sigh of relief. He can't even say thank you and he doesn't have the gumption to ask why when he already knows the answer, even if he wants to hear it. Then Cas does something that takes him by surprise. "Would you like me to go with you?"

"I, wait, uh... really?"

Cas nods firmly. "If you would like me to, I'd be more than happy to. If it's something you would rather do on your own then I completely understand. I just want you to know I'm here if you need me." Dean's first immediate thought following that sentence is _I need you, Cas. I need you more than I thought possible because you're the only person to make me feel like I am worth saving._

"I... If you're sure you want to... that would be, I mean, I want-"

"I'll go with you, baby boy. Don't worry." Cas kisses his forehead and Dean closes his eyes, breathing in his scent with a deep inhale. He smells faintly of sandalwood. Dean can barely remember his mom but he does remember her smell. She smelled like vanilla and sweet sandalwood. He's always loved the smell and it comforts him now as Cas wraps his arms around him.

"Thank you, Cas," Dean whispers and the response he gets is a soft, "Come here, sweet boy."

Dean immediately knows what Cas is talking about and he locks his arms around Cas's neck and Cas picks him up, fuck, he's strong, and sits him up on the counter. Dean's sitting a couple inches higher than Cas stands now and he finds the angle weird. He realizes that he likes being smaller than Cas; that it's comforting. That's ringing a bell of familiarity somewhere but he can't place what it's from. He decides to ignore it for now since Cas is leaning in to kiss him and Dean cups the back of his neck and pulls him closer as the lock lips. Cas swipes his tongue along Dean's bottom lip and he opens his mouth so Cas can plunge his tongue in. He tastes like spice and butter and it's not bad and Dean revels in the sensation until Cas flicks his tongue along the ridges across the roof of his mouth. He jerks away, laughing. "That tickles!"

He never thought he'd be saying that to his boyfriend at this age, but _okay then._ Cas smiles. "I know. That's why I did it. I like hearing you laugh. You have a beautiful smile."

Dean reflexively ducks his head and heat rises in his cheeks at the compliment and Cas asks, "What'd I say about hiding from me?"

Shit. "That I don't have to," Dean mumbles, "Sorry, it's just reflex at this point."

"I know. But I find it adorable." Dean rolls his eyes but likes the compliment regardless. "Are you sure you wanna go with me? I mean... it's a lot, you know?"

"I'd love to," Cas says quietly, and Dean believes him.

  
**~**

  
After they clean up the breakfast dishes, Cas goes to check his garden and look at his bees. Dean follows him down the path from the back porch and out into the wide space that makes up Cas's backyard and a literal field of flowers that he keeps for the bees.   
  
  
  
Or that's what he told Dean anyway. It's really beautiful. There's all different types of flowers everywhere and little things Cas used to decorate. He obviously takes a lot of pride in his work. Dean's been out here once already, and he saw the hives, but he chickened out from going near them. He's going to today though. Cas asked him. Dean kinda stops walking when he gets close enough that he can hear the buzzing.   
  
  
  
The beehives are in little boxes spread out all over a green field, an _acacia field_ , Cas said, with some saplings growing among them. Some of the boxes have yellow tops and some have blue. He doesn't know the difference and he doesn't want to ask Cas, really. Dean does stop walking when he gets within ten feet of it and Cas continues to the first hive without realizing Dean stopped. He's not exactly scared of bees, but only crazy people would walk right up to a hive, right? Isn't that like intrinsic to humans, to be like, afraid of bees? Cas doesn't even have that weird white suit on or anything, he's just in jeans and a t-shirt, looking all casual while he's a field surrounded by literally thousands upon thousands of bees.

"Ca-as?" He draws the word out, looking warily at the suspiciously cheerful little hives. Cas turns around and smiles when he sees Dean and extends his hand, "Come on, Dean. They won't hurt you if you intend them no harm. Besides, even if you get stung it won't kill you. It's estimated to take approximately 1,100 stings to be fatal."

"Uh... How many bees do you have?"

"In this field? A little over a million, approximately."

Dean feels a nervous sweat break out on his forehead at the numbers. Holy shit, that's a lot of bees. Cas is insane. Cas just smiles and walks back to Dean. "It's alright. They won't hurt you. I promise."

"How can you promise that? They're bees!"

"They're honey bees. They will only sting if they feel threatened," Cas smiles brightly, and says with a teasing tone, "Don't you trust me to protect you from the big, bad bees?"

"Oh, shut up," Dean huffs with a small laugh but he cuts his eyes to all the hives sitting there, buzzing placidly. "I'm not sure about this. They're used to you."

"Yes, and you're not going to hurt them. They'll know that. Come with me, baby boy. I promise it will be worth it. I want to show you something."

Despite the fast pace of his heart and his sweaty palms he hesitantly takes Cas's hand and lets him lead him towards the first hive. As they get closer the buzzing gets louder and Dean brings his right hand up to wipe his forehead since Cas has his left. He does not want to get attacked by a million bees.

"Okay. Wait right here," Cas squeezes his hand then drops it, and walks around the hive they stopped in front of. Dean could take about three steps and he'd be touching it. It's too close for his comfort but whatever. Cas starts murmuring softly as he does something on the front of it that Dean can't see, then he lifts up the top on it and leans it next to the stand. Dean expects a swarm of bees to come out and engulf Cas, but that doesn't happen. He flicks his eyes up to Dean and speaks a little louder, addressing him.   
  
"This is a Langstroth hive. I have different kinds all around the property, but these are the ones I gather honey from. The rest of the hives are naturally formed and I help where I can and study as much as possible. I'm writing a paper for a journal."

"Wow, Cas." He says softly, not wanting to speak too loudly in case he scares the bees. Cas warned him about that. If they perceive him as a threat they could attack. Dean doesn't like getting bee-stung. His boyfriend is so talented and smart. Unfortunately, he's also _insane._ Cas is placing his hand over top the hive and murmuring too low for Dean to here. He watches in horror as a few bees come out and start flying around Cas. Unlike normal human beings, Cas doesn't swat at them, only watches them weave around his head with a small smile, then he looks down and starts talking again. "I'm coaxing them from the hive."

"Why would you do that?" Dean practically whispers. Now that there are bees flying around he feels rooted to the spot, afraid to move. When did he get so scared of bees? Oh yeah, when he's surrounded by millions of them and there's a crazy person talking them out of a box. Is Cas a bee-charmer or something?   
  
"Come here, Dean," Cas calls softly and Dean swallows around the nervous lump in his throat, his heart thrumming in his chest. He's so gonna regret this. Dean pulls his foot from the concrete it's seeped in and steps forward. After the first step, he finds it a little easier to make the next one and the next one and then he's standing at the hive. He eyes the buzzing box with wide eyes and carefully slides in next to Cas, who has his hand out above the hive. His palm is cupped and there are three bees crawling over his skin. The thought makes Dean feel icky, but he's mesmerized by the awed look on Cas's face. He's smiling gently down at the bees, then he starts speaking quietly. "If you watch them long enough you can see how they communicate. They talk to each other through vibrations, body chemical signals, and dances."

"The bees dance?"

"Yes. They dance. It's really quite beautiful to watch. To me, anyhow. Not everyone feels the same."

Dean says nothing and watches the bees crawl around on Cas's palm and another flies and lands on his finger. "Dean, hold out your hand like I am."

He hesitantly complies, not knowing where this is going. He gasps when one lands on Cas's nose and he just smiles and speaks to them quietly. "This is my friend Dean. He won't harm you. He's here to see you."

Dean knows it's crazy, he knows it is, but he swears to God the bees seem to understand Cas. One of them pushes off Cas's hand and flies over to Dean's, circling before landing in his palm. Dean's heartbeat ratchets up. "Cas?"

"It's okay. She won't hurt you."

"She?" Dean whispers as he watches the bee crawl around in his hand. It actually doesn't feel as bad as he thought it would. "Yes, she. All worker honey bees are females. Males are only used for breeding."

"You're kidding," Dean says softly, bringing his hand a little closer to his face, watching the fuzzy little thing seem to inspect him. "No. They're very hard workers, but even so, a worker will generally only produce 1/12 of a teaspoon of honey in her lifetime. Two million flowers must be visited to produce one pound of honey."

"That's insane!" Dean exclaims and the fuzzy creature in his hand seems to look up at him. "Indeed. The phrase "busy as a bee" has meaning behind it. They're amazingly industrious creatures. And as I've said before, they follow instructions better than some humans do." Dean looks up and Cas winks, which makes Dean laugh. The bee in his hand takes flight suddenly and flies off, her wings beating insanely fast. He watches her with interest, his fear forgotten, as she flies over to a flower and lands on it to start investigating. Dean almost laughs at himself as he personifies the bee. Jeez. Cas has corrupted him already. He looks over at Cas and his eyes widen when he counts seven, yes, seven!, bees on Cas's hand, and two on his face, all crawling around.

"Do they always do that?"

"When they're happy to see me," Cas replies and Dean blinks. Okay then.  
  
  
 **~**  
  


They spend a good two hours going between hives, Cas collecting honey from some of them. Dean does stand back for that but he watches with avid interest from a few feet away. The way Cas talks to the bees makes him think of the way he talks to him after sex. He's all sweet and gentle, but firm and steady. It's a little weird but mesmerizing and if that doesn't describe Cas as a person nothing does. Dean's utterly entranced with the way the bees seem to love him. And they're gentle! It's really kind of weird, but the more he learns about them the more he feels sorry for them. Maybe he should get some flowers or something for his house. Just kinda do his part.

After the last hive is visited the go inside for lunch and Dean wants to take a shower. He's all hot and sweaty from standing out under the sun for the last two hours. He tries to talk Cas into taking one with him but he firmly says no, and Dean pouts. He perks up when Cas says he has a surprise for him. He wonders what it is and his mind runs over all the possibilities as he soaps up his body and rinses off. Maybe it's something related to their 'playing.' Maybe it's something for a date. Who knows with Cas.  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Said it once, I'll say it again, I know shiz-all about apiology and I did a mother-effing-ton of Googling for this chapter lol. I learned a lot about honey bees! Things I didn't wanna know. Like honey bees have a separate stomach where they tore nectar then they regurgitate it to make honey. Yeah. Yummy, huh? Bleck. 
> 
> Anyways, hope y'all enjoyed some fluff with a bit of plot-driving in it!
> 
> Tell me what you think, I'm always overjoyed to hear from you guys!


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys! Sorry it's been so long, but I've been working on a new fic and got a bit distracted! 
> 
> Possible TW: Bit of angst, and some possibly triggering thoughts, mostly Dean's self-hate. However, there is definitely plenty of fluff and some DEFINITE hurt/comfort. Cas takes care of our boy. :)
> 
> Shoutout to sometimeiwritespn for her help most recently, and for inspiring me to write this particular scene since she loved the chapter where Dean dropped so much. I hope you like this one too, hon!
> 
> UnfortunatelyObsessed, I delivered more fluff. :D SEE?! I'm a good person that doesn't torture my friends!!! LMAO
> 
> supernatural_sexpistol, I promise there will be more sexing soon, Miss Impatient. LMAO, love ya bish.

  
Dean comes out of the steamy bathroom and welcomes the cool blast of air conditioning on his hot skin. There's nothing better than a hot shower and then walking out into a cool room. _Well..._ maybe a couple of things, Dean thinks with a smirk as he throws his dirty clothes in his bag. He's dressed in another pair of sweatpants and an ACDC t-shirt since he plans on being lazy today. His right hip twinges a little as he sits down on the bed to rifle through his duffle bag. He's not used to the stretching he did yesterday, but it's not bad.

As he slides his bag in between his feet it hits something under the bed. Dean bends and looks and sees a cardboard box with a lid sticking out from under the blanket a bit. He just shoves it back under, gently, in case it's something breakable, and starts pawing through his clothes. He's looking for -ah ha! There it is.

Dean grabs his toothbrush and the mostly used tube of paste and hustles back to the bathroom to brush his teeth. The minty freshness makes him feel rejuvenated and when he throws them back in his bag he's smiling. His toothpaste bounces out though and tumbles under the bed. Dean sighs and gets down on his knees to grab it, sticking his right arm under. His fingers brush something round and smooth and he pulls it out. Dean stares down at it. Perplexed. It's... a pacifier? It's pink and has a faded purple H written in a curly-cue script on the front part. It's covered in a fine layer of dust. Does Cas... have a kid? Dean's stomach drops and he feels himself still. Surely Cas would have _told him_ if he had a kid.

"Cas?" He calls in a loud voice and locates his toothpaste with blind hands, not paying a bit of attention as he shoves it in his bag, still staring at the pacifier in his hand. Isn't it a little big for a baby? Dean doesn't know. He barely remembers Sam using a pacifier, the kid always had his thumb in his mouth back then.

"Be right there," Cas calls through the house and Dean feels his heart start to race.

So what if Cas has a kid? It doesn't matter. He just never mentioned it or anything. You know, so there's that. Maybe he was just waiting for the right time? Or maybe he didn't want Dean to know. Maybe he didn't think Dean should know. There's a growing pit of dread in his stomach. That's gotta be something you tell somebody right? Like, you date somebody you tell them you have kids, that's just how it works. Unless... No. They're boyfriends. Or Cas said they were. Fuck, he's psyching himself out over this. Shit, should he even tell Cas he found it? What if he's mad? What if he thinks Dean was snooping or something and gets angry with him. No. _Nope._  
  
Dean shakes his head as he pushes on the bed to stand up then sit down on the cover. He's not going to lie to Cas and Dean knows if he doesn't say anything it's just going to eat him alive. Cas's footsteps start coming down the hallway and Dean looks up at the doorway until he appears, clutching the pacifier in his fist. Cas walks over and sits on the bed, carrying his phone in hand. He kisses Dean on the cheek and gives him a bright smile, and Dean gives a strained semblance of one in return.

"Uh, Cas?" Cas sits back on the bed and eyes him critically, then his eyebrows scrunch in concern. "Are you okay? You seem upset."

"I um, I found - I found something... uh, under your bed," Dean admits with a guilty look over at Cas, whose face is calm and curious. "What did you find?"

"I um... well..." Dean opens his left hand and brings it over to Cas, opening his fist to show him the pink thing in his hand. Cas's eyes track the movement and they soften as he takes in the pacifier. He picks it up out of Dean's palm almost reverently and smiles at it. "Thank you, Dean. I wondered where it went."

"Umm," Dean looks at Cas with confusion plastered on his face, but Cas isn't paying attention. He's looking at the pacifier with a fond look that kinda makes Dean sick to his stomach. Well, no, it's not the look that has his stomach roiling around like an ocean storm. _Uhh, okay._ So Cas doesn't want to tell him. Okay...  
  
Maybe a lot of all this affection and everything is all on Dean's side. If he's not even going to explain why the fuck Dean found a pacifier under his bed, he guesses that he's not all that important. Dean shouldn't be wondering apparently. He just feels... He doesn't even know. They haven't known each other that long, after all. But still, shouldn't Dean know about it? Like... that seems important. But apparently not. The sickening pit of hurt in his stomach makes him want to curl up. He hates how sensitive he is but at the same time he can't hide it, or change it. Jesus, why does Cas even want to put up with this? Put up with him? It's ridiculous, and he knows that. If Cas doesn't want to tell him that's fine. It shouldn't be that big of a deal! Dean's just going to have to reign in his own feelings for the man. If he can... Cas's voice interrupts his haze and he realizes Cas is kneeling in front of him on the floor, hands on Dean's thighs. They come up to cup his face and Cas's eyes are wide and kind.

"Please stop. I'm sorry, Dean. No. I... It's not what you're thinking."

"How d'you know what I'm thinking, Cas?" Dean murmurs, looking down at him. Cas gives him a small smile in return. "Because your face cannot hide your emotions even when you try to. I don't have a child. If I did, I would've told you, I promise."

"Then - then where did the pacifier come from?" Is Dean crazy or something? Cas's hands fall back to Dean's thighs and he says, "Remember when we talked about age-play when we were negotiating the terms?"

At Dean's nod, Cas continues. "I've had experience in it. The pacifier belonged to one of my previous subs Hannah. I bought it especially for her, and in the midst of a tantrum, we lost it. I swear I looked under the bed, but I didn't find it. It was very special to her. I'd like to clean it and send it to her, actually."

Dean's heart softens at the way Cas talks about Hannah. He's so kind, even though they're not together now. The thought has something beating away in the back of his mind about Cas talking about him like that someday but he doesn't want to listen to it. "But Dean, I would never hide that from you. I know what you were thinking, baby boy, and I would never. You're so much more important to me than that."

"Sorry. I just... You know how I am. I naturally assume the worst, and that makes it sound so bad. I don't mean to be that way... I just... I don't-"

"You always think the worst of yourself, Dean." Cas presses his left hand to Dean's cheek and Dean lays his palm against Cas's hands, pressing it into his cheek and leaning into the warmth of it, his eyes fluttering closed. "I know. I'm sorry."

"No, no. Don't apologize. I should've told you immediately. It's a natural assumption that a pacifier is for a child, so it's only fair that you assumed that. I will ask though, why were you under my bed?"

Dean's eyes pop open and Cas's hand falls away. He hastens to explain, "My toothpaste fell out of my bag and I was feeling around for it. I didn't mean to snoop, I promise. I thought it was the tube and-" Dean begins to babble and Cas takes Dean's face is hands, forcing his eyes to meet his.

"Dean, calm down. It's alright. I'm not upset, just curious. It's okay." Cas says the words with a calm conviction and the knot of anxiety in his chest releases a little. "Fuck. I'm sorry for all this, Cas. It's ridiculous. _I'm_ ridiculous."

Cas sighs and sits back on his heels, his hands falling to his own thighs and Dean's heart constricts a little. He didn't realize until this moment just how much he wants, no, he needs, Castiel to dispute that. He's the only one that ever has. Dean doesn't say it for attention or anything like that, he just didn't realize how much he relies on Cas to tell him he's wrong. That those things aren't true. His chest hurts. Cas believes... No. Dean can't. He pulls away from Cas and lays back on the bed, curling over onto his left side, bringing his knees up to his chest almost, and bringing his right hand to his mouth, rubbing the knuckle of his thumb across his bottom lip. It's something that's always calmed him down. The bed dips behind him as Cas crawls in and lays behind him, wrapping his right arm around Dean's waist in a secure, firm hold. "Stop thinking whatever it is you're thinking. I can guarantee it isn't true."

Dean shudders and the large blanket of heat on his back from Cas's body feels nice.

"Tell me what's going through your head. I'm here, Dean. I'm here," He feels tears prick at his eyes and he closes them, squeezing them shut. " I, I just - you - I can't take you believing those things too. I can't. It hurts."

"I swear to you, I don't... When I look at you, do you know what I see?" Cas murmurs in his ear and Dean shakes his head, shoving his face into the soft blankets and exhaling hot breath into them.

"I see someone who is kind, and generous. Someone that lives in an emotional storm and is still standing. I see someone that's strong. Someone who's brave, and smart, and caring. Who's sweet, and adorable, and endearingly sensitive. I see someone that think the very worst of himself when it isn't true at all. I see someone that I'm proud to call my boyfriend. I see you, Dean. And I'm right here. Do you understand?" Cas grips him tighter around his middle, dragging Dean even closer and now they're flush against each other from shoulders to calves, "I'm right here."

"Cas," Dean whispers in a broken plea and his right hand comes back over his shoulder to grab the nape of Cas's neck, pulling him as close as he can get. "That's right. I'm right here."

"I'm sorry I'm so messed up," Dean whispers and in his secret heart of hearts, he lets out a grateful sigh when Cas doesn't believe a word of it. A tiny voice rejoices, maybe he is worthy of saving. Cas's breath exhales onto Dean's neck and he feels the softest brush of lips against his hair. "You're not messed up. You've been dealt a bad hand, is all. I promise I'll be here every step of the way to get you healthy and to where you want to be. If you want me to be, that is."

Cas sounds surprisingly vulnerable and questioning with that statement. Does he seriously doubt that Dean wants him around? Dean turns his head to where he can crane his eyes to look at Cas.

"I want you to be here," Dean whispers, and Cas smiles at him before leaning down to brush their lips together. It's chaste, but brimming with emotions and words unspoken, but ones that don't necessarily need to be said. They're not pressing against barriers trying to escape. They're simply rolling around, soaking in sensations and making themselves known. All their unspoken words and promises and secret desires are felt, not spoken. But they don't need to be. Dean feels them fluttering underneath his ribs, and he knows they're real. Now just isn't the time to say them. The pull away and share a warm breath between them before returning to their previous position, Cas nuzzling into Dean's short hair and seeming to breathe in his scent. Dean shoves his face into the bed, leaving his nose free so he can breathe and grabs Cas's wrist, securing its position over his stomach.

"I don't... I don't want..." Dean can't say it. He can't. "I'm not going anywhere, Dean. Can I show you something?"

"I guess."

Cas's arm pulls away from his stomach and Dean misses the security immediately. When his arm comes back he's holding his phone, and he's unlocking it. "This is what I wanted to show you earlier."

On the phone, a webpage pops up. It's full of pictures of collars! There are all different kinds and styles and looking at them make Dean's heart race in the good way. "Cas?"

"I told you I wanted to get you a collar. I want you to help me design it, and we'll order it. It will be yours. I want you to be mine. If you'd like to be, Dean."

Dean turns his head and finds a hopeful look on Cas's face, and like he would ever say no to that, anyway.

"Of course I do," Dean whispers and leans in and brushes Cas's lips to his. This time it's not so chaste and Cas's tongue traces his bottom lip, making Dean tingle. When they pull away Dean can't help but be overwhelmed by the emotion in Cas's eyes. "Are... Are you sure you want me? I mean, collaring is a big deal, isn't it?"

"Very. But that's why part of the reason why I want to get you a collar, Dean. You'll know that-" Cas nuzzles against his neck, scraping teeth gently down his skin, "That you're mine... That you're wanted."

He presses a kiss behind Dean's ear, and he shivers. "That you're desired. And valued."

Teeth nip the shell of his ear and Dean leans back into Cas, relaxing into the warm words and strong body behind him. "I endeavor to show you those things, but a physical reminder of it can be a wonderful way to remember. I want you to be mine, Dean. Ever since I first laid eyes on you I knew I wanted you to be mine and now here we are. So what do you say, baby boy? Do you want to help me pick out your collar?"

"Yes," Dean breathes without hesitation. Cas's words made his chest feel achy and gooey in a good way and he wants nothing more than to just melt into his boyfriend's arms. So he does. They scroll through numerous options, taking almost an hour to finally get what they want. It's really nice, just laying in Cas's arms like that. They decided that it'll be a soft brown leather with deep green accents braided around it. They also chose a dark blue gem to go in the center where it'll rest against his throat since neither of them wanted an O ring on it. Dean's very happy about the idea, happier than he thought he'd be actually. It'll be several weeks before they receive it, so that's plenty of time in case... Well, just in case. Dean's still not positive that he's not too much trouble for Cas to deal with, but Cas, being the angel he is, continually reassures Dean of the exact opposite. That he is worth it.

At about one Dean starts yawning and his stomach rumbles. He doesn't feel like moving though. Sunlight is streaming in through the wooden slat shades on the window across the bed in wide lines and Cas is wrapped around him, making him feel cozy and warm in the little haven of Cas's bedroom. Dean grabs Cas's pillow from the top of the bed and brings it to his chest, turning his body just so he can wrap his arm around it and stick his face on it. It smells like Cas, who chuckles rubs his nose against the back of Dean's neck, still tucked in close behind him.

"You're adorable, you know that?"

"I'd like to think so." Dean murmurs into the soft fabric, his body heavy and his eyelids struggling to remain open. Soft butterfly kisses against the nape of his neck lull him deeper into his sleep haze, and he feels good. "You should think that, Dean. You're wonderful." Dean's mind rejects that but he doesn't say anything audibly except for, "Sleepy, Cas. Sorry."

"Sleep. You need to rest after yesterday."

"Mmm," Dean mumbles inaudibly and floats for a while. He's not sure exactly when he falls asleep, but it feels good.

  
  
**~Castiel~**

  
  
He cradles Dean against his body, breathing against the back of his neck and inhaling Dean's scent on every intake of breath. Yesterday may've been too much for Dean. The scene was fantastic, but today Dean's emotions have been all over the place. Not that Castiel minds it. He loves comforting Dean, and he loves being needed, and he loves being the one to help Dean when he needs it, but he also hates the necessity for it. The intimacy is nice, the vulnerability is wonderful and Castiel enjoys it. He enjoys being with Dean in this way. But Dean does not seem healthy.

His emotions are very unstable, most likely because of his hormones. Last night he was exposed to an increased level of endorphins and serotonin. The spike was too big, Castiel thinks, and now Dean's brain is reeling, saturated with hormones and his brain releases more chemicals to try to counteract it in an endless cycle. One thing Castiel does know, he needs to research, and Dean needs to go to the doctor. And he also needs to make sure that he's content and as safe and happy he can be. Castiel has a feeling that this won't be the only fallout, but he's not sure. Is there no one in Dean's life that ever took notice of Dean's problems? He's spoken a little about his younger brother Sam, and some about his mother and father. John is a harsh subject, Castiel didn't get much more than a sentence about him.

They still need to spend much more time getting to know one another. He knows they rushed into this, all his experience is telling him that, but everything feels so right with Dean. They have a connection he can't deny. A unique bond. It's not something he's ever experienced before, with anyone, not even his first Doms, or any of his subs. It's a relationship that has been specifically for Dean Winchester, and Dean only. He's not sure how he feels about that besides pleased. Perhaps he should be scared, or at least cautious, but he can't find it in him to be either of those things. He's merely happy. Dean is so unlike anyone he's ever met. Castiel is unsure of how to deal with that, but it's alright. He's willing to go along with it and see where it leads. He hopes it doesn't end in hurt for either of them, because if Castiel's being honest he's already in deep and he knows it.

He wouldn't want Dean to be gone from his life even if their sexual relationship came to an end. He's wonderful to be around, he brings a joy and an innocence to life that isn't often found outside of children. He's so very open and vulnerable, and yet tries so hard to appear the opposite. But Castiel sees through it, and he loves it. The trust they both have in the other is a little overwhelming, but it doesn't feel wrong, and he's not worried. He would never intentionally hurt Dean and he'll do everything in his power to never unintentionally hurt him. He knows things happen and people will say things that hurt the other but Castiel endeavors to always let Dean know he does not mean him any harm. He deserves all the good things that Castiel can supply him. And he's happy to do that.

Castiel sighs contentedly and nuzzles his boy's hair with his nose. Dean murmurs softly and pushes back into Castiel's embrace, snuggling closer. Castiel smiles against the soft brown hair at his face and hugs him tight, closing his eyes and relaxing his body. He's not tired but he'll lay here with Dean and enjoy the intimate moment for what it is. This is just as good as the sex last night was, for him anyway. He never expected to feel that way, but he does. And he revels in it. All these emotions, all these feelings, they're not exactly foreign, but they're near forgotten. Everything is already so intense... Castiel falls dozes with a smile on his face as he continues to think. He wakes again when Dean rolls over and plasters himself over Castiel, pushing him flat onto the bed on his back. Dean throws his leg over Castiel's and his arm over his chest. Then he buries his face in Castiel's throat, murmuring, "Cas... warm. _Mmmm."_

He hums lightly and his breathing evens back out into the deep, slow breaths Castiel has become accustomed to hearing when Dean's sleeping. He smiles and runs his fingers through Dean's hair. Even though he's slightly uncomfortable with his legs hanging off the bed, he's happy to be here with Dean like this. He wouldn't change it. He needs to tell Dean that when he wakes up. Castiel stretches his legs out, arching against the bed and Dean mumbles, sounding more awake this time, "No, don't go. Need you, Cas... Stay."

Castiel settles back against the mattress, adjusting his position a little more on his side, curving towards Dean and he strokes his hand over his face.

"I'm here, Dean. I'm right here," He murmurs, smiling. His heart melts at Dean's soft reply, "'Kay. Love you."

Then he's breathing deeply again, asleep once more.

"And I you, Dean. _And I you."_ He presses a soft kiss to Dean's temple, musing.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, I've said it before and I'll say it again. I KNOW Dean is super emotional in this, but I promise I'm A. Doing it for a reason, and B. basing it off facts. Dean's emotional rollercoaster in this chapter is based off my own experiences and what my doctor tells me goes on with me. The emotions he experiences, the way he experiences them, are based off my own thought processes and I do not feel an ounce of shame for "Mary Suing" it. Nor will I. These things need to be talked about and normalized. One of my now dear friends did not know that this was a thing, and she commented and told me she thought she was just fucked up. NO. You are not, nor is anyone who suffers from these type of things. Also, I just want to point out, knowledge and awareness about mental health is so SO important!
> 
> (Thank you SO SO MUCH PetticoatedSwashbuckler for your endless support and reassurance on that front! I endeavor to be as helpful and amazing as you with these issues! Thank you for having so much patience with me. You do not know how dearly it is appreciated.)
> 
> This is a kink fic, and that's not going to change. However, it's also about emotions and feelings and all the things that this was never originally intended to be. Now, because of the research for this fic, I'm exploring aspects of myself that I didn't know existed. I endeavor to portray and normalize a genuinely healthy, caring relationship with someone that suffers in the way that Dean does. I wish I had a Cas, lemme tell you. I will do my very best to live up to what I just said, and please, if there's anything you think I should address, or need to, let me know and I will do my very best to accommodate. (Please be kind, however. I am indeed as sensitive as Dean most generally.)
> 
> ALSO, guys, PLEASE. If any of you, and I do mean ANY of you, are ever in a bad place, or you need a friend, or you'd just like to chat with me (about anything in the world), please feel free to message me on my Tumblr. I'm severelyoptimistickitty and my picture is a panda. I'm easy to find. I've made several friends in the writing of this fic, friends that I adore and cherish, and y'all know who you are! And I'd love to gain some more. So please, if you ever need anything, feel free to message me. I'd welcome it. :)
> 
> I love you guys for reading and I hope you'll be patient with me in the next few weeks as I'm juggling five WIPs right now, two unpublished, not to mention my own life, which has descended into madness once again. *sigh*
> 
> I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this chapter, so please feel free to leave a comment. I adore the feedback.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IF YOU ARE SQUICKED EASILY: Please review the bottom notes (SPOILER ALERTS) before reading. NO trigger warnings, it just might gross some of y'all out. It read HAWT to me, but everybody's different.
> 
> THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED to Supernatural_sexpistol since she consistently begged, loitered, annoyed, harassed and otherwise hounded me about bringing our boys to "poundtown" so here ya go! You're welcome, bish. :P Hope you get to feeling better. <3 
> 
> Also, big thanks to utterxnfatuation, even though she doesn't read my fics, because I was road-blocked on this fic up until about 8 O'clock last night, and everything from the panties scene down to the bottom was written in that time. It's thanks to her poetic style that I was able to write this. ALSO THOUGH, I blame her for the part that might squick y'all cuz she totally planted that idea with her beautiful fic.
> 
> UnfortunatelyObsessed, hope you liked the panties hon. You got to see them preemptively, so I hoped they lived up to their glory and majesty! <3

  
Dean's eyes flutter open and he realizes he's curled around Cas, who's sleeping deeply by the looks of it. Deep orange light from a blazing sunset is filtering through the window creating a lazy, sleep-hazed, heavy atmosphere and he realizes that they've slept several hours at least. They must've been more tired than they thought. And Dean has a delicious idea. He slowly, very slowly, crawls out of bed, making sure not to disturb Cas at all. Dean has a plan. He sneaks off into the bathroom where he washes up and does a very thorough cleaning. He takes his time getting clean, though he will admit, it's the fastest enema he's ever done.

He hates the feeling, but he loves having Cas's cock inside him, so it kinda makes up for it. Once he's done and he's all scrubbed and shiny and smelling enticing, he hopes, he sneaks back towards the bed. He carefully eases out of his pants and tears his t-shirt off. He squats down and starts digging through his duffel bag as quietly as he can. What he wants is at the bottom. He finds them and almost lets out an excited whoop before he remembers he's supposed to be being quiet. He slides on the ruffled, bright blue boy shorts, enjoying the way the lace feels against his skin. God, these always make him feel so sexy. The best thing about these is that they're assless. They leave part of his cheeks and his hole exposed which means he can wear them while Cas fucks him. He kinda has a thing for the cute little bow sitting on the front of the waistband.  
  
They make him feel cute. He pulls the bottle of lube out of the drawer on the nightstand, throwing it on the bed by the pillows. Since they were sleeping on the bed sideways, Cas's feet are dangling off.

Dean, clothed in his pretty blue panties, and _only them,_ climbs up on top of Cas, settling his ass above Cas's crotch. Cas groans and shifts in his sleep. His eyes open slowly and he smiles at Dean, his stubble making him look sexy and fucked-out for some reason. He raises his head, looking all the way down to where their bodies meet and he throws head back against the mattress, eyeing Dean with a lazy smirk. "Hmm... pretty panties. Fuck, I love you in those. What're you doing, baby boy?"

Dean grinds his ass against Cas's crotch, loving how he's affecting the older man, especially when he gets a sharp gasp. "Mmm, I thought I'd ride you... Sir."

The word seems to have Cas's gaze sharpening and he asks seriously, "Are you wanting to initiate a spontaneous scene, Dean? Just to clarify."

"Would that be okay?" He hopes it's a yes. He's going to do better with the title this time. He doesn't want to screw up like last time. He can be good for Cas.

"If that's what you want then yes."

"Then yes, Sir... Circus."

Cas grins underneath him. "Circus," He relays then adds, "Hmm, are you clean, baby boy?"

Dean places his hands on Cas's shoulders as his hands come to rest on Dean's hips. "Yes, Sir. I'm very clean. I wanted to surprise you."

"Hmm," Cas hums, looking thoughtful. "My boy snuck away and cleaned himself up, did he? Did you do that for me?"At Dean's nod, he continues, fingering the waistband of Dean's panties. "And these? Are these for me too?"

"Yes, Sir. I wanted to wear them just for you. I wanted to surprise you."

Cas's hands come around to squeeze his ass cheeks and Dean gasps as Cas's eyes widen. "Hmm... Assless, huh? That's good. That's such a good boy, Dean, wanting to surprise me. Being quiet and not waking me up to get yourself clean for me. That was very thoughtful of you. I love this surprise. Did you prep yourself as well?"

Dean blushes under Cas's scrutinizing eyes and ducks his head, "No... No, Sir. I - I wanted you to do it."

Cas just hums, "Hmm, and why is that exactly?" His eyes soften when he sees how Dean's reacting and a hand comes up to Dean's chin, urging him to meet Cas's eyes. "I'm just curious."

His hands come back to rub circles against Dean's bare hip bones and he has to resist the urge to grind against his thumbs. "I wanted you to do it, Sir. It feels so much better when you do it. And... And I know you like it. I wanted this to be good for you too."

"It's always good for me when it's with you, sweet boy. And you're right, I love having you begging on my fingers. We'll need the lube. After all, gay sex always is so glamorous."

Dean outright laughs at his dry tone and grabs the half-empty bottle from his side and presses it into Cas's hand. Cas looks up at him with an eyebrow quirked. "You really thought this out didn't you?"

Dean nods shyly, splaying his hands across Cas's abdomen. "What a good boy you are. So thoughtful and sweet, preparing everything."

Dean shudders under the praise, loving the fluttery feeling it has settling under his ribs. He likes being good for Cas. He's a good boy. Cas runs his hand down Dean's back and he loves how warm Cas feels compared to his chilled skin. Hopefully, he won't be chilled for long. He plans on getting hot and sweaty here soon. Cas's hand slides over the waistband of his panties and along his cheek, squeezing lightly. When a finger brushes against his dry hole Dean's hips jump and he bites his lip, looking down at Cas who's smirking up at him, continuing to tease his hole with little pushes.

"Mmm," Dean gives a soft moan and Cas grins before pulling his hand away, making Dean pout. "This position isn't the best for prep, you know that?"

Dean smiles. "Did you have something better in mind, Sir?"

"Indeed. I want you exactly like this, except..." Cas turns his pointer finger lazily in a circular motion in the air. Dean gulps. He hesitantly turns around in Cas's lap until he's facing the bedroom door and his ass is in Cas's face. Despite everything they've done, this feels like the most vulnerable he's been. "Hmm... Dean?"

"Yeah - Yes, Sir?" He corrects himself, looking back over his shoulder at his smirking boyfriend. "Do you remember how we started our scene last time?"

"Uh, yeah... Oh," Dean breathes, the connection clicking in his brain, "Yes, Sir. Please, can I?" He's not entirely sure where that came from, but it felt right to ask and apparently it was the right thing to say because Cas groans and says, "Fuck. Yes. Suck me, baby boy. I'm going to have you quivering with need by the time I'm done with you."

"I hope so, Sir," Dean quips back and gasps and rocks forward when a hand lands on his ass with a loud _c_ _rack!_ surely-to-God leaving a red handprint on his ass cheek. It stings like crazy but he relishes it. Fuck, he never thought he'd like spanking so much. He whines and looks back at Cas who has his Dom-brow going on and Dean gulps. "Mmm, my sassy boy likes that, doesn't he? Don't you, Dean? Tell me."

"Yes, Sir. I like it," Dean manages to choke out. _God,_ Cas is sexy. Dean turns his attention back to working on Cas's pants, pulling them down and shoving them off his legs onto the floor even though he knows Cas'll complain about it later.

  
**~**

  
Dean keens and has to pull off Cas's spit-shiny cock and throw his head back with a moan, rocking his hips back against Cas's face, which lasts all of two seconds before iron hands and steel fingers clamp down on his hips and make him still, but God, he wishes he could fuck himself back against that tongue. Cas's tongue is literally one of the best things he's ever experienced, and fuck, that man is skilled. He'd started out with kitten licks, just small little nudges at his hole and Dean thought that'd be about as good as it got, but he should've known his kink-master of a boyfriend would never stay with something so vanilla. No, instead, he's been shoving his tongue inside, Dean's hole now wet and sloppy and open with saliva and fucking aching to be filled. Cas has been toying with him for at least twenty goddamn minutes and Dean is so _beyond_ ready to be fucked.

"Stay still," He orders, the command rough and deep and _gritty_ with a sex-induced deepness and Dean obeys, freezing as Cas lets go of his hips. Two thumbs plunge into his hole and tug on his rim, opening him up to Cas's mouth and Dean groans at the drag of stubble on his cheeks and then his heart stops. Cas thrusts his tongue into Dean's hole in between his thumbs and curls it upward, teasing at his rim and Dean's mouth drops open, uncaring of how he looks.

"Sir," He whines, then nearly shrieks when Cas's thumbs plunge deeper, pulling him open wider and stretching his hole open for Cas's use. Dean's teeth dig into his bottom lip and he closes his eyes, bowing his head down and resting it on Cas's thigh, trying not to rock his hips back into the unimaginable pleasure. He'd never known sex could be this good, _holy fuck._ When Cas pulls his face away, he leaves his thumbs in, gently stretching Dean's hole and thrusting in and out slowly, using his spit as lube and fuck, if that friction isn't doing amazing things for Dean's panty-prisoned cock.  
  
"Mmm, you taste so good, baby boy. I think you're ready for me. Do you want me?"

"Fuck, yes! Of course I do, Sir. Please. Please, I need you, Sir. I wanna be fu-ull!" The last sentence turns into a squeak when he feels Cas's pointer finger join his thumb, creating a wedge-shape and Dean cries out at the thickness, wishing to everything holy, or _unholy,_ rather, that it was Cas's cock filling him up not his fingers.

"That's my baby boy. So good begging for me," Cas says, lazy arousal and notable pride evident in his voice as he pulls his fingers from Dean, "Turn around for me."

Dean complies immediately, being careful not to knee Cas or anything and the next thing he knows is he's straddling his abdomen, Cas's cock twitching and hitting his ass every few seconds.

"Lube first," Cas reminds and Dean hears the click of the cap but can't actually see Cas's hands since they're behind his back. Then lube-wet fingers are slicking up his hole, making him bite his lip as he looks down at all of Cas's sexy, dark stubble, and bright eyes. He leans down as Cas's fingers plunge into his hole and he kisses those plump pink lips, licking them open and thrusting his tongue inside with the same rhythm that Cas is using with his fingers and Cas groans into his mouth. Cas's left hand slides up his side and into Dean's hair, pulling his head back forcefully and Cas attacks his throat, licking and sucking along his stubbled jaw, then biting at the meaty connection between his shoulder and his neck and Dean moans, trembling under Cas's ministrations.

As Cas prepares him to take his cock, which he is way beyond ready for at this point, he sucks marks onto Dean's throat. They're high up, easy for anyone to see and Dean kind of loves it. He's being marked. He's Cas's. Cas uses his teeth to nibble at the skin as he sucks, making the marks darker and sting more sharply. He whimpers as Cas's sucks one right under his Adam's apple and his boyfriend pulls away with red lips and a satisfied grin that Dean quickly attacks with his mouth. He's been wanting to kiss those pink apricot-chapped lips since they started this and he's damn well going to do it now while he can still think. Cas's hand loosens from his hair and his fingers slip out of Dean's ass and both hands come to grip Dean's hips, tender from their earlier treatment. He pulls away and Cas whispers, "It's time."

Dean agrees wholeheartedly and sits up, his back curving and pressing his chest forward for a moment before sliding backward with Cas's guidance. Without being asked, Dean looks back at Cas and waits expectantly. The flash of surprise on Cas's face is palpable and makes him feel proud when Cas's breath hitches at his submission. "Take my cock in your hand and guide me inside, Dean. I can't wait to feel you, baby boy."

Dean reaches back behind him and finds Cas's lube-coated cock standing at full attention, hard and heavy and Dean literally cannot wait to be speared open by it. He adjusts himself a little and then rubs the tip of Cas's cock against his hole, which tries to draw him in. Catching the flash of the 'Don't tease the wolf, boy' look in Cas's eyes, he directs his cock against, and then into his hole. The tip slides in, and Dean groans, letting go of Cas's erection and placing both hands on Cas's chest. "Sit back on my thighs, Dean. All the way."

Dean opens his eyes and looks down at Cas for a moment, feeling like king of the world, and then lowers himself backward. Inch by inch, Cas's thick cock fills him up and the only sound in the room is Dean's panting and Cas's quiet groan when Dean's ass settles firmly against his legs. God, it feels so deep this way. He looks up at Cas, not missing the affection in that gaze, and ever so slowly grinds his hips in a dirty circle that makes Cas grab his hips again. And why the fuck is Cas still in a t-shirt? He doesn't know why that just now hit him, but it did.

"Sir, your shirt. Please," He says breathlessly, wanting to feel Cas's skin against his.

"Why don't you take it off me, baby boy?" Cas quips back and Dean has zero hesitation, he leans forward, pulling off Cas's cock to do so, and drags the hem of Cas's shirt up over his chest and around his head and finally throws it onto the floor. All of a sudden, Cas chuckles and then he's pitched forward when he grabs Dean's hips and slams inside of him, pounding Dean with his length. He moans and has to catch himself on the bed so he doesn't fall on Cas as he starts to pound into Dean, his legs spread and his hips leaving the bed to get the leverage he wants. Dean's arms don't allow him to stay in that position long since he has to constantly readjust. Cas's is fucking him vigorously, obviously just as needy for it as Dean is. He takes a chance and leans back, raising himself up to a sitting position again, making Cas slow down. He looks down at Cas and bites his lip, breathing hard. "I said... I wanted to ride you, Sir. Let me? Please?"

Cas's hand comes up and runs through Dean's hair, gently playing with it. "And when did my boy get so good at begging, hmm? You ask so politely. Ride me, Dean. Make me feel how badly you want it."

The tension in Dean's shoulders evaporates at Cas's words and he relaxes, placing his hands on Cas's chest, and slowly starts to raise his hips off, just a few inches, then sinks back down, groaning at being so full. Cas's hands settle on Dean's hips but they don't stay there long. They travel up his sides to his chest. Cas starts to play with his nipples and Dean's rhythm falters at the shooting pleasure singing through him. He moves his hands from Cas's chest to come up and cups Cas's hands, flattening them to his chest as he starts to ride him more fully, urging him deeper. He grinds into him hard, throwing his head back with his eyes closed and giving in to the sensations. Cas groans underneath him and growls, "Could you be any more perfect? Fuck, baby boy, you're going to ruin me."

Dean opens his eyes and grins down at a flushed, sweating Cas. He's obviously restraining himself from just grabbing Dean and fucking him with abandon because Dean can feel the vibrating tension radiating from him.

"I'd be okay with that," Dean whispers, and a hand lands on his ass in a harsh swat that has him keening and rocking forward, eyes fluttering closed and mouth falling open in a pant. "Again, Sir. Please. Please? Ahh!"

He moans when Cas's hand comes down on his bare ass again and he's so hard that his cock is hurting from being constricted by the blue lace but he doesn't care. He just keeps rocking forward and back, loving when Cas spanks him hard enough that it stings and makes pre-cum leak from the tip of his cock. He swears he's probably dripping by now. "Mmm, baby boy. Look at you, all red and squirming for me. Your cock is so hard, trying to escape from those pretty panties. All that pretty blue lace wrapped around your cock makes me want to bend you over and fuck you until you scream."

Suddenly Cas's hand is squeezing his cock through his panties and Dean jolts, making his ass clench around Cas's cock and he groans, "Fuck, do that again baby boy. God, you're so tight. I love that I've been the only one to fuck this little hole. It's all mine, isn't it? Your ass belongs to me?"

Dean groans and whimpers, "Yes. Yes, Sir! Only yours. Just yours. Oh, God." Dean shudders on top of Cas, clenching down around him again and making Cas groan. "You're so perfect for me, sweet boy. My Dean. I'm close, baby boy. Are you going to cum for me? You going to cum on my cock? Hmm? I wanna cum in that tight little ass of yours. Perfect little virgin hole just for me."

Dean's whole body shivers with Cas's words and he thinks he might explode. "Yes, Sir! Wanna cum, ahh! Wanna cum on you. Please? Can I?"

Cas's fingers dig into his hips and he growls, "Wanna mark me up, little boy? Hmm? Wanna cum all over me? Make me yours?"

"Yes! Yes, please! I'm so close, Sir." Dean whimpers, his eyes permanently squeezed shut, riding Cas for all he's worth. Cas pulls his panties down over his cock and settles them up under his balls and Dean keens at the pressure. Fuck, that feels so good. Cas's starts stroking him, tugging harshly and using his copious pre-cum to slick the way for his calloused hand and Dean's nearly shrieks at the pleasure when Cas slaps his ass again. "Cum on me, Dean. Cum for me. Fuck, I'm so close, baby boy."

The words are all Dean needs to completely give up the ghost of trying to hold back his orgasm and he slams himself down against Cas's cock and tries to thrust forward into his hand in the same motion. It's not perfect, but it's fucking fantastic. Cas brings his hand down on his ass a final time and Dean tenses, throwing his head back as all the fire building in his belly comes to a head and he's thrown over the edge. "Fuck, yes, Dean!"

Cas slams into him before tensing and spraying Dean's insides with what's sure to be ropes of cum, and holy shit he can feel it twitching inside of him and he clenches his ass around, riding his own wave of pleasure, vibrating with tension on top of Cas. He opens his eyes and looks down at where his twitching, rock-hard cock is spraying cum all over Cas's naked chest, marking him up, and he swears to God it's like he has another orgasm.

"Cas!" He screams and clenches down on him again body nearly locking up at the image. Cas groans open-mouthed and stares into Dean as his cock finally finishes twitching inside him and Dean's own orgasm winds down he all but collapses onto Cas, not caring about the warm cum squishing between their heaving chests or the sweat clinging to their heated skin. His breath shudders against Cas's collarbone and his hand comes up to rub at Dean's hair, Cas's own harsh panting more than evident in the now-silence of the dusk-ridden bedroom. They don't speak for several minutes. There's no need to. When Cas's cock softens, he pulls his hips away from Dean long enough for him to slip out of his sloppy hole and then settles back against him. As Dean comes down from his high he realizes his mistake and anger fills him. Fuck. He was doing so good but then he had to slip up. Dammit. He almost had it. With a huff he rolls over onto his right side, bringing Cas with him as he goes since he refuses to let go of Dean. He tries to get himself situated but Cas wraps his arms around him and keeps him held tight. "No. Stay here. You feel so good right here."

An idea occurs to him then. It's something that flashed across his mind earlier but he wants to try it now. He pulls his hand away from Cas and brings it back to his hole, gently easing a finger in and feeling the liquid mess that Cas left inside him. "What are you doing, baby boy?"

Dean crooks his finger and draws it out of himself, bringing around for him to look at. The pearly white mess is making his mouth water. He pulls away enough so that Cas can see what he's doing, his black feather-fanned blue eyes wide with disbelief. "Dean?"

Dean puts his finger in his mouth and groans at the musky taste that's different from the tang of his pre-cum he's gotten to taste, closing his eyes and sucking on the digit. When he opens his eyes again after his finger is clean, Cas is staring at him open-mouthed and pupils blown. Dean flushes and starts stammering, "W-was that - sorry, I just - I wanted-" Cas lays a finger over Dean's lips and Dean stops babbling at the soft command, "Hush."

Cas licks his lips, looking down obviously at Dean's then back up into his eyes. "That might literally be the hottest thing I have ever witnessed," And then, to Dean's shock and amazement, comes the soft request, "Do it again."

He goes to place his hand back behind himself but Cas grabs his wrist, placing it at his side, and then brings his own hand around. Dean whimpers softly at the feeling of Cas's fingers sliding into his abused, puffy hole, and whimpers more at the loss when they pull away. Cas holds his hand out like an offering and Dean wraps his lips around Cas's fingers like it's the sweetest candy he's ever tasted.  
  
He twines his tongue all around Cas's fingers until they're clean and taste like salt and flesh and _Cas,_ and his boyfriend is smiling at him with nothing short of awe and pride and the warm feeling Dean gets in his chest when Cas calls him 'good boy' is amplified without words. When Dean traces his fingers over Cas's chest, scooping up the splatters of his pearled, shining cum, and offers them up for Cas to taste he's never seen a more amused look. Cas stares him right in the eye as he bends his head to engulf Dean's fingers in his warm mouth and proceeds to lick away his cum. They continue until they're both as clean as they can get and collapse onto the bed in a dried-sweat, fucked-out mess of cum smears and satisfaction that has Dean grinning like a cat that just devoured a bowl of cream and when Cas tells him as much he says, "Yeah. How could I be anything but satisfied with you for a boyfriend, Sir?"

The words make Cas smile and they kiss, their musk-covered tongues tasting like remnants of each other's spend twining together in a lazy, slow dance that has heated happiness melting liquid ore underneath Dean's ribs. As if by some unspoken agreement, they both whisper 'circus' when they pull away and Dean grins.  
  
"You know what we need now?" Cas asks, letting go of Dean to stretch, his entire body a long, lean line of tanned skin and silken muscle that Dean wants to nibble at.

"What's that?"

"A shower. And some food."

"I agree. But can we nap first?" Cas laughs and swats him on the butt as he gets up, holding out a hand for Dean who rolls his eyes but gets up on his knees and walks across the bed to the edge where Cas is standing. He tugs on his hand and brings him closer, then kisses him deeply, savoring the connection. "You were amazing, Dean. You know that?"

"Thanks, Cas. I could say the same for you."

 

**~Castiel~**

  
  
Castiel stirs the homemade sauce in the pot. He made it a few weeks ago and froze it but now he's making some spaghetti and he wanted to use his garden-fresh sauce for Dean to try. The kitchen smells like herbs and tomatoes and the sound of boiling water and John Denver fills the room. Castiel hears a scoff behind him and turns to look at Dean who's sitting on the barstool closest to Castiel and he's glancing at the stereo with a dubious look. His freshly washed hair is damp and messy and it makes Castiel want to run his fingers through it. "Do you seriously like this?"

Castiel raises an eyebrow and smirks. "You don't? It's a classic, Dean. How could you not?"

"Uh, no. That's country. Classics are rock, man."

"There are classics in every genre of music," Castiel argues, turning to stir his sauce again and throw more salt into the boiling noodles. "Yeah, but when you say classics, man, you gotta be talking about rock music. That's where it's at."

"Favorite bands?"

"That's easy. Led Zeppelin's obviously my top, but Metallica and Kansas are close seconds. What about you?"

"Oh, I'm afraid I can't pick a favorite band. I have a very eclectic taste."

"That's one way to put it."

Castiel can hear the humor and allusion in Dean's voice and it makes him smile. Was it always this easy to be domestic? To cook and just talk with a partner? He doesn't think it was.

"As I recall it, you seem to enjoy my eclectic tastes," Castiel turns around and takes in Dean with a predatory look that has his boy already blushing, then he does his best impression from earlier, "Oh God, yes, Sir, please! Please, more! Oh god, _your tongue!"_

Castiel gets a dish rag to the face for his effort and it makes him bust out in laughter at seeing Dean's red face. He's flushed all the way from the lip of his t-shirt to his ears and frankly, it's adorable. Castiel's still laughing when he puts the dishrag on the counter and turns of his sauce, moving it onto the back burner. He walks around the bar and spins Dean's stool to where he's facing him and grabs his face in between his hands and kisses him soundly. When he pulls away Dean looks up at him through light lashes and says, "You're an ass."

Castiel chuckles and leans forward to whisper a growl in Dean's ear, "No, Dean, I just like to eat ass. Yours in particular. It was so deli-" Dean shoves his shoulder, huffing and Castiel laughs again and gets a smile out of Dean for it. Dean rolls his eyes but smiles grudgingly as he crosses his arms in front of him, looking every bit like a cocky little boy pouting and Castiel steps into the space between his spread legs, nudging his hands under Dean's crossed arms. He rubs his thumbs over Dean's nipples and can feel them pebble and harden under his touch, and he's rewarded with a gasp. Dean bites his lip and looks up at him, all the cockiness gone and replaced by a pink blush and pouty lips. God, he'll never get over how responsive Dean is. It's lovely.  
  
"Hmm, you like that don't you?"

"What do you think?" Dean says a little breathlessly, squirming a little in his seat as Castiel continues. Dean's arms go around Castiel's shoulders and he uses the space to properly tweak and pull on Dean's nipples, earning a breathy little moan.  
  
"I think that tonight I will show you why I keep chocolate in my nightstand next to the lube." Castiel wink and pulls away, walking back to his noodles. He bursts out laughing again when he Dean cusses under his breath and grumbles about "bossy-ass teases."  
  
"Wait until I edge you for hours and have you begging for relief. Then we'll talk about bossy ass teases," Castiel quips, smirking over his shoulder when Dean's mouth drops open. Castiel just chuckles and starts preparing to serve their food.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILERY NOTE FOR THE EASILY SQUICKED: There is ass-to-mouth cum play and cum eating here. It's only like a paragraph, so if it makes you uncomfortable, just skid on by that lmao.
> 
> Also, y'all should seriously thank Supernatural_sexpistol for the rimming scene there, assuming you enjoyed it. She helped me. I swear to god, that woman is like the queen of Porn Bunnies, and she gets my twisted little brain a-moving.
> 
> Big thanks to all y'all that are reading, and we're getting some deeper-ish stuff in the next chapter so fully consider this as me buttering you up. I love you guys! 
> 
> As always, if you liked it and you feel moved, leave me some feedback. I literally ADORE talking to you guys and hearing your thoughts on stuffs, so feel free. :D


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No more squick warnings, but warning for squick lol. I hope you like it guys!
> 
> TW WARNING: Graphic-ish Child abuse-neglect, blood, and alcoholism. Please be careful. 
> 
> Thanks to Supernatural_sexpistol for the nipple clamp help! You're a doll. :) 
> 
> And to Iridescence, whenever you get around to reading this, thanks for the line that inspired the new scene. You know the one. ;)

  
Castiel wakes to a whimpering sound that has him thinking of a wounded animal of some kind and he's immediately confused. He doesn't own any animals. He opens his eyes, rubbing them with the heels of his hands and sitting up. The darkness is thick and Castiel can't really see anything. It's late, the middle of the night presumably since he and Dean were up late. He inhales sharply when he realizes it's Dean making those sounds. He's curled away from Castiel, clutching his pillow and twitching in his sleep, mumbling brokenly, "No.. No, please, don't... Dad, no!"

Castiel's breath catches in his throat and his heart stills. Dean is having nightmares about his father?

"No... please." Dean whimpers and curls in on himself, he's nearly in the fetal position by now. Castiel scoots up the bed, Dean has moved surprisingly far away from him. He places a hand on his shoulder and gives him a gentle shake, trying to rouse him. "Dean, wake up."

Dean just curls away from the touch, issuing broken noises that have Castiel's heart shattering. He grabs Dean's shoulder and rolls him over onto his back. Castiel props up on his left elbow takes Dean's face in his right hand, stroking his thumb over the boy's delicate cheekbone. "Wake up, Dean. You need to wake up now."

With a sharp inhale and a large jerk Dean wakes, making the bed bounce with the force of his flinch. His eyes are wide, terrified, and he begins to shake. "It's alright. It was just a dream. You're awake now. Nothing can harm you," Castiel soothes, speaking gently.

Dean squeezes his eyes shut and a tear falls from his left one when he does. Blindly, he gropes for Castiel who lets his elbow fall until he's laying on the bed completely. Dean grabs the collar of Castiel's t-shirt and pulls him closer. Dean rolls forward and nestles himself into the space in front of him, burying his face in Castiel's chest. He's trembling. Castiel scoops his arm underneath Dean's shoulder and rolls onto his back, bringing Dean with him and wrapping his arms around him, cradling him to his chest. He strokes a hand through his hair and along the back of his neck, trying to soothe him.

"It's alright," Castiel murmurs. "I have you now. You're safe."

"Ca- Cas," Dean stutters, still shaking. Castiel runs his hand along Dean's back, rubbing gently. "It's alright. You don't have to tell me. But if you want to talk about it I'm here. I would never judge you."

"I can't... Not... Not right now. But later, okay?"

"Okay, Dean. That's fine. Now hush, sweetheart. Just breathe. You're safe with me. I would never hurt you. I've got you."

Castiel murmurs a litany of endless praise and support and Dean does eventually calm down from his nightmare, never ceasing the tight clutch he has on Castiel's shirt. He takes a deep, shuddering breath and his tears cease finally. Castiel continues running his hand over Dean's back, holding him close. _What happened to Dean to make him have such terrible memories?_ Castiel keeps his questions to himself, making sure he just comforts Dean as best he can. Dean will tell him when he's able to, and Castiel can live with his curiosity until that happens, or even if it doesn't. He'd never force Dean to tell him anything, he just knows he needs to be here for his boy. When Dean takes a deep breath and rearranges his face so that he's looking up towards the wall instead of being tucked into Castiel's shirt he thinks about speaking, but he's going to wait on Dean to speak first. Castiel closes his eyes, just holding Dean and listening to their quiet breaths mix together in the darkness. A few minutes later Dean moves his trapped arm and runs his hand over Castiel's chest before murmuring, "You awake?"

"Yes," Castiel opens his eyes but doesn't make any other movement, he's waiting to see where this is going.  
  
"Dad... wasn't a nice guy. I guess he started out good, but after Mom died it just kind of went downhill. I raised Sam, and myself, really. He was a drunk. The short of it was basically - and I don't think he really meant to do it - but one night, he was really out of it; been drinking all day. Sam was about five."

Dean's voice is sad and resigned and Castiel's full of dread. _What happened?_

"He came home, stumbling inside, yelling and asking where we were. I had been putting Sam to bed but I went down the stairs to see what all the fuss was about. I told Sammy, _I told him_ to stay in bed. No five-year-old should be seeing their dad like that." _Neither should a nine-year-old,_ Castiel wants to say, but he holds his tongue. Castiel is going to lay hands on John Winchester if he ever sees him, he knows that. What parent leaves a nine-year-old at home alone to watch their younger sibling?! Castiel can feel anger churning, but he stays quiet, listening.

"I don't really know what I did wrong, I guess he was just mad. But he had his belt off, and he went to hit me with it. I-I didn't even know Sam had-had followed me. I didn't hear him. He jumped in front of me and the first hit landed on him. I screamed at Dad to stop. I pushed Sam out of the way and yelled at him to go to his room. Little brat didn't listen, as usual, but then Dad was hitting me so it didn't matter. I don't know how long it lasted... It felt like forever. I kept asking him to stop, begging really, but he didn't listen. My arms were... there was blood... But anyway, when it finally stopped he just passed out on the couch and I was crying. I remember that. I was trying not to 'cause Sammy was there, but I couldn't help it. It hurt really bad. Sam, at only five years old, took my hand and made me go upstairs. We laid down in his toddler bed and I just cried. He was sniffling too, Dad had gotten his face with the belt. We finally fell asleep. When I woke up the next morning I freaked out because Sammy was gone. I got up to go find him, which hurt really bad, but he was coming in the door as I opened it. We just laid back down. You know what he left the bed to go do?"

Dean has a hint of pride in his voice, and some amusement and Castiel ask curiously, "What did he do?"

"He went downstairs and hit Dad in the face with one of his own work boots. He was still passed out and he didn't wake up. Got him right across the bridge of the nose. Dad was all bruised up for weeks after that. I thought it was great. Dangerous, but brave. Sammy stuck up for me like that, just like I did for him," Castiel thinks he'll like Dean's brother. He sounds like good people. "But uh, that's what the nightmare was about. I have them sometimes. Sorry I woke you up."

"No need to apologize. I'm glad I was here. Thank you for telling me, Dean."

Dean twitches and rubs his cheek against Castiel's t-shirt for a moment. "Hey, um... Cas?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think you could... I mean, could you, like... Uh-"

"What is it, Dean?"

"Could you uh... not call me that? Right now, I mean." Dean whispers it so quietly that it takes Castiel a moment to understand what he's asking. His brows draw together in confusion at the request. After a moment, he decides to follow his gut. The worst he could be is wrong.

"Would sweet boy be okay? Is that what you want?" Castiel bends his head a little and kisses Dean's hair and he hears a soft sigh and knows immediately that he's right.  
  
"Yeah. I know it's weird, it just makes me feel... good, I guess."

"It's not weird at all. It makes you feel cared for, which you are. And safe. It's a title of endearment. Thank you for asking that of me. I don't mind at all, sweet boy. I find it adorable, just as much as I do the rest of you." Castiel rubs his nose over the crown of Dean's head and it makes his boy giggle and huff, most likely having him roll his eyes as well, but as long as he's laughing Castiel doesn't care.  
  
"You're perfect you know that, Cas?"

For one instance Castiel almost corrects him on the title, and it's not 'Sir' that he was going to say. Fuck. Castiel rids himself of the thought immediately and as surely as he can. He and Dean have not spoken about age-play as of yet, it would not be right to ask Dean to call him anything beyond what they've already agreed upon. "I might've heard that on occasion. It's incorrect, but the sentiment is appreciated all the same."

Castiel scoots down the bed, letting go of Dean until they're lying on their sides and facing each other, faces only inches apart. He strokes a thumb over Dean's eyebrow and Dean's eyelids flutter closed, clearly enjoying the intimate touch. It's something he himself finds soothing to do, and the urge to comfort Dean is just as strong as, if not stronger than, it usually is. He leans forward and rubs his nose over Dean's.

"Sammy used to call those Eskimo kisses," Dean murmurs without opening his eyes, his sweet breath puffing onto Castiel's face. It smells like chocolate. He smirks at the thought of what they did earlier. Castiel runs the tip of his nose up over the bridge of Dean's, then along his forehead, his lips pressing soft kisses along his temples and over his brow, moving back down the soft curve of his cheek, still baby-round and young.

"And these?" He murmurs softly against Dean's skin, kissing his cheekbone.

"Those're butterfly kisses," Dean says quietly, sounding almost asleep, eyes still closed and body soft and relaxed under Castiel's touch, which is what he was hoping for.  
  
Taking what he knows is a mild chance, Castiel murmurs between kisses, "You're such a sweet baby boy. You deserve the world."

Dean murmurs something unintelligible in a small, sleepy voice and Castiel smiles against his skin in the dark. "You're so good, sweet boy. You're everything."

Dean just hums and his breaths are soft and slow. Castiel smiles and pulls away a little, then cuddles into Dean, laying down again. His boy is asleep again, safe and cherished. Castiel spends the next few minutes thinking about Dean and what he's learned tonight, not just about his past, but about their relationship dynamic. Hmm...

  
  
**~Dean~**

  
  
Dean wakes to warm breath coming across his face, and it doesn't smell good. He cracks an eye open and chuckles, his throat rusty from disuse. The side of Cas's face is squished against the pillow and his mouth is open. With the sun shining in a bright halo behind Cas, Dean can see the age difference between them. Cas has eye crinkles and forehead lines where Dean does not. He has the tiniest glint of silver at his hairline by his ears, it's almost impossible to see, and Dean doesn't think it'd be noticeable for several, several, more years, but he can see it just now, studying him. Cas's skin is tan, lined, and loved, obviously sun-kissed and wind-hugged. He looks like a man that loves the outdoors, and Dean knows that's true. One of his favorite features is Cas's lips. They're plump and pink and have small white spots where the pink fades into something lighter. Dean loves looking at them, but he loves kissing them more. For now, though, their breath stinks, and Dean has to pee. He rolls out of bed, trying not to disturb Cas, and goes to the bathroom. When he's finished there, he shuffles to the kitchen, yawning. He wants coffee.

Morning sunlight is shining through the white curtains and giving the kitchen a dreamy, Saturday-pancake-morning-with-the-happy-couple-movie-haze. As the coffee maker begins to steam and make the tell-tale sound of it brewing, his hands grip the sink and he looks out the window. He smiles at the thought of he and Cas being the movie-couple, who wake up happy in a sun-filled house, domestic bliss on a sepia-toned memory. He likes the idea of it. As he thinks that he turns around and looks at the house. It's all open and airy, not small, but not too big either. It's bright and warm. Welcoming. Maybe that's why he feels so comfortable here. _Nah,_ he thinks with a shake of his head. It's Cas. Cas makes him comfortable. The thought somewhat dims his smile as the memory of what happened last night surfaces. He's not sure whether it's a good thing or not that he shared that with Cas.

He's really not sure about it. He shared something really traumatic, and frankly, just messed-up, about his past with Cas. He drums his fingers on the countertop as he ponders it. It's another step down the couplehood road they're walking, he guesses. Dean sighs and looks down at his bare feet against the pale woodgrain floor. He wonders what Cas's past is like. He knows some of it, of course, they've talked, but he doesn't know a lot. They've talked about it. Some. Mostly they've been doing other things. Dean smirks. _Lots_ of other things.

Dean looks over at the coffee pot, smiling when he sees that it's full. He loves fast coffee pots. They're a blessing on his tired life. He pulls a chipped blue mug out of the cabinet and pours the coffee in, adding two spoons of sugar and stirring. As he takes a hot sip it occurs to him that he moves around this kitchen with more ease than he does his own. Perhaps that should be worrying to him. Maybe this all should be. Who's he to say, really? He doesn't exactly have a lot of experience in any of this, relationships aren't exactly his forte, and he's definitely never had a partner like Cas. His kinky Dom boyfriend is a huge first for Dean, and actually, he needs to research that. Almost everything he knows about BDSM he knows from Cas. It'd be cool to get his own view on it, find some information and hell, maybe surprise Cas. That would be really cool actually. The idea makes him feel warm and he wraps his other hand around the heated porcelain he's holding and takes another sip, savoring the sweet, dark liquid. He likes this. It's quiet. Not the lonely, dingy, empty quiet of his house. This kind of quiet is peaceful. It's a waiting-on-something-to-happen quiet. A happy quiet. He's never really had a happy quiet before.

Not since Sammy anyway. The thought of his little brother turns his thought a bit sour. Sam left for Stanford not too terribly long ago. The hole he left in Dean's heart is still aching with a wailing solitude, but lately, he hasn't been thinking of it as much. He's been thinking of Cas, who, incidentally enough, is carving out his own niche in Dean's heart. Dean's not even sure if Cas knows it or not. He probably does. He's a smart bastard like that. Dean perks up when he hears a groan from the bedroom and then a rumbled, "Marco?"

Dean's immediately confused and a small tendril of jealously curls around his ribs for a second before he gets it. He grins, bad feelings banished, and yells, "Polo!"

He hears Cas's deep laugh and then the bathroom door shutting. Jesus, he's spending so much time here he can tell the difference in the doors shutting. He's really not sure if that's good or bad. It feels good, but then again, so does dope, so... He laughs at himself and shakes his head. He sets his coffee cup on the counter and steps away from it, beginning to stretch. He arches his back and raises his palms towards the ceiling, not that he can touch it, and stands up on his tiptoes, body tense, and then he relaxes, a satisfying pop in his back bringing a lazy grin to his face. "You're beautiful."

He opens his eyes and finds a grinning Cas standing by the bar, t-shirt and sweat-pants, and sex-ruffled hair, looking every bit like a god, and is Dean's mouth watering? Dean rolls his eyes but walks over to Cas, planting a kiss on his lips. "That's what you tell me. You are too, ya know."

Cas arches an eyebrow at him, lips quirked up in a half-smirk, "Is that so?" Cas grabs his hips and pulls him closer. Dean looks up at him and smiles.  
  
"Yeah. I was looking at you earlier-"

"That's not creepy."

"Oh, shut up. And I dunno. You just looked... angelic."

"Angelic, hmm?" Cas leans forward and presses a kiss to Dean's forehead, "I can accept that, but only if you tell me you're beautiful."  
  
He pulls away and looks down at Dean with a soft smile adorning his lips. Dean hesitates, something inside tugging at him. It's not really true. The words don't mean anything to him. They're playing right now. But when the whisper crosses his lips into the coffee-scented sunlit kitchen, it feels like they mean something. "I'm beautiful."

Cas kisses him on the lips and pulls away again, "Yes, you are. Now, how about breakfast?"

  
**~**

  
Dean chews his sausage thoughtfully, mulling over the information Cas just gave him. He swallows before he speaks since Cas admonished him for it a minute ago. "So what, like you just decided you wanted to get into the scene all of a sudden? Just jumped into BDSM? I mean, just like that?"

Cas chuckles and spears a piece of waffle as he talks. "No, I thought about it first. I was interested in it for quite some time before I tried it."

"And you just like, started Domming people? That's like, kinda cool."

"No, actually. I started out as a sub."

Dean feels his mouth drop open but he can't summon the brain power to fix it. Cas? A sub? What? He can't put the two things together at all. He can't imagine Cas being willingly obedient to another's will or obeying someone's orders. He's just so dominant and in control all the time. He blinks up at Cas, who's smiling at him, eyes twinkling. "You can't see it, can you?"

Dean shakes his head. He literally can't imagine Cas down on his knees with his arms crossed behind his back. Naked, and head bowed, black hair long enough to tug his face up to look at Dean - whoa. Okay. Maybe he can imagine it. He shifts a little in his seat and Cas catches the movement, smirking at Dean with an eyebrow raised. "I guess you can see it?"

"Uh, yeah, kinda. Shit, Cas. That would be... crazy." Amazing is the word he wants to say, but he can't picture himself doing that really. He couldn't dominate Cas, he doesn't think. When Dean first met him he totally thought he could, but now? Hell no. It'd just feel weird.

"Is that something you'd like to try?" Dean's mouth goes dry. He goggles over at Cas, a blush staining his cheeks.

"What, are you serious?"

"Well, yes. Not any time soon, but eventually? Only if you're interested, of course."

"Uh..." Dean completely blanks. Him dominating Cas? Jesus, could he even handle something like that? A hand lands over his and squeezes his fingers.

"If you're not comfortable with it, it's fine, Dean. I'm perfectly happy with how we are now. It was only an errant question."

When Dean finally finds his voice he stutters, "I-is that something tha-that you want? I mean... subbing? You'd d-do it?"

"It's not something I need if that's what you mean. Not the way I desire control. I haven't subbed for anyone in a very long time. It would be a great sign of trust, Dean. We aren't ready for that now, but in time, if you'd like, I'd be open to it."

"You'd w-want me to do it?"

"Who else?" Castiel graces him with a large, genuine, gummy smile and Dean can't help but smile back.  
  
"I mean... Maybe? Maybe we can talk about it more when we're like..."

"More established?"

"Yeah. That."

Cas laughs and rubs his thumb over Dean's knuckles and forks up a piece of waffle. Dean finds himself watching Cas's long fingers grip the fork. It almost seems artful. He has thin fingers. Long, and thin, and tanned, work-roughened and beautiful even. Dean's eyebrows knit together and he looks down at his pants in confusion, shifting in his seat to relieve the sudden pressure in his pants. Did he seriously just get a semi from thinking about Cas's hands? Jesus, he's weird. He looks back up at Cas, looks away from his fucking fingers, and turns back to his own plate. Okay. He's good. Just weird. He and Cas start talking again and soon he forgets about his mysterious boner and leaves it at the back of his mind for later analyzation.

"I think I have to go home tomorrow," Dean says around a mouthful of sausage, ignoring the look Cas gives him for it. "Benny took the garage for a few days since we didn't have any customizations orders in, but there's a Camaro coming in for a restoration soon and I need to meet the clients."

"That's fine," Cas nods.

"So you're cool with me staying here another night? I can go home if I need to."

"You're welcome here, of course, Dean. I'd love for you to stay. I do have some work I need to accomplish today but it's nothing major. I'd be able to complete it in a little over an hour with my laptop."

"Whatcha gotta do?"

"I'm assisting in the writing of an article with a colleague of mine, Hannah. She's advocating for environmental rights for bee preservation, and she asked me to give my viewpoint. She's hoping to have it published online by the end of the month."

"Do you get paid to do that stuff?"

"It depends on who I'm writing for. I'm doing this because Hannah is my friend, and her words need to be out there. If I write for journals or scientific magazines I do get paid, but this is for a friend."

"I get it. That's nice of you, Cas."

Cas nods and smiles, cleaning his last bit of syrup from the plate with a swipe of waffle. He stands, grabbing Dean's already cleared plate as he goes. Dean stays sitting in his chair, swiveling around to look at Cas as he goes for the sink. Even in sweatpants, he looks delectable and Dean wants to bite him. He rolls his eyes at himself and openly stares at Cas's ass as he moves around, washing and rinsing the plates and putting them in the dish drainer.

"Are you going to stare at my rear for the rest of the morning? I can pose if you'd like," Cas says without turning around and Dean nearly chokes on his tongue as he starts laughing.

"Sure, you could do that," Dean drawls, and Cas looks back over his shoulder, smirking at Dean. He puts his elbows on the lip of the kitchen sink and leans his chest over them, looking over his shoulder the whole time. He arches his back and pushes his ass out, leaning over enticingly and Dean's eyes widen.

"Holy shit," Dean murmurs, taking in the sight. Cas laughs and straightens back up.  
  
"Maybe you'd be interested in fucking me sometime, hmm? Based on the state of your pants I'm thinking it's a yes," Cas purrs.  
  
Dean twitches and laughs, a bit nervously. "Uh, are you serious?"

"Completely."

"Hell yes."

They both start laughing and Dean can't help but shake his head at the thought. Him inside Cas? Holy crap.

  
  
**~Castiel~**  


Dean has been unusually quiet for the last half hour or so as they sit in the living room, Castiel working on his article with Dean cuddled up next to him, watching Armageddon on Netflix. That is, until he starts pestering Castiel about doing another scene less than fifteen minutes later.

"Dean, we can't do another scene while you're here." Castiel insists and Dean pouts, looking up at him with big green eyes.  
  
"Why not?"

Castiel is sitting on the couch, having finished his article, and Dean is lying with his head in Castiel's lap. "Because we've already scened twice, and you're unaccustomed to the strain. I'm not going to hurt you."

"I'm fine, dude, I swe-"

"So you're not sore at all? If I pounded that little hole of yours you wouldn't be aching and limping afterward?"

Dean's hips buck upwards, drawing Castiel's attention. "Fuck Cas, please? Please, something?"

Castiel plays his hand lightly over Dean's chest, rubbing in small circles, gradually making his way towards the waistband of his pants. "My baby boy is greedy, isn't he?" Castiel murmurs.  
  
"Yes. Yes, Sir. Only for you. Please? I want you to... to take charge."

Castiel relents. He knows that Dean's emotional state is precarious and he'll have to take precautions to keep him from dropping, but they can scene without penetration and keep Dean from hurting himself at least physically.  
  
"You've corrupted me, little one. Always having me bend to your will and desires." Castiel purrs, watching the effect it has on Dean. "Give me the word and I'll give you what you want."

"Circus." Dean breathes, and like a cool rush of water, Castiel feels clear.

"Circus." He repeats back. He runs his finger over the forming tent in Dean's pants, teasing him lightly. Dean jerks under his touch, giving a needy whine. "What've you been thinking about that has you so needy already? Hmm, naughty boy? Where was that dirty mind of yours at?"

"I-I was thinking of being in the playroom and you- you having me up on the wall. Fucking me and not letting me cum."

"Oh, is that it?" Castiel chuckles, his voice dark and deep. "That sounds like a delightful idea," He growls and takes pride in watching Dean's shiver at the words. "Maybe we'll do that the next time we scene. How does that sound?"

"Sounds good, Sir!" Dean squeaks as Castiel presses his fingers against his perineum and stimulates his prostate from the outside, through his pants no less. Dean's hips buck up into his hand and Castiel chuckles. He pulls his fingers away and gives Dean's cock one last squeeze before running his hand back up Dean's chest and over his mouth, covering the needy whine issuing from his pink lips. Dean's eyes are wide when he looks up at him.  
  
"I have something I want you to do, Dean."

Dean nods immediately, not even questioning and Castiel feels a rush of affection roll through him. Dean really is perfect.

"I want you to warm my cock. No sucking, no licking, no getting me hard. If you can do that, if you can be good for me, I'll give you a reward. I don't want you to touch yourself. If you can behave I'll touch you plenty. How does that sound?" Dean nods again, his body twitching but calming now. Castiel removes his hand from Dean's mouth and encourages him to sit up wordlessly. Castiel shucks his own pants off, laying them on the coffee table. He's not wearing underwear, having gone commando this morning, and he laughs at Dean's widened eyes. He sits back against the couch, sitting in his previous position. "Lay down here, Dean, same position as before."

"Yes, Sir."

Dean lays back, placing his head on Castiel's thigh like he was before. "Scoot up a little, and turn on your side." Dean complies, and then his mouth his panting hot breath onto Castiel's cock and he has a feeling he's going to get hard just from being in Dean's mouth.

"Take me inside," He says, and Dean's hot mouth encloses around his cock. Castiel uses his hand to guide Dean's head down until he's laying it on Castiel's lap, completely relaxed.

"If it gets to be too much, pull away. You won't be punished or reprimanded in any way. Do you understand?" He strokes Dean's hair and his boy closes his eyes, making a sound of acknowledgment, apparently just feeling it. His mouth is so hot and wet and perfect. Castiel's cock sits perfectly still on Dean's tongue, and he can tell his boy is forcibly keeping himself from sucking or moving. Castiel's not failed to notice his oral fixation, even if Dean doesn't know he has one. Castiel grabs his phone from the arm of the couch and brings up his Gmail account. He's going to write an email to Hannah and when he's finished with that, if Dean's been good, he'll get rewarded. Castiel uses his right hand to swipe across his keyboard and make the words and with his left he strokes Dean's hair, letting him know that Castiel is still thinking of him.

"What a good boy you are." He murmurs, and Dean swallows around him, ridding himself of excess saliva. Castiel has to bite the inside of his cheek not to make a noise. He continues typing to Hannah and running his hand through Dean's soft hair for several minutes until he feels the soft flutter of eyelashes on his thigh and looks down, large green eyes looking back up at him. Teary green eyes. He puts his phone down immediately and pulls Dean off of him, slipping his cock from his mouth. "What is it, Dean? What's wrong?"

Dean props up on his elbow, it resting on Castiel's thigh and he gives him a small smile. Castiel's running his hands over Dean's face, trying to figure out what's wrong. "I'm okay, Sir. I'm just happy, is all."

Relief tugs at his heart but he's still suspicious. "Are you telling me the truth, Dean?"

Dean's smile drops and he looks horrified. "Yes. Yeah, of course, I am, Cas-Sir. Sorry. I wouldn't lie to you. I'm fine, I promise. Just happy is all. I'm sorry I scared you."

Castiel breathes a sigh of relief and bends down to hug Dean, kissing his forehead as he pulls away. "It's alright. Do you want to continue? It's alright if you don't."

"No, I wanna keep going. Wanna be good for you, Sir." Dean grins up at him and Castiel ruffles his hair.   
  
"You are good for me. If you're ready, lay back down."

Dean complies and takes Castiel's cock back in his mouth without waiting for Castiel to tell him. He swallows around him again as he settles, his eyes closing again and his body going completely lax on Castiel's own. He strokes his fingers over Dean's cheek and ear, and up into his hair without ceasing. He picks his phone back up and unlocks it again to continue typing. It seems like no time at all before he's finished and he's sent it off to Hannah. He clicks the button on the side to turn his screen to black and sets it back on the arm. He looks down at Dean and if Castiel didn't know better he'd say he's asleep for how relaxed he looks. His lips remain tight around the base of Castiel dick, but his eyes are closed, and a pale pink blush only slightly stains his cheeks, his face is relaxed and he shows no signs of being disturbed by anything. He looks peaceful.

"Suck," He commands softly, and gasps when Dean immediately starts doing so. It's like he was a racehorse dancing in the stall waiting for the roar of the gun going off before he could let loose. He sucks hard, the suction incredibly strong and it makes Castiel buck his hips. He's immediately growing in Dean's mouth, but that doesn't stop his boy any. Dean opens his eyes and looks up at Castiel; he can see the mirth swimming in them as he does what Castiel commanded him to do.   
  
"Lick, suck. Be good for me, baby boy. Show me you want it. You've been so good already," Castiel grips his hair and guides his head, biting his lip.

Dean starts bringing his tongue into play, licking and curling his tongue around the underside of Castiel shaft and it has him gasping. When Castiel hardens to his full-length Dean has to pull back so he can breathe but that doesn't stop him from continuing to give Castiel the most enthusiastic blowjob he's ever received. Dean makes happy noises of pleasure as his tongue flits across the slit at the head of his cock, lapping up the precum leaking from there and Castiel groans, leaning his head back against the couch. Dean seems to take it as a challenge. He starts moaning around his cock and bobbing his head up and down on him.  
  
"Oh fuck, baby boy. So good for me. Fuck," Castiel curses again, his hips jumping into Dean's mouth, who hums excitedly. The vibrations do magnificent things to him, and Castiel can feel himself getting close. He's not going to last long under all this stimulation. Dean keeps ardently sucking him down, literally making Castiel feel like he's vacuuming all the blood from his brain into his cock. He groans loudly when he feels a slight scrape of teeth across the top of his cock and he looks down at Dean, who's looking up at him. Even with his lips wrapped around Castiel's shaft, it looks like he's smirking.

"Be good and make me cum, baby boy. I want to cum in your pretty little mouth."

Dean returns to avidly trying to get him off and Castiel grips his hair tight in his hand, trying to resist the urge to fuck Dean's hot mouth. Dean hollows his cheeks and sucks as he pulls off and Castiel gasps, "Going to cum, baby boy. Going to cum in your mouth."

Dean doesn't stop. If anything he works harder. Everything builds to an inferno and Dean seems to notice the way his stomach muscles are dancing because he pulls away until only the tip of his cock is in his mouth and he looks up at Castiel. Their eyes meet, and then he sucks. Hard. Tongue flicking out to play at his slit and Castiel moans as he cums, shooting hot semen into Dean's mouth. His hips jump and his cock twitches with his orgasm as pleasure overwhelms him but that doesn't stop Dean from moaning at the taste on his tongue and lapping at Castiel's softening cock when he finally comes down. Castiel leans his head back against the couch, breathing heavy and chest heaving. He enjoys Dean lapping at his cock with little kitten licks, cleaning him. "Holy shit," He murmurs.

Dean pulls away with a laugh. "Was that good, Sir?"

Castiel raises his head and looks down at him. "That was amazing, baby boy." Dean grins and wiggles hips, looking down then back up at Castiel with a pleading look. Castiel laughs."I suppose it is my turn to reciprocate isn't it?"

"Please, Sir."

"Up then."

Dean sits up and Castiel sinks onto his bare knees in front of the couch, turning so that he's facing Dean.

"Clothes off," Castiel orders and Dean scrambles out of them and Castiel chuckles at his eagerness. He grabs Dean's leg and swings it over his head, pulling his hips over and then scooting him down the couch until his ass is almost hanging off of it. Castiel settles between Dean's legs, looking at his erect cock and licking his lips. Castiel brings his right hand up and grips Dean's cock loosely, not giving him anywhere near the friction he wants. That he needs.  
  
"Sir, please!"

"Begging for me already? Always such a needy boy. You love this so much, don't you?"

"God, yes. Please, Sir. I need something. Please don't tease. Please - I need-"

"Hush. I know what you need. And I will give it to you. When I decide to. You trust me don't you, baby boy?" Dean looks up at him with big pleading eyes.  
  
"Yeah. Yeah, I trust you. Sorry, Sir."

"I will give you what you need. But I'm going to do it my way and on my time. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Sir." Dean's hips are twitching, trying to keep his hips from rocking up into Castiel's grip.  
  
Castiel lets go of Dean's erection and looks up at Dean. "Close your eyes, beautiful boy. I have a surprise for you."

Dean complies immediately. Castiel reaches behind himself and grabs his sweatpants, delving into the hip pocket to get the nipple clamps he put in there earlier on the off chance of them doing something. These are different from the ones they used in their scene in the playroom. Those were metal, these are black rubber and they tighten, much to Castiel's advantage. He brings them out and doesn't bother to keep them from jingling. He watches Dean's reaction closely. He inhales sharply and his stomach tenses, his erection twitches. "Sir?"

"Shh. Let me take care of you."

Dean nods, swallowing thickly. Castiel lays the clamps on the couch and rises up until he's leaning over Dean's chest. He breathes warm air onto his right nipple and pushes his tongue out to taste the salty flesh. Dean stiffens under the touch at first but then relaxes into the laving of Castiel's tongue. He scrapes his teeth across it then bites gently and begins to tug. Dean arches under him, moaning lowly, erection twitching against Castiel's abdomen. When that nipple is red and pebbled under a cool breath of air Castiel clamps the nipple with the black rubber and begins to tighten it. Dean's back bows and he arches up and moans unabashedly.

"Oh, what a good boy. Do you like that?" Castiel tugs on the clamp by the chain and Dean slurs, "Yesss."

Castiel gives the other nipple the exact same treatment before pulling away, taking in the way Dean looks. He's flushed and panting, pink mouth open, eyes closed and dick hard and leaking pre-cum into a puddle on his stomach. Castiel has a wet spot on his shirt from it. He pulls it off and throws it on the floor by Dean's clothes and now they're both naked. "You may open your eyes."

Dean does, and as soon as the green hits him Castiel leans forward and takes Dean all the way into his mouth. "Oh fuck!"

Castiel hollows his cheeks and sucks and bobs his head like a pro and soon Dean is gasping and writhing under him. Castiel wants him to be swamped by his orgasm, to feel so much pleasure that he's dizzy with it. Using his left hand to hold the base he swirls his tongue around the head like a lollipop and flicks his tongue over Dean's slit as he tugs on the chain to the nipple clamps.

"Oh, God! _Nnnng!"_ Dean makes a needy sound and bucks his hips up into Castiel's mouth. He removes his hand from his cock and uses it to grip Dean's hip. Then he takes all of Dean's considerable length into his mouth and to the back of his throat, swallowing around him expertly.

"Oh, please! Please! Wanna cum! Wanna cuuu- _uum!"_ Dean whines and whimpers through the words and Castiel pulls off his cock and starts jerking him with rough, furious strokes, using his considerable spit to slick his hand. "Please God, Sir! Please! Please, I'm so close! Sir! Fuck!"

"What a naughty mouth." Castiel chuckles, "Cum for me, baby boy. I want to paint you with your cum. Come on. _Cum,"_ Castiel commands and jerks the chain, pulling the one on Dean's left nipple off and just tugs on the other one. Dean shrieks and his hips come off the couch as his cock spasms, and Castiel aims it to where Dean's spraying his own stomach, still jerking him. He gradually slows his rhythm as Dean's orgasm winds down and he slowly slumps into the couch. His eyes are at half-mast, glazed and looking at Castiel with something like awe. Castiel, with a smirk on his face, goes up and gently untightens the remaining clamp on his nipple and pulls it off. It takes a second, but then Dean moans and shudders, the blood rushing into his abused nipple and surely to God giving him tingling, rushing pain. Castiel's experienced that quite a few times.

"Holy shit, Sir." Dean mumbles, opening his eyes further to look up at Castiel. He has a wicked idea, and he made Dean cum on his stomach for a reason.

"I agree," He rumbles, then leans forward and licks a long stripe up Dean's stomach, gathering the white spend in his mouth. He leans up and locks lips with Dean, using his tongue to push the cum into Dean's mouth, who moans and pushes back against his mouth with his own lips. He leans back down and does it again, gradually cleaning Dean's stomach by licking it up off of him and kissing Dean until they both swallow it. It's by far one of the hottest things he's done. He's never been very into cum play, but he's starting to think he may've discovered a new kink. Just the idea of feeding Dean his own cum makes his dick twitch in interest. He laps up the last of it and coats his tongue with the sticky, now-cool cum, and kisses Dean deeply, reveling in him licking it off the muscle. He groans into Dean's mouth when his hands come up to grip Castiel's hair and drag him closer. Fuck. He pulls away and presses their foreheads together, panting.

"I'm glad you've corrupted me, little one."

Dean huffs a laugh, eyes closed and leaning into Castiel heavily. "Me too, Sir."  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So hmm, lots of notes here y'all. 
> 
> First and foremost, today, 9/06, is my birthday! I spent the entire day eating cake and writing this for you people lmao. Anyone wanna take a guess at how old I am? I'm VERY curious what you'll say. Lmao. (You won't offend me.) 
> 
> Secondly, oooh, Dean's having some problems, huh? Bit emotional there for a minute. More on that later. ;) Anybody pick up on his new kink?
> 
> Third, I KNOW! I gypped you the chocolate scene! In case you were wondering what happened, well... Did you know Hershey's Chocolate Kisses melt at 75 degrees exactly? That makes them perfect for rubbing over skin and licking it off. Just sayin'. 
> 
> NUMBER FOUR: I AM going to write the edging scene I promised you guys in the comments of the last chapter! I was going to do it this one, but it just wouldn't fit. Let's have a little more build-up, shall we? ;) Setaeru, I will write it! Promise! <3
> 
> #5. What did we think about the dynamic that Cas has to think about now?!!?!?!?
> 
> And Numero Seis: As always, I love feedback, and I love hearing from you guys. Please feel free to comment if you want, I love hearing your thoughts! Even if you're a newcomer! (welcome to the party! :D) ALSO, I asked a shit-ton of questions, so for those that follow this story, I be wanting some feedback on that! *squinty eyes* I'm just playing guys, but seriously, I love you guys, and thank you for reading! <3


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No squick. Not even any porn! Ahhh, I know, bummer, right?! Don't worry. We have some coming soon. *insert evil grin*

  
Their shower together is calming and comforting, and Castiel worries. Dean's not telling him something. Something happened to him earlier when Castiel was working. He's just not sure what. He knows Dean's mindset, and he knows that he most likely thought of something that had the potential to hurt him, which is why he wanted to not think anymore. He needed Castiel to take control to make him forget. Which isn't good. They need to talk. And Castiel needs to mention the age-play to Dean. He doesn't honestly think that Dean even realizes that he's doing it. However, if he tells Dean he will most likely withdraw out of embarrassment or shame, and Castiel refuses to make him feel like that. He should really wait until Dean is in a better mindset to accept it. Or at least, that's what he's telling himself.

"Cas? Where are you?" Castiel brings his attention back to Dean. They're lying on the couch watching the end of Armageddon and Dean's on his side, his back pressed firmly against Castiel's chest.  
  
"I'm sorry. I'm here. I was just thinking."

"Wanna share with the class?"

"We need to talk, Dean."

Dean stiffens in his arms and the rigidity of his spine against Castiel only confirms what he already knew. Dean's trying to run away from something. Castiel wraps his left arm around Dean and nuzzles his neck, making him relax a little. "Don't do that. It's not the end of the world, you know."

"Feels like it," Dean mumbles, clearly trying not to show Castiel how tense he is, but he sees it anyway. Dean's nervous. Scared. He has the fleeting thought that this may be more than he's ready to handle, but he dismisses it just as quickly. He wants to do this, and he wants Dean.  
  
"I need you to tell me what happened earlier."

"What? I mean - nothing, Cas. Just wanted you is all."

"That's not the truth, Dean. What have I said about lying?" Castiel growls lowly in his ear and scrapes his teeth across his neck. The next words make him freeze.  
  
"Don't do that." Dean's words are strained and whispered and Castiel pulls away immediately.  
  
"My apologies."

Dean sighs and lifts Castiel's hand off of him and he thinks that he's going to push off the couch but what he does is turn around until he's facing Castiel. They're pressed chest to chest and Dean slides his calf in between Castiel's legs. Dean closes his eyes and tucks his face under Castiel's chin, nuzzling his throat. Castiel wraps his arm around him somewhat hesitantly but is validated when Dean pushes closer, his socked feet rubbing against Castiel's leg. "I'm - I didn't mean to push you into that if it isn't what you wanted. I mean, I did, but not like that - if-"

"Dean," Castiel interrupts firmly, then continues in a soft voice. "I need you to breathe, sweet boy. Just breathe for me. It's alright. I'm here, and I have you, and we're okay, no matter what it was earlier." Dean takes a shuddering breath against his skin and Castiel continues talking. "You didn't push me into anything I didn't want. I greatly enjoyed what we did earlier. Like I always do," Castiel presses a kiss to the crown of Dean's head, "But if you're ready to tell me, I need to know why you initiated that scene. I know something's wrong. I want to help if I can, and I need to understand. Can you tell me?"

Dean takes another shaky breath then stutters, "Y-yeah. Yeah. Just... le-let me find the words."

"Take all the time you need." Castiel holds him tightly, closing his eyes and cuddling Dean, not paying a bit of attention to the end of the movie playing lowly on the flatscreen. It's a couple of minutes before Dean says anything.

"I... When you were writing, and we were sitting there, I just got to thinking. I think too much, I know you know that. Sometimes I just want to get out of my own head so damn bad I can't stand it. And you..." Castiel tenses a bit. Has he done something to hurt Dean?  
  
"You're just amazing Cas. And I'm not. No, I know what you're going to say, but this feels... valid to me." That strips away the rebuttal Castiel had on his tongue and instead of arguing he just lays his cheek against Dean's hair, listening. "I just honestly have no idea what someone like you is doing with somebody like me and that's why I was - that's what the crying was about earlier. I'm just so happy, Cas. That I met you, that I'm here, that you actually want me. I can't wrap my head around it. And... And I got to thinking about the BDSM thing."

"Dean, you know that's not something we have to do, I don't-"

"Shut up, Cas. Just lemme finish before you jump the gun, okay?"

"Fine," Castiel grumbles, wondering how the hell it is that he and Dean got to this point. It's almost laughable. Dean continues, "I know you've had a bunch of subs before me, but none that you really uh, dated, like me. So I guess you're new to it too, but, I was reading earlier, while you were working-"

"On your phone?" Castiel interrupts. He does remember Dean sitting next to him on his phone for quite a while.

Dean sighs. "Yes, Cas. Anyway, I was reading some websites, looking into the whole Dom/sub thing. And I realized that... I'm not exactly, uh..."

"You're not what, Dean?"

"What you probably, uh, need - from all this I mean-"

"Let me stop you there-"

"But-"

"No, Dean. I'm not going to have you thinking that. I am a Dom, yes, but I am a person first. I am a boyfriend first when it comes to you. What a website tells you I might need is not necessarily true. Do I desire control? Yes. Do I crave it? Yes. Do I need it to be happy in a relationship? The answer is no. If we were to stop exploring that dynamic I would be happy to have you, Dean, regardless. I would miss it. But it would be worth it. It's not something I require. It's something I indulge in because I can because I want it. But not because I have to. Do you understand?"

"Yeah," Comes the soft reply, muffled against his throat.

"Look at me."

"Don't wanna," He whispers and Castiel's taken aback.

"Why is that?"

"Don't want to piss you off."

"You're not going to piss me off by looking at me. I'm not very easily angered, Dean. Just look up here a minute. I need to see you."

Dean gently untucks his head and looks up at Castiel, his green eyes wide with uncertainty. And a bloody lip. Castiel's brow furrows and he brings his thumb up to gently swipe at the blood.  
  
"Why did you do that?" It looks as if Dean pulled a layer of skin off with his teeth. Castiel doubts very seriously that he bit it hard enough to do that.

"Nervous habit," Dean replies, looking down at the space between them.

"Look up here," Castiel says softly, and Dean complies, face vulnerable. "Listen. Without saying too much, I just want you to know that you are what I want. I know we're new, we haven't known each other very long, but I've never thought that any of this has anything to do with time periods. Whatever this is between us is real, and I don't want you to think that I am going to require you to be my submissive just because we want to date. That's not how this works."

"That's the thing though, Cas. I wanna- I want..." Dean trails off, looking away again.

"What is it?"

"I want to be your submissive."

"You-"

"No, I mean for real. Like, for real-for real. We're boyfriends, and that comes first for you. I may be a noob but even I can see that. When we scene and stuff it's not like the whole Dom/sub thing that I've been reading about. It's not really what you told me about either. It's something more... for us. And yeah, I love it, I mean, Jesus, it's fucking _awesome,_ but I wanna try it. Like, full-time, 24-hour sub, like how you were with the other ones. I wanna see what it's like."

Castiel's mind feels blank and hot. Dean wants to enter into a _full-time_ submissive relationship?

"I don't mean like, indefinitely. But I wanna try it at least once. If you're willing?" Dean's voice lifts up on the end, clearly turning it into a question. A hopeful question. Castiel is at a standstill.

"Before we discuss this further, I feel there's something I should point out."

Dean shifts uncomfortably. "Okay."

"Our relationship as it stands is highly unorthodox. Normal D/s relationships are built on trust and mutual benefit. Ours was immediately something that it shouldn't have been at a first meeting. Even the way I approached you was completely wrong of me, and I recognize that, though I'm not sorry for it, considering how things turned out," Castiel smiles down at Dean, "However, we completely jumped the gun. And Dean, your enthusiasm for this is unbridled. It's refreshing, and wonderful to see, but you're so new. We know your kinks, and the limits you've set, though I suspect you have a couple of kinks you're not telling me about."  
  
Castiel smirks down at Dean who flushes a light pink and bites his injured lip, and Castiel uses his thumb to pull it from his mouth absentmindedly. "However, you have no idea of your true limits. It wouldn't be right to attempt to do something like that with you and have us going in without the proper information or boundaries. I refuse to do it. I've already set a terrible example for pacing and trust. I'm a better Dom than that and I won't continue to fuck that up."

Dean's thumb traces over Castiel's left eyebrow as the expletive leaves his mouth and he looks down to see that Dean is looking at him worriedly. "Hey. Stop. You haven't fucked anything up. If I hadn't wanted you to do what you did that day in the coffee shop I would've stopped you. You're the best person I've ever met, Cas, and I don't regret a thing. Not any of it. And yeah, I'm new. And we did this all weird and it's a little jacked up, but so what? It's us. And that's okay. I mean, maybe it's not like this on your end, but uh, it seems to be working fine to me. And listen, I mean... Cas, look at me."

There's clearly a command in his voice and Castiel arches an eyebrow at it as his eyes meet Dean's but he says nothing. He doesn't have a right to right now anyway. Dean's verdant green eyes implore him. "You haven't fucked anything up. You're done a great job, far as I can see it. I haven't been hurt a single time, and it's all been amazing. There's nothing wrong with our pace if it suits us."

"It does, I suppose. But still, Dean. Something like that, trying that, isn't something we can jump into. It's been risky enough as it is, and we haven't tested any of your limits. I'd... I'd like to design a scene with that in mind. For next time. Now that you've had some experience we need to revisit the list as well. There are some things we need to add."

"Okay, Cas. I get it. But... after a while, will you consider it? I want to learn. And experience it. With you. Will you show me your world?"

Castiel leans down and presses a kiss to Dean's temple. "Of course, Dean. Anything."

They spend the next hour cuddled on the couch until their stomachs drag them to the kitchen. It's a lazy day. A good day for talking.

  
  
**~Dean~**

  
  
"So who was your first Dom?" Dean questions as they chow down on a pineapple and ham pizza they ordered. He knows that people dis them, but he likes the combination and Cas seems to be pretty ambivalent about it. Castiel chews and seems to regard the question thoughtfully. After he swallows he begins to speak. "My first successful Dom was a man named Cain. He runs the club I was telling you about. He helped me when we learned that I was a Dom rather than a sub. His experience was valuable and precious to me. He taught me everything I needed to know to begin and to do it correctly."

"You said your first successful Dom?"

"Yes. There were two before that that didn't work out. I had one scene with a man named Bartholomew, and we both agreed that it didn't click. The second was with a woman named Anna, and that was also a mutual agreement that neither of us was what the other was looking for. I had met Anna in the club and became a member, and through that, I met Cain. He was..." Cas smiles at the memory, eyes far away. "He was regal, almost. I was entirely surprised when he approached me at the bar. Not long after that, I found myself in his service. We've known each other for over a decade now."

"Do you two ever...?" Dean lets the sentence hang, knowing his implication will be understood.

"Sleep together? No. Not in a long time. After we parted and I began to Dom, we became friends. We haven't engaged in anything sexual in several years. He's a good friend, perhaps the best I have."

"Do you think I could, uh... meet him? I mean, would that be weird?" Dean looks up at Cas, mumbling around a bite of pizza.

"No, of course not. You can meet him if you like. I'm not keeping you a secret, Dean." Cas laughs. "He already knows about you."

"You told him about me?" Dean raises an eyebrow.

"Well, yes. I told you, we're close friends."

"Right. Would we uh, have to go to the club to meet him?"

"Not necessarily. Dean, may I ask what all the sudden interest in all this is? You've never seemed so curious about it."

"I don't know... just wanna learn some more about you is all."

"Of course. I understand. I'd like to get to know you more too. Do you only want to know of my sexual history?"

Dean chuckles and throws a napkin at him, causing the older man to chuckle. "No. I wanna know a lot of stuff. What about you? Anything you wanna know?"

"Who was your first kiss?"

Dean smiles at the memory. He hadn't thought about her in _forever._ "Ahh, yeah, I was like fourteen? I don't even remember where we were, some little town in Missouri. Started with a 'B' I think. Her name was Robin. She was a sweet little dark-haired girl. She was older than me, and she played guitar. She was really sweet, nice, I mean. Not like the preppy cheerleader types. She waved at us when we left."

Cas smiles at him as Dean pulls himself out of the memory. "How 'bout you, Casanova? Who was your first kiss?"

To Dean's utter surprise Cas actually blushes. "Ahh. His name was Cole. I was in the seventh grade. He turned out to be an asshole in high school, but he wasn't a bad kisser to someone that had no experience. And never, ever, call me Casanova again. Just, no." Cas shudders and Dean laughs, leaning back in his chair. This is the shit right here.

  
**~**

  
Cas drags Dean back across the threshold off the front porch and into him by the lapels of his coat and kisses him hard, plundering his mouth with a claiming kiss that has Dean gasping when they pull away.

"I wish you didn't have to go," Cas says against his lips. Dean grins and rubs his palm against Cas's semi in his pants and breathlessly says, "Yeah, I can see that."

Cas grabs his wrist and pulls his hand away with a growl. "Unless you want to be late for work I would suggest you stop teasing me. I have no qualms about _dragging_ you back inside and bending you over the nearest piece of furniture."

Dean shivers. "Fuck Cas. I can't. I gotta go to work. But I'll text you later, okay?"

"Mmm." Cas leans forward and nips at Dean's earlobe. "You better go. I swear you've made me addicted to you."

Dean pulls away with a laugh, swinging his duffle bag over his shoulder, leaving a grumpy Cas standing in the doorway. Dean walks down the stair and throws open the door to the Impala, tossing his duffle in the backseat and closing the door, having to wipe the moisture off his hand since Baby's frosted with dew. He looks up at Cas who's leaning against the doorjamb, looking for all the world like he just got fucked. His hair is everywhere, probably because Dean's been running his hands through it. His lips are kiss-swollen and red, Dean's been nipping at them all morning. His clothes are rumpled because they laid on the floor last night as he and Cas fell into bed together. Dean has his hand on the door handle of the Impala and he's just staring up at Cas. "I'll call you later, okay?"

Cas nods once, firmly, then calls a soft, "Be safe, Dean."

Dean climbs into Baby, shutting the door behind him and settling in behind the steering wheel. It's cold in here, chillier than Cas's house and he kinda misses the coziness already but he does have to adult like a normal person at some point. As he puts her in gear and pulls out of the driveway, he murmurs to himself, _"I will, Cas."_

He doesn't even bother going home, he just drives straight to work. He took a shower at Cas's and he's got his clothes in the trunk. Today's going to be _fun,_ he thinks with an eye roll. Dean brings his work bag in with him as he uses the keycard on the door at the back of the garage. Only he and Benny have a card for the back, everyone else comes through the front. The smell of engine grease greets him and he takes a deep breath, forgetting his previous unhappiness. This smell feels like home. It makes him think of childhood scabbed knees and wrenches too heavy to carry yet, and dirty rags that are permanently stained with engine oil and grease from dozens of calloused hands using it to clean themselves. Dean needs to learn how to be happy with what he has. And right now, he has a job to do. He starts walking forward with a grin and a bounce in his step now, a pleasant ache in his ass making him think of Cas.

"Benny, you here yet?" He hollers through the garage, his voice echoes off the painted concrete and he hears a chuckle from where the front desk is.  
  
"I was here before your ass got out of bed this morning, brother. Where you been?"

Dean bounces with excitement as he walks through the doorway. Maybe today will be a good day after all.

  
**~**

  
Dean whistles lowly when he sees the car. Holy shit. It's a silver beauty. A 1969 Camaro ZL - 1. There were only 69 of them made. It's one of the most coveted Camaros out there, and definitely the rarest.  
  
"Christ," He mumbles, looking over at Benny who's nodding in agreement. The clients are standing behind Benny as Dean inspects the vehicle. Their names are Mr. and Mrs. Zhegorski or something, he thinks that's it, but he's not entirely sure. They're a wealthy looking couple and they seem nice enough, though the woman is a little prissy for Dean to be comfortable around. She looks around the garage and draws her purse closer to her, her upper lip curling in a bit of disgust. He ignores it and focuses on the beauty in front of him. It was a silver sleek thing. Fuck. It was beautiful and he knew Baby'd be jealous to see him looking at another car like this.

"Where did you find this? I've never even seen one." Dean runs his fingertips along the hood in awe. These were speed demons back in their time. They have a rated 430 horsepower, which is insane considering that the 2016 Camaro SS was only 3.5 seconds faster than the 69's. They were the most powerful Camaro in history up until the early 2000's. These things are legends and he's got one right here, raw and waiting for his hands to mold and shape it back into its former glory. Dean may be drooling a little.

"A friend of a friend of a cousin of mine. They knew I was looking for one. It cost me quite considerably." The man says, and Dean nods.  
  
"Yeah, I'd say so. She's a beauty, sir." The man grins and Dean knows he says the right thing. He just landed the job, he knows it.

"What all do you see that needs to be done?" Mr. Zega-borscht says and Dean is silent for a moment, looking it over as he walks around towards the front to check out the engine. He rattles off the problems as he mentally tallies up the price, even though he knows Benny's already doing it.

"Well, there's quite a few dents and scratches along the bumper, I'll have to use a flip, hammer, and dolly. Then body fill them, that'll take care of that. Some sanding to that. There's corrosion along the wheel arches. The back one on the left will need to replaced with a new metal plate. Welded in. The others I can treat with an acid treatment and get rid of easy enough." Dean bends down and looks at the underside of the car. "You'll need a replacement rocker panel. It's rusted out; the frame will fall apart like that." Dean stands up and opens the driver's side door, it screeches. He peers inside.  
  
"Okay, the steering column needs to be replaced, possibly the dash as well. The interior needs to be reupholstered. As far as the engine goes," Dean walks around to the hood. He finds the latch with his fingertips and lifts it and his mouth drops open. "Oh my God."

The machinery, some of it, is still gleaming and proud. The engine is a bulky but smooth, complicated thing clearly speaking of the past, but holy Jesus, it's so pretty. Way back when, this was the engine that the world had never seen. It's a big-block engine; this one's an all aluminum 427 cubic-inch V8. The weight loss from switching over to aluminum for the engine block was what made the ZL - 1 so damned fast. God, he is drooling now. He shakes his head and focuses. "Uh, okay. Let me check this out and I'll see what I can tell just from this. I'll have to dismantle it and I may find more later, I can't get to some stuff right now."

He looks apologetically over at the dude but he just smiles indulgently and Dean gets the fluttery feeling again. He landed the job, he knows it. He spends the next few minutes examining the engine and explaining out loud as he goes. He can feel the old excitement pouring through him as he examines the car. God, he can't believe he gets to work on this beauty. After he's done with the initial inspection the guy starts asking more about his qualifications but he's not upset about it this time. He'd be asking too if he was in the guy's shoes. Everything is smooth sailing and by the time the guy leaves he's on cloud nine. "Benny. _Twenty-two thousand,_ four hundred and forty dollars. I can't believe it."

Benny is grinning like a fool and comes over to clap him on the back. "We're making it, brother." His Cajun accent is soothing and familiar and Dean loses himself in his happiness. Twenty thousand dollars. Jesus Christ, he feels light-headed. This is so amazing.

  
**~**

  
Dean comes home still elated. He's tired but still excited at the prospect of working on the ZL - 1. God, he still can't believe it. He drops his coat and keys on the table by the door and walks to his kitchen, only flipping on a light when he gets there. He roots around in the fridge for a beer and by the time he's cracking it open the phone's ringing in his ear and he's calling Cas. It picks up after three rings.

_"Hello, Dean."_

"Hi there, Cas." Dean can feel himself smiling like a moron but he can't help it.

 _"You sound excited,"_ the man drawls and Dean chuckles as he goes to sit on the couch, using only the light from the kitchen to illuminate it. "Yeah, I'm excited. Remember the Camaro I was telling you about?"

_"Yes, you were meeting the clients today."_

"Yep. Mr. and Mrs. Zorch-skin-burger or something. Anyway, we landed the deal! It's twenty-two thousand so far, but there might be more since I have to dismantle the engine. Twenty-two thousand dollars, Cas. It's the biggest deal we've gotten the entire time we've been running the garage. God, I'm so excited. It's a '69. They only made literally 69 of those. It's like the rarest Camaro out there and I get to work on it." Dean releases a happy sigh, leaning his head back against the back of the couch. Dean can literally feel Cas smiling at the other end of the phone.

_"I like hearing you talk about something you're passionate about. That's great about the deal, Dean. I can see it means a lot to you. I assume Benny was happy as well?"_

"Oh yeah. He's over the moon. This is like a dream come true."

_"I'm happy for you. That must be really amazing for you to be so excited. Are you looking forward to the work?"_

"Hell yeah, I am. I get to dismantle a legend and build it back to its glory with my hands. I can make it shine again and purr like a kitten. I'm frikken... what's the word? I'm..." Dean considers, searching his archives for it. "Buoyant, Cas. I'm buoyant. God, this is going to be so good for us. I can't believe I get to rebuild a ZL - 1. It's a literal dream. You should see her, man."

_"I don't need to. I can imagine it. The way you talk about it makes it feel like a tangible thing, even though I've never laid eyes on one, to the best of my knowledge. It sounds beautiful."_

"God, she is. She's definitely gonna look better when I get through with her," Dean grins, "So anyway, how'd your day go?" Dean takes a long draw from his beer, his stomach reminding him he needs to rummage for some Ramen noodles when he's finished with the beer.

_"It went well. I spoke with an associate of mine. He's in South Carolina and he's studying down there. The purple honey is baffling him."_

"Purple honey?"

_"Yes, there's many different theories about why it exists, but no solid ones. Nothing makes sense on a scientific level for it."_

Dean listens as Cas explains about the various theories behind the purple honey and he makes and eats his Ramen noodles as he does, chicken flavor - those are his favorite. He drained them and put ranch dressing in them and now he twirls them around his fork as he listens to Cas's soothing cadence. He didn't realize that he had missed his voice today. When he says as much, Cas hums. _"I missed you today too. I kept looking up expecting to see you in the doorway. Imagine how disappointed I was every time I looked up to see just empty air and not your freckle-faced beauty."_

They both laugh at Cas's tone and Dean puts his empty bowl on the coffee table and lays down on his couch, holding the phone to his ear and cuddling into the thick cushions. They're soft and big and he likes them. He unbuttons and unzips his jeans and just leaves them like that, still pulled up over his hips and he just relaxes. They talk about mindless things, small things. Dean tells Cas about Sam, and Cas shares his college stories about living in a dorm with his brother and how he was constantly being harassed by the campus police because the things Gabriel would do and blame on Cas. They laugh about the story of how Sammy snorted a milkshake out his nose once and Cas makes Dean burst out laughing when he tells him about a prank he played on his friend Balthazar when they were in high school. It's the best way to unwind ever. Dean couldn't be more comfortable right now. _"Dean?"_

"Mmm, yeah?"

_"When do you have two consecutive days off in a row?"_

"Uhh..." Dean wracks his brain. "I think... I have this weekend off. Why?"

A pleased hum comes across the line. _"That gives me plenty of time then."_

"Plenty of time for what?"

_"You'll see."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unless my pacing is fucked up, you'll be getting your edging in the next chapter Setaeru! <3 
> 
> I hope you guys liked it, and if you couldn't tell, I may be a little bit of a Camaro fanatic. Granted, I know nothing about restoration, I do love the cars, they're my fucking fave. Aaaaanyways, I hope y'all enjoyed it and as always, if you wanna drop a comment feel free. I love you guys! <3


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to split this chapter because it turned into a monster. I've named it Leviathan in my head. You shall see why. This is gonna be so much fun. *grins* Unfortunately for you, the next half of the chapter will have to wait until I'm finished writing it. Ahh, sadness, I know. :D But I'll make it better. :) 
> 
> I hope you guys like it!
> 
> Many thanks to Supernatural_sexpistol for the beta read, without whom this chapter would be comma-riddled and Cain wouldn't know how to talk properly. <3 
> 
> Malaikat means Angel. <3

Dean wakes up in bed with his alarm blaring and his muscles protesting the movement. Fuck, he needs to ask Cas what kind of bed he has because Dean's is about as comfortable as laying on a pile of gravel. He rolls over and smacks his alarm for it to stop screaming at him and collapses back into the pillow. His eyes flutter closed and he mentally reminds himself that he can't go back to sleep... Can't go back to sleep... _Bing!_ His eyes jolt open and he looks around blearily. Shit, he fell back asleep. He grabs his phone off the dresser and sighs in relief when he sees that it's only been ten minutes since his alarm went off. Dean opens the message with a lazy smile when he sees that it's from Cas.

 **7:31 AM: <Cas:** _Dean, are you awake yet? I believe you have work today._

 **7:32 AM: >Dean:** _Yeah. Thanks for the wakeup call. I fell back asleep. Good morning_

Dean rolls out of bed and phone in hand, he walks to the bathroom. He takes care of business, washes his hands and then heads for the kitchen. He needs coffee and he needs food. He's determined today is going to be just as good a day as yesterday was.

  
  
**~Castiel~**

  
  
Castiel settles down at his desk and begins to attempt to write an article for a magazine that he's been offered a place in but his focus is everywhere. He can't seem to get a single sentence down without his mind wandering off to some distant place. After forty-five minutes of endless backspacing and frustration, he gives up. He is never so distracted but something's off today. Without thinking too much about it, he drags his cellphone out and presses two on the speed dial. It picks up after two rings.

_"Hello?"_

"Cain. It's Castiel. How are you?" His friend laughs, his voice hearty and deep and Castiel feels put at ease as he leans back in his chair.

_"I'm doing well. And you? How is Dean, by the way?"_

"He's fine. We're... wonderful, honestly."

 _"So is this a social call or is something wrong?"_ At Castiel's silence, Cain hums. _"Ahh. Well then, if everything's wonderful, what is it that's bothering you?"_

"You always could read me."

 _"It's a skill I've never lost."_ Castiel smiles at the man's words. _"Seriously, boy. What is it? Can I help with something?"_

"Umm. I'm not sure."

_"You're... not sure... Okay. Can you tell me what this is about? Why'd you call me?"_

"I've been trying to write an article and I'm not focused enough to do it. Calling you was just my first thought. I'm sorry if I've interrupted something."

 _"No, I always have time for you, don't be ridiculous."_ There's the sound of creaking leather in the background and Castiel knows Cain is settling into the chair behind his desk. _"Tell me what's on your mind."_

Castiel pinches the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and his thumb, closing his eyes. "I think I've made a mistake. Several actually."

_"Oh? Tell me what's happened."_

"I just... The way I approached Dean, the way we've been scening. I'm not sure I'm doing right by him. Yesterday he asked me if we could scene with him as a 24-hour sub, treating him as a sub and not a boyfriend first. He's new to BDSM. I'm his first partner that's been interested in kink, and he's completely enthralled by it. I'm wondering if it's too much too fast."

_"Does it feel like it's too much?"_

Castiel considers. "Not really. It's... Dean's wonderful. Our dynamic is powerful. I've never met anyone like him."

_"Does it feel like it's too fast?"_

"Ahh... No. But I feel like it should feel that way, I suppose."

 _"I understand. Malaikat, listen to me."_ At the old Indonesian title, Castiel closes his eyes, listening closely. _"If you feel that you need to slow down, you can. If you are comfortable with the pace, but only feel that you should be concerned about it, perhaps you should talk to your boy about it, but it is alright to feel that way."_

Cain's voice is releasing tension in him that he didn't know he had. Having his teacher tell him it's alright makes him feel so much better about it. _"We all make mistakes, even me, as you know."_ He laughs, _"But I don't think that you should stress yourself unduly over this. Is Dean happy? Do you make him happy?"_

"I... Yes. Yes, I do."

_"Does he make you happy?"_

"Yes."

_"Then you have nothing to worry about. Perhaps you two should get to one another more before attempting an extended scene such as that, but if you feel you can handle it-"_

"No. I told him last night we needed more time."

_"Good. You've been beating yourself up over this, haven't you?"_

"Some. The way I approached Dean was completely wrong on my part, I'm still not even sure what possessed me to make a move such as that."

_"Has he said anything about it?"_

"He said that if he hadn't wanted it he would've stopped me. And that he's happy."

_"So neither of you regret it? Your meeting?"_

"No, of course not."

_"Then what're you worried about?"_

Castiel laughs aloud. "You always seem to know what to say."

_"They tell me it's a gift. Am I going to be meeting Dean anytime soon?"_

"He wants to meet you. I'm not sure he'd be comfortable coming to the club, I think the thought intimidates him. Perhaps we could meet at the coffee shop?"

_"The one with the blue-"_

"Yes." Castiel interrupts with a grin.

_"Do you have a time in mind?"_

They make plans to meet later next week. Castiel will have to run it across Dean to get his schedule, but it's a tentative plan anyway. They talk about the club and some casual things for the next few minutes before Castiel decides to try to work on his article again; he feels better now. "Thank you, Cain."

_"You're welcome, Malaikat. Anytime. Take care of yourself and your boy. I'll see you soon."_

"Of course. Goodbye."

_"Goodbye."_

The line clicks off and Castiel hangs up with his heart feeling lighter. He closes his eyes for a moment and leans his head back against the chair, just breathing in the silence of his home. He feels better now, clearer and less burdened.

  
  
**~Dean~**

  
  
_"Dr. Bradbury's office, this is Roxanne, how may I help you?"_

Dean bites his lip and tries to think of the speech he had laid out but everything seems to have fallen out of his mind and his tongue is heavy.

_"Hello?"_

"Ah, uh, sorry. Hi. I'm c-calling to make an appointment?" It comes out more of a question and Dean winces. Dammit. He hates making appointments.

_"Yes, sir. May I have your name?"_

"Dean Winchester." He can hear the sounds of the keyboard clacking in the background and the tension in his chest is thick and heavy. It's making his palms sweat. He hates phone calls.

_"Okay, is this your first appointment with us or are you returning?"_

"Ahh, first. I've never been there before."

_"Okay. That's fine. What is the reason for your visit? A standard physical or something specific?"_

"Ah, umm, I was wanting to ask about... antidepressants..." Dean winces and shuts his eyes, chewing on the inside of his cheek with his canine slicing through it, not deep enough to draw blood.

_"That won't be a problem. What's your date of birth, sir?"_

Dean tells her and they get his appointment worked out for nine days from now, at three in the afternoon. He hopes Cas is free and can come with him. They get off the phone when that's finished and Dean rubs his hand over his face, feeling tired from all the stress that call just gave him. Thank God it's almost quitting time. He just wants to go sleep. He hates the pressure of phone calls and talking to people like that. He wants Cas.

  
**~**

  
Dean's raised fist hesitates before coming down to knock gently on the painted wood of Cas's door. He knocks quietly, almost like he doesn't want Cas to hear it. But he knows he really does want him to hear it and come to the door. He's just nervous. He knows that Cas said he's more than welcome to come in but he didn't tell Cas he was coming or anything else so that just seems rude. He's actually not sure Cas is even home. Dean's about to walk off the porch and just go home when the door opens and Cas is standing there in nothing but black and grey cuffed yoga pants, like the ones Sam used to wear, and a black tank-top. He looks rumpled and sexy; like he's been working out.

"Well, hello, Dean. I wasn't expecting you."

"Ah, I know. I'm sorry. I should've called." Dean rubs the back of his neck self-consciously.

"No, it's alright. Come on in. Are you okay?"

Cas steps backward and Dean walks in next to him, feeling very overdressed in his jeans and flannel. Cas shuts the door behind him and tilts his head a little. Cas' house is dark right now for some reason and only the light from the sunset is coloring the air and it's faint and watery so it's mostly dark and shadowy with tints of orange filtering through the frosted glass in tangerine streaks on the floor, it feels intimate and Dean finds that he actually likes it. He revels in it in fact. He craved it today. The silence of their hushed breathing wraps around him like shadows and Dean leans his back against the wall, closing his eyes and breathing in Cas's air. The knot of tension in his chest he's been carrying since this morning finally releases and he can take a deep breath. Finally, silence. All day it's been buzzing voices and phones ringing and the hammering of metal on metal and Dean's feels like he's been strung tight like a bowline fixing to snap and somebody's finally relieving the tension.  
  
"Dean, are you alright?"

Dean nods and opens his eyes, finding Cas's blue ones looking at him from only a few inches away. Dean can feel the heat off his body. "I am now."

Cas puts a hand on his hip and draws him close, giving him a chaste kiss on the lips. "Did something happen today?"

"I called the doctor. I have an appointment soon."

"Oh, well that's good news then."

"Yeah..." Dean nods, "Cas, 's'it okay if I stay here tonight?"

"Of course. You're always welcome here. Besides, I miss you." Cas's palms land on his hips and he leans forward and draws him into another kiss that leaves Dean smiling and happy. "I miss you too."

Dean sleeps in Cas's bed that night, being the little spoon and with Cas wrapping his arms around him. He doesn't care. Waking up to morning kisses instead of the screaming alarm is wonderful and seriously something he could get used to. It's so much better than waking up alone. He goes to work much happier with a full stomach of eggs and sausage and a carry-cup of coffee in hand. He even gets a kiss from his boyfriend before he goes off to work. It's surprisingly domestic and Dean loves it.

  
**~**

  
The rest of Dean's week flies by in a blur of engine parts, monetary figures and phone calls with Cas. The contract goes up to almost thirty-two thousand for the restoration and Benny's beside himself with glee that looks seriously weird on the Cajun, but Dean's glad to see him happy. Hell, he's happy about it too. The garage hasn't been doing _bad,_ but it's hasn't been great and this restoration will definitely help push them in the right direction. He collapses into his bed at night and tiredly calls Cas after his shower and they talk. More than once Dean falls asleep to the sound of his voice, but Cas likes that for some reason. Something about liking that he relaxes Dean. Dean'd apologized for it anyway. By the time the weekend rolls around he's nearly swimming in excitement at what Cas has planned. He's been dropping hints all week about what's going to happen and he's nearly vibrating with energy. After work he drives home and showers, doing a full body clean in the process. He manages a quick sandwich as he packs his bag. He had forgotten to make himself lunch before leaving for work this morning so he's hungry as hell. He packs his duffle bag and tosses it in the back seat of the Impala and begins the journey to Cas's.

He considers calling but nah, Cas knows he's coming. When he gets there he gets greeted at the door with a kiss and Dean wonders why he ever leaves. Cas tells him they're not scening today and instead of being disappointed like one would think, Dean's perfectly content curling up next to his boyfriend on the couch and watching The Incredible Hulk. The Edward Norton one. Dean likes that one best. They eat too much popcorn and Cas licks salted butter of Dean's lips and that shouldn't be sexy but it is. Then he breaks out a bag of M & M's he had hiding somewhere and Dean gets even more excited. He lays his head on Cas's shoulder as they watch Ed freakout about his infected blood landing on the bottles where he works, and just cuddles him. He feels content. They eventually drag themselves to bed, Dean's tired brain resisting forcing his body off the couch to wander to the bedroom. The next morning he finds himself being accosted by a black and white contract while he eats sweet oatmeal at the kitchen table. It's their contract. The one for their limits and kinks. Who woulda thought kinky sex discussions over breakfast would be so popular?

  
**~**

  
Dean's naked, kneeling on the padded floor of the playroom with his head bowed, his knees spread and his hands clasped behind his back. His breathing is a little fast. He's anxious, but thankfully the sound is muted in the empty room. Cas told him to come down here, to strip and kneel, and wait for him. And Dean's going to be good. He knows Cas has been planning this all week and he's very excited. He's hoping it's something like what they talked about the other day. Dean takes a deep breath and tries to center himself. They updated their contract, and there are more things on it now that Dean is willing to try. And Cas had promised him it would be Dom first this time. Boyfriend always, but Dean knows he's going to be sterner now and he's going to have to be on his best behavior if he wants to be good for Cas. His ears prick when he catches the sound of bare feet quietly making their way down the stairs. Dean keeps his eyes on the floor, even when the door opens and he hears Cas's footsteps come inside. Dean's facing the wall with the holes, so he can't see Cas anyway. He makes sure to be still and tries not to think about how hard his heart is pounding. The footsteps come towards him and then there's a soft caress along his shoulder.

"Good boy; doing as I asked. You look perfect," Cas purrs.

"Thank you, Sir." Dean murmurs, his heart feeling like it's galloping out of his chest.

"I'm going to blindfold you."

"Yes, Sir."

They had agreed that with this being a more serious scene to test Dean's limits that they would use the stoplight system. As the cool material of the blindfold slips over his face Cas asks, "What is your safeword, kitten?"

"Shinedown."

"Good boy. Stay here."

Cas walks away and Dean can hear him puttering around in the drawers behind him, their quiet swooshing sounds already familiar and making him excited. He focuses on calming himself and listening as Cas gathers things, he assumes. Cas walks by him and Dean hears a weird sound on the wall in front of him. Cas said he's allowed to talk unless explicitly told not to, so he's going to hope it's okay to ask. "What is that?"

"You'll see. I think you'll like it."

Dean doesn't answer but hums in acknowledgment. For the next three minutes or so, by Dean's count, he just sits there waiting on Cas to be finished. A hand lands in his hair and Dean startles, flinching slightly. "Off in your head somewhere, sweet boy?"

"No. I'm here, Sir."

"Good. Stand up."

Cas's hands come to cup his elbows and Dean stands, his legs a little shaking from his kneeling but he's fairly spry so they don't hurt or anything. "I'm going to walk you to the wall."

Dean steps forward confidently under Cas's guidance and when he reaches the wall Cas spins him around until his back is pressed against it. Lips capture Dean's and he kisses back enthusiastically but keeps his hands to himself even as Cas's roam down Dean's ass and grab him, forcing him up onto the balls of his feet and pressed into Cas's body. He moans into Cas's mouth and with a final bite to his bottom lip Cas pulls away. Dean hears the whisper of rope and he offers his wrists up without Castiel asking.

"Good boy," He murmurs and begins tying his wrists. Dean doesn't recognize the knots being blindfolded but knowing Cas it's probably a square knot. "Arms up above your head."

Dean holds them straight above his head and he hears the swoosh of rope and then there's tension in his arms as he's being pulled up higher. It stops when he's settled on the balls of his feet and he's already trembling with need. This is going to be awesome, he already knows it. He pulls on his arms a little bit and they don't give so he's already secured then, somehow. He'll have to ask Cas later. "Alright Dean, left leg up, bend your knee."

Dean furrows his brow but complies easily and feel's Cas's fingers caressing the inside of his thigh as it slides down to cup his knee and he guides his leg over something. "This is a padded shelf, more or less. It will support your weight. I'm putting both your legs over them."

Dean knows that's Cas's way of affirming that Dean's still okay with it without outright asking him. Dean doesn't have any sort of urge to stop so he says, "Okay."

His left leg is guided over the soft, but firm, platform thing, and it's actually kind of comfy. The process is repeated with his right leg and now he's being supported by mostly his legs. The backs of his thighs sit comfortably on the padded things, leaving his ass exposed to the open air. The slack that appeared in his arms disappears with the dragging sound of the rope and then his body's flush against the wall again and he's taut with tension. "Can you spread your legs farther?"

"Yeah, I think so, Sir."

Dean arches his back and maneuvers his hips back, shuffling his legs further back along the shelves. Cas helps him by pushing his knees. He feels his left one brush the wall but lets it slide back down an inch or two. "I think that's as far as I can get."

"Good boy. Look at you. You're all spread out and open for me. Color?"

It takes Dean a second to realize what Cas is talking about but as soon as he does he says, "Very green, Sir."

"Good," Cas purrs, licking a long stripe up over Dean's jaw and along to his ear where he pulls at the lobe between his teeth. "This is going to be so much fun."

 

**~Castiel~**

 

Dean trembles under his hands as Castiel runs them over his ribs and down to his hips, ghosting lightly over his legs and cupping his knees as he leans in to nibble at his bottom lip. He draws him in for a soul-searching kiss. Castiel feels as if his blood is on fire. "You're so pretty for me, you know that, baby boy?"

Dean whimpers and bares his throat so Castiel runs his mouth down it, biting gently over the exposed skin. He sucks a mark at the juncture between his shoulder and his neck and Dean moans, thrusting his hips forward, searching for friction. "I'll be right back, sweet boy. Stay."

Castiel walks over to the counter where he has the toys he chose for today laying out. He grabs the Paloqueth wand vibrator, a large purple dildo, the lube, and the metal nipple clamps. He turns around and is instantly aroused at seeing Dean spread out and tied up on the shelves, tremors running through him and cock already hard.

"God, you are perfect," Castiel murmurs and Dean twitches. Castiel moves in front of Dean and sets the toys there on the carpet. He drops to his knees in front of Dean, looking up at his beautiful boy all tethered and aching for him. He runs his hand lightly up Dean's upper thigh and _delights_ in the way his boy shivers.

"Do you know what we're doing today, pet?"

"Y-you said you wanted to test my limits."

"That's right. So you know what I'm going to do?"

"What, Sir?" Dean asks breathlessly, his mouth falling open and his pink tongue snaking out to lick his lips. Castiel wraps his fist around Dean's cock and starts jacking him loosely. He keeps the pressure light and frustrating. He wants Dean all hot and bothered before they start. "You are not going to cum until I say. Do you understand?"

Dean nods enthusiastically. "Yes, Sir." He moans when Castiel brings the tip of his cock into his mouth and swirls his tongue around the slit. He thrusts his hips abortively and Castiel pulls away with an eyebrow arched. Dean calls it his Dom Brow. "If you can't keep still I will secure your knees to the wall as well," Castiel narrows his eyes at the tremor that runs through Dean. He stands and runs his right hand through Dean's hair. "Would you like that, kitten? Do you want to be completely restrained, left to my mercy? Hmm? Use your words, baby boy."

"Yes," He gasps. "Please, Sir. I want it. Wanna be tied up. Please? Please, I want-"

"Shh, sweet boy. I have you." Castiel cards a hand through Dean's hair, in awe of him. "You are so perfect, you know that? Look at you. Just wonderful. So beautiful begging for me to tie you up. You sound so sexy when you say please."

Dean whimpers and squirms, his hips thrusting the air abortively. "I'm going to get the rope." Castiel growls in his ear and Dean bites his lip. Castiel walks to the other side of the room, having to adjust his partial erection in his pants when he reaches the counter. He pulls one of them open and removes the small coils of hemp rope. It's soft, so when Dean pulls on it it won't leave marks, hopefully. He walks back over to Dean and without saying anything and begins to loop the rope through the hole in the wall by Dean's knee, and he wraps it around his skin, pulling his knee back to the wall. He repeats it on the other side and when he looks up Dean is breathing heavily, open-mouthed panting and cheeks flushed pink.

"I haven't touched you and you're already panting for me. Are you ready to play, kitten?"

"Yes, Sir. So, so, ready."

Castiel grins at his enthusiasm and drops to his knees, not hesitating in grabbing the lube and slicking the fingers on his right hand up. He reaches up with a smirk and begins to circle them around Dean's rim. Dean moans and tenses. "Ah, ah. Let me inside, baby boy. Relax for me."

Dean visibly relaxes and Castiel shakes his head. How did he get so lucky? His middle finger slips inside and he revels in the little whimper he gets for it. He begins to thrust his finger in and out slowly, working Dean open until he can add another. Without warning, Castiel curls his fingers at just the right depth and rubs against Dean's prostate. His boy's back arches away from the wall and keens loudly. "Oh fuck!"

"Yes. There he is. That's it." Castiel murmurs, pleased. God, Dean is so responsive. He's literally amazing. Castiel adds a third finger and Dean twists in his bonds, trying to fuck himself on Castiel's finger. He lets him. The more desperate Dean is for an orgasm the sweeter the torture of not getting one will be. When Dean is loose and slicked open Castiel removes his fingers and Dean whimpers at the loss. "Hush, sweet boy. What color are you?"

"Green, Sir." Is the prompt reply and Castiel smiles. He wipes his hand off on his pants and grabs the vibrating dildo and proceeds to drizzle lube on it. It's seven inches long and rather thick. Castiel originally bought it because it's close to his own size, and he has a feeling Dean will appreciate that. It'll work perfectly for Castiel's purposes. When the tip presses against Dean's rim, he gasps, "Sir!"

"You're going to like this, I think. Relax for me, sweet boy."

Dean moans when the tip pops inside him and Castiel smiles, trying to ignore the throbbing arousal in his pants. He gently starts to thrust it in and out of Dean's hole, slowly letting him take more and more of it, inch by inch. When it's pressed all the way inside him, Dean does a full body shudder. "Oh, that feels so good, doesn't it, baby boy?"

"Yeah. Oh God, yes. Yes, Sir."

"I thought so." Castiel smiles. He wonders how Dean will react when he realizes what Castiel has in store for him. Castiel presses it just a bit further inside of Dean until his rim swallows up the narrowed part of the dildo before it flares out at the base. It works something like a plug and Castiel doesn't have to hold it there. He flicks the switch on the bottom to turn on the vibrations to the lowest setting and Dean moans, rocking his hips. "Do you like that?"

"Yes, Sir!" Dean gasps, "Oh, fuck!" Dean bites his lips and stifles the rest of his sounds but Castiel knows they're there. He's going to make Dean _scream_ today.

 

**~Dean~**

 

Dean whimpers and tries not to rock his hips into the fold of Cas's fist. He's jerking him too lightly to really do anything but it feels so good. Whimpers fall from his lips when Cas's hand disappears and Dean has to bite his lip to stifle his noises. He hears a click and a low buzzing but he doesn't connect the sound to reality until there's something soft and buzzing on the underside of his cock and Dean shrieks, arching his back and struggling against his bindings. The sensation pulls away and Cas's voice brings him back to earth. "Color, Dean."

"G-green, Sir. Sorry. Just wasn't prepared."

"That's the point, baby boy." No sooner than he's said that does the sensation start up again, running lightly along the underside of his cock, moving from the base to the tip. It swirls around the tip, leaking pre-cum making the slide slick and Dean shrieks again, trying to control himself but completely failing. Holy fuck, he's never felt anything like this. There's another click and then the vibrator is moving back down his shaft, only to press against his taint and Dean arches up in his binds, trying to get away from the sensation, oh God it feels so good. He whines when Cas's hand comes up to fondle his balls. The vibrations increase on the dildo in his ass and Dean feels like he's trembling apart, held together by only thin strands of yarn and trembling moans.

"Sir!" He whines, unable to hold it back.

"Are you enjoying yourself, pet?"

 _"Yesss!"_ Dean whimpers, long and drawn out, his body bowing. Suddenly the vibrator in him shifts and it's purring right up against his prostate. He flails and thrusts his hips into the air, humping little circles back against the dildo.

"You know the best part about this vibrator I'm running along your cock? It has twenty different settings."

Dean trembles at the thought and tries to ignore the rising need to cum because he knows that Cas will stop when that happens. The vibrator moves from his taint to the base of his cock, nestled against his balls and for the love of all that's holy, it starts pulsing. It has a rhythm and it crumbles Dean's will to stay cognizant and he totally gives himself over to the sensations coursing through his body like thunder.

 

**~Castiel~**

 

Castiel smirks as he tortures Dean with the vibrator, running it up over his turgid cock, and around his balls. Castiel leans back on his heels, not ceasing his motion, but takes in the sight before him. Dean is vibrating with need, he's trembling and covered in a fine sheen of sweat, his golden skin flushed and begging to be licked. His cock is leaking a nearly steady stream of pre-cum onto the floor, gasping and whining on every breath as he thrusts his hips abortively into the air. Castiel is perfectly content on his knees here, watching Dean come apart under his hands.

"Sir! Cum! Gonna cum if you d-don't stop! Oh, God!" Dean yells and Castiel immediately turns the dildo off, and removes the vibrator from Dean, turning that off too and laying it beside him. He stands and moves in close to Dean, making sure his body doesn't brush his sensitive cock. He grasps Dean's face in his hands, soothing his whimpering boy as he trembles with need, sweating and flushed and gorgeous.

"You're a _mess,_ baby boy. A beautiful mess. Color?"

"G-green. Green, Sir. Oh - oh God." A tremor runs through Dean and Castiel smiles and runs a hand through Dean's damp hair, quieting the whimpers. "You're doing so good for me, you know that? You're lovely like this."

"Tha-thank you, Sir." Dean manages, a small smile gracing his lips. They look dry. "Would you like some water?"

"Yes, please."

Castiel moves away and grabs a chilled bottle from the mini-fridge and brings it back to Dean. He twists the cap off and gingerly nudges the bottle against Dean's lips, tipping it up and pouring the liquid into Dean's mouth when his pink lips part. He drinks his fill and then Castiel caps the bottle and sets it on the floor. "Color for continuing."

"Beyond green, Sir."

"Good. Because I wanted to add something to the mix." Castiel bends and grabs the nipple clamps from their place on the carpet and stands back up. He puts the chains over his shoulder and licks both his thumbs, then proceeds to rubs the pads of them over Dean's nipples. His mouth drops open in a pant and he pushes his chest out against Castiel's touch. He smiles and murmurs, "Beautiful boy," as he begins to flick them. The pink color of Dean's flushed cheeks travels down to his chest and his nipples are perky and pink. "You seem to enjoy these, so I thought we'd use them today."

He clamps Dean's right nipple with the metal and Dean moans loudly. Castiel smiles. Good. That was just the reaction he was looking for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, I know. I'm cruel, aren't I, gaybies? I'll give you more soon. <3 
> 
> As always, much love for reading, and comments are cookies for me, so if you wanna, feel free to feed the muse. 
> 
> P.S. After this next scene is over, we're going to be getting more plot heavy, and more populated with characters and such, but I think we started the boys off with a good bang, yeah? Literally. 
> 
> .... 0.0 I totally just Balthazar-ed right there... Okaaaay then. Love you guys.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short, (Real short y'all) but this is to announce *Casifer's voice* I'm back, baby! I AM still writing, I HAVEN'T forgotten about you guys, and I will be updating a bit more regularly than every few months lmao. I'm super busy with my new job and fiance, but Zippers is back on track and booming, guys! There'll be more Destiel feels and smut soon, I promise! Thank you for all the patience and all the love I get on this story, and you guys are literally the absolute best! Hope everyone's doing good out there.

  
Dean writhes and rocks his hips against  Castiel’s hand, the one that’s thrusting the vibrator in and out of his hole, not the one that’s steadying him against the wall because Dean’s moving so much. He’s been moaning and shrieking for so long it hurts to swallow because his mouth is so dry but he doesn’t want it to stop.    
  
The vibrations keep getting stronger and stronger until he’s almost on the verge of cumming, but then Castiel backs back down and takes the vibrator away, leaving Dean to shake and moan pitifully, clenching on empty air. His nipples are sore and aching and every breath of chilled air from Cas’s mouth is making him arch and shriek, he’s so sensitive. He’s pretty damn positive Cas has been sucking on ice because when his lips wrap around his abused flesh, it’s cold like winter air and feels  _amazing_ on his heated skin. Cas’s arm thrusts forward and Dean feels his knuckles brush against his ass cheeks and the vibrator changes angles so that it’s buzzing pressed right against his abused prostate, the vibrations so strong his body arches off the wall, straining against his restraints and his thighs screaming at the stretch.   
  
Cas asks, “Color?”   
  
“Green," He shouts.   
  
The feeling of all his extremities going numb and his entire center being compressed under enormous pressure grows until he feels like he’s going to combust, shatter completely and violently all over the room and his mouth is releasing a constant stream of whimpers and shrieks, all intermingling in a song of pure need and want and mindless pleasure.   
  
“ _Sir!_ Please!” He’s so exhausted, gasping the words out with barely a rush of air across his tongue, his entire being shrieking and pleading for Sir to let him cum, to let him finish before he’s just blown into nonexistence with need.    
  
"Need- need to cum. Please,” He whimpers, exhaustion taking over his pleasure-hazed brain and making him slur his words.  Castiel’s  deep voice whispers against his ear, making him shiver and pump his hips into Cas’ hand with the motion. “That’s my good boy,” he  _purrs,_  “So beautifully good for me. You’d just give yourself over to me, wouldn’t you? If I said you couldn’t cum right now?”   
  
Cas leaves the question open-ended but Dean vaguely recognizes what he means. A pitiful whine becomes words and he says, “Then I wouldn’t... I w-wouldn't cum, Sir. I’m yours.” Dean forces his eyes open and looks at Cas, pulling away enough he can look him in the eye, those deep blue eyes of his, and says, “I’m completely yours. B-belong to you, Sir. You can do.... whatever you want with me.”   
  
Cas’ face is still for a moment and then it splits into a giant grin. He leans forward and captures Dean’s mouth in a soul-crushing kiss. When he pulls away, he nips at Dean’s bottom lip,  hard,  and he whimpers. “Damn straight I can. Cum for me, Dean.”   
  
Suddenly Dean’s senses come back to what’s happening to his body and he’s thrown into a tidal wave of overstimulation and the pleasure centers of his brain zing and collide. His focus narrows down onto everything physical- his sweat-slick skin, his abused hole, the rough slide of Cas’s hand on his cock, his panting, Cas whispering in his ear. “Baby boy, I said...  _Cum._ ”   
  
“Sir!”   
  
The build-up finally,  _finally,_  reaches a head and he begins to cum. He seizes in his binds and his legs start to cramp but he barely cares. When hot, wet heat engulfs his cock he shrieks and pumps his hips as best he can into Cas’ mouth, spurting cum across his tongue. Colors continue to explode across the back of his eyelids as he continues to orgasm, all the tension seeping out of him by the millisecond. His mind goes white with the final relief and he buzzes off into an oblivion of pleasure.    
  
** ~ ** ****   
  
His eyes refuse to open, but he doesn’t really care. He’s wrapped in warmth and comfort, and he can feel arms wrapped around him. Deep breath in...   _Cas_.  He’s holding him. A small smile graces his lips as he feels Cas kiss his forehead and Dean stirs a little, wincing at the soreness in his muscles, which aren’t bound any longer. He barely remembers the aftermath. Cas got him down; Dean was shaking and shivering with the cold of the sweat drying on his skin and he remembers not being able to stop the whimpering. It just kept happening, they kept escaping with every jostle of his body and every movement. He should feel embarrassed about that. Dean thinks back to the orgasm he had, about what he experienced being in full submission like that to Cas.  _So worth it_ _,_ he thinks. Music begins to fill his mind and he’s swept away on the current of something familiar tugging at his senses. A song from his childhood, he used to know that song. He loses himself in the notes from Cas and rests his head against his throat, feeling the vibrations, and it’s there that he falls asleep.   
   
  
  
** ~ Castiel ~ **    
  
  
  
_ Slam!  _   
  
Castiel’s eyes bolt open and he looks around wildly, sitting up. Dean is gone, the bed rumpled and empty, the white sheets and brown comforter twisted and rucked up. It’s morning, light is shining through the window and casting yellow stripes across the room, but he has little interest in it right now.  Castiel swings his feet over the edge of the bed; his heart is pounding uncomfortably in his chest and the pit in his stomach churning with dread and fear.    
  
_ What happened?  _ __   
  
The bathroom door is closed and there’s a light on under it. He crosses the distance and presses his ear against the wood and hears the rushing of water and figures Dean is in the shower. Maybe he just slammed the door on accident, waking Castiel. Relief fills him and he knocks on the wood with his knuckle. After a few more moments he raps again but there still isn’t an answer. Feeling slightly more concerned now he opens the door slowly, immediately feeling like he just entered a tropical jungle. Steam is billowing out and the heat wave is enough to make him sweat almost instantly, and he’s glad he’s naked. He can see Dean behind the translucent curtain just standing in the shower, he hasn’t acknowledged  Castiel’s presence or even moved even though he’s already shut the door now and crossed the room. Brow furrowed,  Castiel  pulls the curtain back to peek inside with a tentative, “Dean?”   
  
There’s no answer or even a sign that Dean heard and  Castiel has no idea why. Not one to be precisely tactful,  Castiel steps inside the shower behind Dean and closes the curtain. Dean’s still facing away from him, just letting the water beat down over him and not moving in the slightest. He extends his arm out and when his hand touches Dean’s heated skin there’s no response. “Dean, what is it?”   
  
Concern and worry are welling inside him now and he’s scraping and scrounging his mind for something that might’ve upset Dean but he can’t think of anything. All his responses yesterday were positive. Dean turns around at  Castiel’s insistent push on his shoulder but when  Castiel tries to meet his eyes, Dean’s just look dead and far away. His beautiful voice is just monotonous and dull. “I don’t want to talk about it, Cas. Please leave me alone.”   
  
He’s torn. On one hand, he feels like he should respect the request, but on the other hand, he doesn’t feel like he should just leave Dean alone. It seems callous and uncaring. Instead, he decides to try to figure out what happened. “Is this about yesterday?”   
  
Dean just keeps avoiding eye contact and says, “You didn’t do anything. Don’t worry about it.”   
  
“I’m going to worry about it. If I didn’t, that would mean I didn’t care.”  _ That I didn’t love you. _ The thought comes unbeckoned but is nonetheless true, and he accepts it. Green finally flashes up to meet his eyes and Dean’s face softens. “Yeah?”   
  
“Yes.”  Castiel nods firmly, deciding  _fuck it, _ and reaches out for Dean, who gradually leans into the embrace and then steps into the circle of his arms, leaning his head on  Castiel’s shoulder.   
  
“I’m sorry I’m this way. I don’t mean to be.” The words are muffled into his shoulder which  Castiel can barely make out over the rush of the water but he manages to untwist it into English that is understandable and he responds - “You don’t have to be sorry. I just wish you’d talk to me, tell me what’s going on.”   
  
Dean sighs and tightens his grip on Castiel dramatically, and he responds in kind, guessing that he needs it right now. Dean’s response comes after many long moments of silence where  Castiel is unsure he’s going to speak at all. “It’s just... I had a nightmare. And I, I woke up and said- I said- I said I needed you, b-but you didn’t wake up. I tried to, more I mean, but-but it just hurt and I couldn’t. And I know it’s ridiculous and unfair and I’m not mad- mad or anything, but it still hurts even though I know it doesn’t make sense and I’m sorry, Cas. You didn’t do anything wrong, I’m just being stupid. I’m sorry.”   
  
Dean clings to him and it only seems natural to put a hand in his hair, cradling his head. “Shh, baby. It’s alright. You don’t need to be sorry. It’s okay. I’m sorry I wasn’t there, but I’m here now. I’m here.”   
  
“I just... I came in here to clear my head and try to shake off the bad mood, but it didn’t help and then you showed up, and I didn’t mean to slam the door. I was just kind of mad, but not at you. More at me, and I didn’t mean to wake you up. You were so awesome yesterday and it was amazing and I’m ruining everything and I’m not trying to –” He breaks away with a frustrated groan, “I'm just sorry, Cas-”  Castiel  pulls away to press a press a firm kiss to Dean’s lips, who whimpers in the absence of his babbling words.  Castiel pulls away to look at him; his soft and vulnerable features, so dull and blank only minutes before, now open and scared and slightly hopeful if  Castiel’s not mistaken.    
  
“We’re alright. I’m sorry I didn’t wake up, but you’re not being ridiculous. You needed me and I wasn’t there,” Dean opens his mouth to protest but  Castiel  presses a finger against his lips and Dean dutifully hushes, “But I am here now.” Quieter now, he leans in and presses a kiss to the top of his forehead, whispering against his hair. “I’m sorry I hurt you, love.”   
  
Dean shivers and pulls away a bit, searching  Castiel’s face with his eyes. “Do you mean it?”   
  
Knowing he doesn’t mean if  Castiel is truly apologetic or not, he nods, and Dean breaks out into the most gorgeous smile.  _ And that’s why the ancients worshipped the sun, _ he thinks.  _ He's beautiful.    
_ __   
  
  
~   
   
  
  
“ Would you like to go to the farmer’s market with me? It can wait until tomorrow, but I thought you might like it,”  Castiel’s saying as he puts away his new jars of honey in his kitchen cabinets. Dean went with him to help collect it and had been surprisingly calm as he watched the bees dance around  Castiel as he interrupted their work. He always felt slightly bad about doing that, but it was part of the job. Dean looks up from his plate where he’d been polishing off his lunch with eyebrows raised and surprise written on his face, which then eased into happiness. “Yeah, that’d be cool I guess.”   
  
Castiel nods and turns to straighten the jars but doesn’t miss the soft  _shish shish _of socked feet on the hardwood so he’s not surprised when arms wrap around his waist. Dean leans against his back and holds him tightly from behind. Dean’s only a couple inches shorter than him, so it’s not much to lean his head against Dean’s head where he’s placed it on  Castiel’s shoulder. “Hi there.”   
  
“Hi,” Dean whispers and  Castiel smiles. He sounds so cute like that. He wraps his hands around Dean’s where they’re cupped around his middle and just hold them there, enjoying the solid line of heat at his back. He likes this kind of embrace, it’s not often that he’s had it. Perhaps there’s more to dating than he originally thought. He didn’t realize just how fond of physical contact he actually is until recently. He loves having Dean touch him, no matter the situation or circumstances. He’s hoping having them in a public place together might cement the feeling that they’re real. He’s not sure of course, but so far, they’ve only been together at the coffee shop where they first met, and their houses, so he imagines that for Dean it feels like that’s the only place they exist.  Castiel remembers how scared Dean was that they weren’t real before he dropped the first time and  Castiel feels he has done little to alleviate that. He’s hoping the outing today might help it become more real.   
  
It seems almost surreal to him too, so he can hardly blame Dean. This is all so new and strange and so very different from anything he’s ever experienced, despite his years.    
  
_ Twelve isn’t that much older... _  The voice in his head whispers, but he doesn’t believe it. Sometimes, it feels as if he’s ancient and is observing humanity from some high perch. The differences in his and Dean’s language is one of the biggest factors, and even though they’re part of the same generation, the gap is more than obvious sometimes when Dean mentions something and Castiel has absolutely no idea what he’s talking about. He supposes technically he  _should _ know who Tony Hawk is, but Dean had had to explain it to him. It’s not really a big thing, but he realizes it now that it does bother him at least slightly. _ I will probably pass away before he does,_Castiel thinks and immediately backtracks out of that line of thought. That is way too serious a thought for such a relaxing moment. Dean’s solid arms around him ground his focus and he leans in, smelling his shampoo on Dean’s hair and relishing the moment.    
  
“Cas?”   
  
“Yes?”   
  
“Do... Are we... I’m probably going to sound crazy.”   
  
“I’m fairly positive that’s just how we are, I doubt it’s anything that will surprise me.”   
  
Then in a deathly quiet whisper, “Is this love?”   
Castiel stills and for a few moments, it’s like time’s stopped.  _One_ _heartbeat_.  He can’t lie to Dean.  _Two_ _beats_.  He wants very badly to say yes. _T_ _hree_.  If Dean asked, then he’s feeling it too.  _Finally_ , he thinks. Castiel gently pulls Dean’s grip apart and turns to face scared eyes. He looks into their green depths and nods. “Yes, Dean. I love you.”   
  
Dean lets out a deep breath in a whoosh and collapses into Castiel’s chest, hugging him so tight, squeezing him, and Castiel returns the hug. “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's tiny, but at least I finished the sex scene for you guys? *shrug* There will be more! I promise! Thank you so much for everyone that has continued to hold out hope that I'll actually post something! You guys inspire me.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy it! I finally had time to write the end part.
> 
> FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT MAY'VE GOTTEN A NOTIFICATION ABOUT ME POSTING: I'm sorry. I accidentally posted the next installment before it was ready, so I had to delete it out again. I apologize if anyone got excited. :) Thanks for sticking.

Everyone always acts like the "I love you" moment is something time-stopping and magnificent, a poignant moment where the heartbeat stops and the breath catches. Dean's pretty sure that time didn't stop because he could feel all the blood rushing through his body and the way he could feel his heartbeat pounding in his ears made him dizzy. He could feel every exhale of Cas' breath on his face and when he kissed him, the soft press of his lips felt like everything. So no, he's pretty sure time didn't stop, but it was a fucking awesome moment. One that he's still thinking about hours later. He can barely believe it. He loves Cas. It's really not that hard to admit. It seems so natural. It's like they've always been this way, or it was always meant to be this way. He doesn't understand a single bit of it, but like he's always said, people are crazy.   
  
"Excuse me, youngun, how much are these tomatas?"  
  
An elderly voice penetrates his thoughts and Dean shakes himself out of his reverie. Right in front of the stand, there's a woman - probably verging into her late seventies - wearing a blue dress and with her white curls around her face, she looks like a knock-off of Betty White. "Uhh," Dean looks down and finds the sign on the weather-beaten board, "20 cents apiece. They're really fresh too. We just got these off the vine this morning."  
  
She smiles fondly and extends a shaky hand out to run her wrinkled fingers over the red, ripe skin of several tomatoes. "I remember when I used to grow tomatas. I've always loved the flavor of a good ripe 'un. I'll take 15 if ya got 'em. They'll go good on my bread I made this mornin' with a little mayo, I think."  
  
_Wow, that's a thick southern accent._ He smiles and grabs a grocery bag (Cas saves them when he goes shopping to use for now) and loads fifteen in the bag, the whole time the woman is talking - "An' well, I just don't don't know what I'm going to do with him, he's such a rascal." She shakes her head in exasperation then smiles up at him, her false teeth nicotine yellowed, but a kind smile nonetheless. "Thanks for all the help, and I'll be seeing y'all later."  
  
She waves and just kind of shuffles away, still talking to herself. Dean looks over at Cas who looks like he's trying to fight down a smile.  
  
"What?" Dean asks, beginning to laugh. Cas bursts out laughing, his sunshine smile fills Dean's soul and he starts laughing too. He doesn't even know what he's laughing at, but seeing Cas dissolve into laughter makes him happy, and he feels pleasant and content in the warm shade of the canopy over the stand. Dean wipes away errant moisture from his eye and looks over at Cas, all flushed, tan skin and ruffled dark hair. His eyes are crinkled from either laughter or the brightness of the day and Dean has the sudden urge to kiss him. He doesn't know if it's okay though. They're in public here, a place Cas comes a lot, so Dean's unsure. He looks away and down at the produce, thinking. A voice in his ear makes him jump, "Are the vegetables that interesting?"  
  
Dean turns an looks up at Cas' eyes, then down between them. "Can I kiss you?"  
  
Cas hooks a finger under his chin and lifts it until their lips meet. It's just a soft brush at first, then Cas' tongue slides inside Dean's mouth, making him feel complete and lifting him up on his toes. He places his hands on Cas' waist and grips his shirt between his fingers, just feeling it. Cas gives him a soft peck on the lips then pulls away, whispering against his cheek, "Don't ask stupid questions."  
  
Dean shivers and grins, looking up at him. "You're awesome, you know that?"  
  
Cas nods. "I know."  
  
  
~  
  
  
"Do you want to get some food?"  
  
"What? Like, fast food?" Dean cocks an eyebrow at Cas.   
  
"Well, some form of food we can get fast, yes. Not McDonald's if that's what you're thinking."  
  
"Uh... Okay." Dean's kind of weirded out by a Cas that's willing to eat unhealthy food that doesn't have homegrown vegetables on it but hey, he's not going to complain. They've basically cleared up anyway; already loading up the car with the booth taken down and cleaned. They sold nearly all the produce they had over the course of the day, all that's left is some lonely cucumbers and a few melons. The sun is leaving the sprawling parking lot a mess of orange and purple shadows, deep twisting twilight stripes from the light poles. He likes it. Dean folds up the chair he's been sitting in today and puts it in the backseat of Cas' car next to the crate with the rest of the vegetables then climbs in the passenger seat. Cas gets into the driver's seat more gracefully and starts up the engine, immediately turning on the air. It's hot outside today, and even though it's winding down to evening now, it's still too hot. It feels like he's been put into an oven and set to bake for a while. He pulls up his T-shirt and uses it to wipe his sweaty forehead, relishing the cool air on his bare stomach for a moment. He pulls the shirt back down and reaches around to grab his seatbelt. When he pulls it over his body he meets very intense blue eyes, staring at him with some burning ferocity. He freezes. "What?"  
  
He speaks roughly like the words are forced out of a tight chest. "You are too gorgeous for your own good, Dean Winchester."  
  
Dean feels blood rush to his cheeks and then he's blushing, still holding the seatbelt like a moron. He lets it go and then cocks an eyebrow at Cas. "Oh yeah? You like what you see?"  
  
Cas surges forward and Dean grabs his hair as their mouths mesh, Cas forcing his tongue inside and plundering his mouth, making Dean shiver all over. He whimpers and tugs on Cas' hair with his fingers, while the other hand scrambles around to grab Cas' T-shirt, pulling him in closer, unconsciously undulating his hips. God, he wishes he could get closer to Cas, his body is thrumming with excitement and anticipation. He doesn't think Cas would actually fuck him in the car, at least not here where there's-  _Rap rap rap._ People.  
  
They break apart in confusion at the same time and Dean flushes crimson when he sees someone standing at the front of the car. An elderly man with a cane and a floppy hat gives them double thumbs up and a huge false-teeth grin and starts walking away and Dean bursts out laughing. Cas starts laughing too, and soon Dean can't breathe he's laughing so hard.  _What the fuck?_ He finally finishes giggling and wipes away the tears from his eyes. He looks over to find Cas staring at him with something unreadable but clearly happy in his eyes. "Apparently we did a good job."  
  
"Yes, I guess so. I was not expecting that."  
  
Dean grins, "Me either, but it's definitely one for the grandkids."  _Shit._ He realizes his mistake immediately.  _Fuck._ "Uh, I mean, you know. Separately." Heat fills his cheeks again, this time not having anything to do with arousal or embarrassment. "Uh, anyway, I'm starving, you want to find somewhere to eat?"  
  
He's too scared to look over at Cas but he knows that he stares at Dean for a solid thirty seconds before putting the vehicle in gear and pulling out of the parking spot. Dean clenches the seat on his right side but lets his left hand just rest without doing anything in his lap, not showing his anxiety, though he's sure that Cas can feel it radiating off him in waves. He squeezes his eyes shut tight. _Seriously, did he have to say that? What even made him do that? He knows better._ They pull over abruptly and cars speed by, continuing down the highway past them. Dean glances over and looks away quickly. "Cas, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"  
  
"Hush."   
  
Dean's mouth falls shut with a click of his teeth snapping. It wasn't an order, but he still doesn't want to fuck anything else up. _They were having such a good day too._ "Dean, look at me."  
  
Dean's eyes stay on the dashboard, furiously trying to blink out stupid tears. God, he hates this. "Please."  
  
He sighs deeply. He can't ignore the soft request. He looks over slowly, his fist still clenching the faux leather seat hard enough to hurt his fingers. Cas' eyes are kind when he meets them, soft and understanding. "Dean, it's okay."  
  
Dean shakes his head and looks away again quickly. He can't believe he said that. It's not like he's even thought about kids with Cas, and yet that just popped out of his mouth like it wasn't anything, like they already had kids or something.  _Already?_ Who said they were ever going to have kids. He hears a click and then Cas reaches over and unsnaps Dean's seatbelt. "Come here, baby."  
  
He opens his arms. Dean slides the belt over his right arm and surges into Cas' chest, burying his face in the warmth. He's leaning over the center console uncomfortably, but the comfort of draping himself over Cas is greater. Cas wraps his right arm around him, rubbing his back. He whimpers at the need rising in him and rubs his thumb against his bottom lip. He doesn't think Cas will notice if he does his comfort thing. He can't see him. His thumb's right there anyway. Deciding to  _fuck it,_ he places his thumb in his mouth and closes his lips around it, sucking on it and closing his eyes. It calms him down somewhat but he still clings to Cas tightly, feeling incredibly stupid but needing the comfort, regardless. "That's it, baby. Shhh. It's alright."  
  
Cas murmurs comforting things above him and Dean finds himself relaxing into him, his breathing slowing. His shoulders slump of their own accord and he leans fully against Cas, just breathing. "Shhh, there you are, honey. It's okay."  
  
  
  
**~Castiel~**  
  
  
  
Dean's sleeping. Castiel's not sure exactly what to do. Perhaps he should not let Dean know that he sees Dean sucking his thumb? Should he wake him? He doesn't want to. He's perfectly content sitting here holding him. The need to have the Little talk is becoming more and more of a pressing need. He's not sure how Dean would take it though, and he doesn't want to ass anything else to his already overfull plate. But he doesn't like keeping things from him. He should at least introduce the idea. Castiel looks down at his boy, still rubbing his hand over Dean's strong back, thinking. He does love this man. It's not right to keep things from him. Castiel needs to tell him. But when? Later tonight? Surely not when he wakes up, he'll be disoriented enough as it is. Unless Castiel is mistaken, in times of anxiety and panic, Dean slips into his own form of a little space anyway, which is what he believes happened a few minutes ago. As soon as his thumb was in his mouth he calmed down some and he was asleep a few minutes later. As he thinks more about when to broach the subject to Dean, he begins to sing. It's the same melody he sang to him after their session recently, one Dean seemed to like.   
  


 

_"Hey Jude, don't make it bad_  
_Take a sad song and make it better_  
_Remember to let her into your heart_  
_Then you can start to make it better"_

 He continues to sing very softly, running his left hand through Dean's hair. 

_'Hey Jude, don't be afraid_  
_You were made to go out and get her_  
_The minute you let her under your skin_  
_Then you begin to make it better.'_  
  


Dean makes a small noise and nuzzles his face against Castiel, making him smile. He's so cute sometimes. Castiel sings the next verse and Dean continues to move around more, making quiet happy sounds that make Castiel smile. When he finishes that verse, he strokes Dean's hair and whispers "Are you awake, honey?"

"Nuh uh." Comes the negative reply making him chuckle. "Oh, I think you are. You just don't want to admit it."

Dean shakes his head a tiny bit, making another negative noise. Castiel decides to just go with his instincts. "No, I think you definitely are." He starts to tickle Dean's sides, who gives a very unmanly squeal and sits up, pulling away from Castiel. Betrayal blazes in his eyes and makes Castiel grin. "See? I knew you were awake."

Dean rolls his eyes and lays back down on Castiel. "No more tickling," he says quietly. Castiel nods and says, "Okay. No more tickling. Are you okay?"

"Will be in a minute. I'm sorry."

"None of that. I don't need an apology. You were overtaxed today."

Dean snorts and mutters. "All I did was sell vegetables."

"And fruits," Castiel corrects, "But you spent almost the entire day talking to strangers animatedly, and I know you don't like that. It gives you anxiety. You were amazing today, love, I'm really proud of you. But that still cost you something. I think that's part of what happened a bit ago. It's okay though."

Dean mutters something intelligible and Castiel raises an eyebrow. "What was that?"

Dean raises his head up, looking at Castiel, "I said stop being right all the time." Dean offers him a small smile which Castiel returns five-fold and leans down to kiss his forehead. "I love you, you know?"

"I love you too," He says quietly, looking into Castiel's eyes like he's searching for something. 

"What is it?" Castiel asks confusedly.

"I just don't understand how you're real. How we're real."

"Maybe it was fate."

"I think we make our own future. But I really don't think it matters either way. I'm _happy_ with you. And I... I don't really know what that feels like. But I want to find out."

Castiel feels like this a moment of great magnitude he might not be prepared for but he bears on. "Me too. Only with you."

"Only with you," Dean murmurs, then he shifts up on his arms to kiss Castiel softly. They kiss for a long moment, just feeling each other, and to Castiel, it feels like something inside him heals. He's not sure what, but things feel better now, and he's willing to take that as a win. When they pull apart he gives Dean a long hug and then Dean pulls away, grimacing. "Your console is huge. And painful." He rubs his abdomen.

Castiel's dirty mind can't help but see the innuendo in that sentence and he grins.

Dean sees it and says, "Get your mind out of the gutter, Cas." But Dean grins and shakes his head, all traces of his previous mood gone.

"That's impossible with you around. You're very... thought-inducing."

Dean raises an eyebrow. "Though-inducing? That's the best you got?"

"Well, I thought you wanted my mind out of the gutter. What I wanted to say was that when you're around I'm consistently picturing bending you over every available surface and all manner of dirty things I could do to you. Those cucumbers earlier gave me some thoughts that-"

"Cas!"

Castiel grins and Dean just shakes his head, chuckling despite himself with red cheeks. "You are _never_ fucking me with a cucumber, you hear me?"

Castiel laughs and nods. "Alright. I'll mark cucumbers off the list. But I have plenty of other options for toys." He quirks an eyebrow at Dean and sees an instant reaction of arousal, accompanied with a small sound. _Hmm. Interesting._ He's going to have to try that some more.  "So are you hungry?"

"I'm like, starving. I need food. Something large and greasy. With fries." 

Castiel chuckles and puts his seatbelt back on. When he looks up from the buckle Dean's looking at him intensely. "What?"

"Thank you, Cas."

"You're welcome," Castiel smiles warmly and leans over for a quick kiss before putting the car in gear and pulling back onto the highway. It's nearly night now, and he's really looking forward to getting some food in his belly.  


~  


They drive and listen to music, both of them singing intermittently to the radio, Castiel's not even sure where he's going, he's just enjoying this.  
  
  
_"For the next few years dad was sick as a dog, but he made a recovery just to spite the odds._  
_Settlement came and we moved out of town, where the sky isn’t heavy with refinery clouds._  
_Yeah he’s still alive he’s doing good he’s in his fifties,_  
_But the money's running out, and he’s pinching for pennies._  
_So goin’ for broke with every song I’ve made, ‘cos now it’s my turn to keep the wolves away."_  
  
  
Dean belts out the lyrics to an Uncle Lucius song and Cas listens contentedly. It's been a really good day overall. He'd like a thousand more of them.   
  
  
  
~  
  
  
_Dear Dean, I'm doing good on all my tests and everything. Life's different out here. People are different. It's hard to explain, but anyway, the other day one of my professors, Mr. Marrigan, he said that I'm "excelling" in my classes, he gave me an A+ on my Abnormal Psychology. My friends say I'm basically absorbing these textbooks. I guess that means I'm doing well? How're you doing? Anything new at the shop? How's Benny?_  
  
Dean reads the small email over and over. It's been a while since he's heard from Sammy, and he didn't really say anything. Maybe he should take the time off to drive out to Stanford and just make sure everything's okay. Shit, no, he can't. He's got Cas now, and he's got the project with Mr. Zeinfield or whatever. He really needs to learn that dudes name. He replies to Sam's email as he lays in bed, waiting on Cas to get out of the bathroom.   
  
  
_Hey Sammy, that's great about your classes. That's awesome. I'm really proud of you. You meet any girls yet? Anybody interesting out there on the Coast? Me and Benny landed a job on a Camaro Zl-1 dude. It's AWESOME. God, it's a twenty-two thousand dollar deal just at the head. It's gonna put me and Benny in a real good place. And actually, besides all that, I'm doing pretty good. I met someone. And we're doing really good. Things are kinda looking up over here. How about you? And not just your grades, kid. I wanna hear about you._  
  
  
Dean settles into bed after Cas is out of the bathroom and falls asleep quickly. It's been a whirlwind couple of days and with diner food in his belly and the love of his life in his arms, sleep finds him dreamlessly.  
  
  
~  
  
  
**3:30 AM**  
  
**You have 7 unopened voicemails from Sammy.**  
  
**You have 15 new messages from Sammy.**  
  
****You have 1 unopened email from Sam Winchester. Preview:  _Dean, it's about Dad. He called me, drunk. He was raging- something about coming to find you and beating your-_  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How're all my peeps? What'd you think? Comments are always welcome and I love hearing from you guys! <3


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a piece of this that is from one of the amazing J.R.R. Tolkien's books, and it is, of course, not mine. The rest of it I claim though, proudly! 
> 
> For those of you that have stuck with me this long, thank you so much. As for all my newcomers, who come in what seems like droves every day, welcome to the Crazy. Today marks the one-year anniversary of Zippers! So happy birthday to my most popular fic! I woke up eight million times earlier than I needed to this week just to make sure I had enough time to get this written and posted for you guys.
> 
> Also a big thank you to my beautiful fiance who read this and gave me the ideas it took to get the rest of this chapter out today. You're the best, Love. <3

**Dean, it's about Dad. He called me, drunk. He was raging- something about coming to find you and beating your ass and "setting you back straight". He was saying all kinds of crazy things about how you need a lesson and to figure out what's wrong with your head. Have you talked to him recently? He's been blowing up my phone about you. I didn't think either of us had heard from him in a long time. Did you piss him off? Let me know if you need to come out here or something. Or I can take a few days off and come out there if you need me to. You don't have to deal with his stupid shit alone. I don't know why he's so angry with you. He just kept talking about how he was going to "set you straight" and "knock some sense into your head." I don't know what happened, but I know he's on his way there, assuming he doesn't plow into a tree or something. He was really wasted when he called. Be careful, Dean. Call me as soon as you read this, no matter what time.       ~Sam**    
  
  
Dean's eyes burn as they scan the screen with hawk-like intensity, raking over the raging, blinking little words on the screen. He can't even think. Everything is frozen.  _What the hell is going on?_  He shuts his phone off and puts it down on the bedside table without a thud. He continues to stare at it for several moments, trying to clear his head enough to even process what Sam just said. It doesn't make any sense. A sticky, almost sickly nausea is building in his gut, making him feel like he ate one too many eggrolls at that restaurant on Seventh street. With a rolling stomach, he shakes his head and pushes off the bed. Cas is still quietly sawing Z's behind him, tucked under the comforter like a little kid. It's kind of cute. He pads out of the bedroom and into the dark hallway. He sneaks through the house until he gets to the glass door in the living room that leads out onto the back deck. He slides it open with a quiet swish and steps down onto the stained cedar that Cas built his porch out of. Leaves are strewn across the bare boards and hoarded in the corners where it meets the house. Random ones crunch under his feet as he walks over to the rail and leans over it, hanging his head and thinking. Why do things like this always happen? What's he supposed to do now?   
  
He's been so happy.  
  
_You should've known it was too good to be true.  
_  
He just wants some peace for once. _  
  
Nothing can last forever.   
  
_ He needs time to stop. _  
  
Cas is going to leave you after he sees him.   
  
_ Cas wouldn't do that. He wouldn't. _  
  
Run. Run, and you don't have to deal with it at all._    
  
The thoughts circling his head are vicious birds pecking at his vulnerable insides, but for some strange reason, there's no panic. Just general, sickening fear, a pit in his stomach where his uneasy dread lies. Dean looks up at the sky - searching for an answer, or something to distract him, he's not sure. The stars are glittering gems strewn across the great empty velvet of the night, with the moon making the clouds shine into luminescent white puffs. It looks like a painting, or maybe something from a Harry Potter movie. He gazes up at the stars, his elbows on the railing, just breathing and trying to let his mind clear.  
  
He has no idea what to do, or how to fix this. Running's not an option. He's not worried about dealing with his dad. It's always something or the other that he's done wrong or hasn't done to the exact specifications given to him by the old man. It's Cas. He's only had the teaspoon sized version of all the baggage Dean's carrying. How's he going to react to John showing up here, or wherever Dean is and causing trouble? He has a laundry list of things that he doesn't need John knowing about, and the biggest of those would be about his boyfriend. The hell from that almost makes the thought of being a hermit profitable. Hell, logical. Why can't he just live a normal life? He puts his head back down, screwing his eyes shut in frustration. What the hell's he going to do?  
  
  
**~A decade and a few years before~**    
  
  
_"When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of special magnificence, there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton. Bilbo was very rich and very peculiar, and had been the wonder of the Shire for sixty years, ever since his remarkable disappearance and unexpected return. The riches he had brought back from his travels had now become a local legend, and it was popularly believed, whatever the old folk might say, that the Hill at Bag End was full of tunnels stuffed with treasure." Dean takes a breath watching Sam's eyes light with interest before flicking back down to the weathered page, "And if that was not enough for fame, there was also his prolonged vigour to marvel at. Time wore on, but it seemed to have little effect on Mr. Baggins. At ninety he was much the same as at fifty. At ninety-nine they began to call him well-preserved; but unchanged would have been nearer the mark. There were some that shook their heads and thought this was too much of a good thing; it seemed unfair that anyone should possess (apparently) perpetual youth as well as (reputedly) inexhaustible wealth. ‘It will have to be paid for,’ they said. ‘It isn’t natural, and trouble will come of it!’"_  
  
_"What's that mean, Dean?" Sammy interrupts. "Is Bilbo a bad man?"_  
  
_Dean looks up at his little brother, swathed in covers he nicked from the last motel and an anguished curiosity on his small face. He shakes his head, "Nah. Bilbo's actually pretty awesome. People are just judging him cause he looks better than they do."_  
  
_"Oh, well that makes sense. Keep going!"_  
  
_Dean rolls his eyes at the little brat, but smiles and turns his attention back to the tattered book he found two weeks ago (and has since devoured twice) and keeps reading the old words that nobody had thought were any good until after the dude died.  
  
"But so far trouble had not come; and as Mr. Baggins was generous with his money, most people were willing to forgive him his oddities and his good fortune. He remained on visiting terms with his relatives (except, of course, the Sackville-Bagginses), and he had many devoted admirers among the hobbits of poor and unimportant families. But he had no close friends, until some of his younger cousins began to grow up."  
  
He keeps reading until Sam falls asleep, then carefully marks the page with a sheet of notebook paper and places it in his bag. They won't have time to read any more until they're going to bed again, whenever that might be. He doesn't know where Dad is, or if he's coming back. He said he would, but Dean worries. He never used to leave them so much. He used to be a lot nicer too. He's not exactly a teenager or anything, but he's smart enough to know when someone's hitting the bottle, and his dad's been doing it a lot lately.  
  
A lot more than Dean thinks he ought to. Shouldn't he be taking care of them? Getting them to a nice house with food and stuff? A good school for him and Sammy? Is that too much to ask? Sometimes he thinks it might be way too much, he doesn't know if his dad can even do anything anymore.  
  
For the meantime, that leaves him in charge of Sammy and keeping him fed and making sure he gets his homework done even when he wants to be a brat about it. Hopefully, he can keep them okay until Dean's old enough just to take Sammy himself. He's definitely not going to leave him alone with Dad, not for all the money in the world._  
  
  
  
**~The Present, thankfully~**    
  
  
  
And he never did. Dean did his best with Sam and now he's stuck dealing with the same bullshit he was battling as a kid. Dean sighs and rubs his palms into his eyes, trying to think. All of a sudden, a single thought makes his blood run ice cold and his heart beats fast, reacting to the adrenaline just dumped into his veins.  _"Set him straight."_   Sam's words echo through his mind, clanging against usually empty spaces now brimming with terror. Does Dad know about Cas?   
  
"Son of a bitch!" He snarls. That has to be it. That's what everything was about. His heart thrums so fast he's sure it might burst out of his chest. What the hell is he going to do? He moves and sits on the steps leading out to the yard and rests his arms on his knees. Why'd he have to go and wake up in the middle of the night? He wouldn't have seen the message from Sam until he and Cas were awake together, but that's about how things go. It's not his fight anyway. Part of Dean's brain is whispering that, but a larger voice is telling him what he desperately wants to believe. If he loves you, it is his fight. In a sudden burst of energy, he throws himself off the steps and starts walking down the rocked path towards the fields where Cas keeps his bees.  
  
He's not sure what exactly he's doing, but he needs to move, he can't just sit there with all his thoughts burrowing into his brain like diamond-sharp razors. The grass is cold with dew but soft under his bare feet as he walks towards the hives.  
  
As he grows closer, it occurs to him that it's too quiet. There's no buzzing. The silence is a bit unnerving, he's used to the background hum of the thousands of honeybees by now, always flying in and out of the hives and landing on one of eight million of Cas' flowers. He's never really thought about what bees do at night. Maybe they sleep? Dean approaches the second hive in the bunch, he's not sure why that one, but it's as good as any other. He reaches the boxed hive and as his eyes search the top in the moonlight, he spots a lone bee lying on the cover. With furrowed brows, he bends over to take a closer look, wondering if it's dead. After a solid minute of evaluation he decides, no, it's not dead. Just sleeping. There are tiny, minute movements.   
  
What's it doing outside the hive, though? Do bees get cold? He remembers when he was a kid that he found a snake out in the road, it had just stopped moving even though it was in a dangerous spot. His dad's friend Bobby had told him it was because it had gotten too cold and the snake hadn't made it back to shelter in time.   
  
Dean hadn't really known what that meant until he'd looked it up, but he gets it now. He has no idea if bees are the same way. He moves forward a step and bends down to get a closer look. The bee's lying on its side, nearly completely still. He reaches a finger out and gently, very gently, touches the bee. She's soft, he finds. And he knows it's a female because Cas told him that honey bee workers are female. He's guessing this one was just out too long or something. He looks up at the sky, noting the growing clouds on the horizon. It might rain soon... Deciding he has to do something, he moves his cupped hand to the edge of the box. Goosebumps break out along his skin and race down his spine as he realizes what he's about to do. Very slowly, he pushes the little bee into his palm, just letting it lay exactly where it lands.  
  
He cups it gently and raises it to his face curiously, breathing warm air onto it and the bee gives a little start, wings fluttering. Dean's face scrunches up in concentration as he pulls the lid of the hive up, hoping and praying that he doesn't get swarmed by a thousand bees looking to destroy him. Nothing happens when he cracks it a little, so he raises it some more, and when again nothing happens, he just pulls it off and props it up against the bottom drawer of the hive. There's a little gap on the inner cover of the hive, and that's where the bees come in and out of, in addition to the bottom drawer. He remembers Cas telling him about it, but now he's not sure what to do.  
  
If he places the bee in there it might fall and get hurt, he's not sure how far it goes down. Looking at the space between the edges and where the cover goes, he decides that he should just put the bee on the top of the inner cover, and then put the lid back. It's not going to squish it or anything, he's positive. He gently places the bee on the cover, watching it closely so he doesn't crush its wings or anything, and when it's safely placed, he bends down to grab the cover.   
  
Without removing his eyes from the bee, he places the lid on the hive, quietly, and eases back away from the hive.   
  
The air whooshes in and out of his lungs and he realizes he's been holding his breath. The oxygen hits his brain and he gets a little dizzy, but he just closes his eyes and sways with it. It always goes away after a minute or two. He opens his eyes again and just looks up at the moon. It's bright and glowing and makes him feel alone. He doesn't really know why, but he also feels like he is supposed to be out here. Like maybe this was supposed to happen.  
  
He's never been much of a believer in fate or destiny or any of that other crap that fake psychics on TV sell, but he knows what he's feeling, and maybe this was just supposed to happen. Maybe Dad does know about Cas, and hell, if he does, that much the better. Emotionally, Dean's a wreck when it comes to his father, but he has no hold over him in any other way. Dean rents his house out of his own pocket, and his business is split evenly between him and Benny, and his dad can't touch that. One of the only things he can use against Dean, besides the usual emotional blows, is Sam.  
  
The thought gives him pause. If Dad can't get Dean to change his life according to how he sees it, then he might go after Sam.   
  
He could cause trouble at Stanford and get him kicked out. That absolutely cannot happen.   
  
He worked his fingers to the bone to get Sam into that school and he'll be damned if he's gonna let Sam suffer the consequences for their father. With a deep sigh, he turns around and begins to head towards the house, slowly making his way through the field. With a last glance at the hive, he begins up the rocky path and to the steps. The wood creaks a little under his feet as he returns to the porch, but it's not loud. Not with the crickets chirping and the relative background hum of the animals living in the woods. Taking one last look up at the sky Dean turns to head in and try to get some sleep.  
  
He still has no idea what he's going to tell Cas, but he's cold out here now and the rush of adrenaline that's faded away has left his eyes drooping and his limbs heavy. He closes the sliding glass door behind him and wrinkles his lip in dislike at the feel of the cold dew against his toes on the hardwood floor. He silently heads to the bedroom, being careful to not make a sound.  
  
He sneaks into the bedroom and just looks at Cas for a minute. He's on his side now, facing towards Dean and his mouth is open. Dean has to suppress a chuckle as he steps the bed, moving the blanket back. He slowly eases his weight onto the mattress, sitting slowly so he doesn't wake Cas, and then lays down. He's stiff as a bored and uncomfortable, the tension high as he tries to move closer to Cas without waking him up. It'd be easier to face Cas but Dean's man enough to admit to himself that he wants to be the little spoon, so he carefully scoots himself back against Cas, moving incrementally until he's pressed against him, back to chest. He lays his head on the pillow and slowly pinches the edge of the blanket in between his fingers so he can pull it up over him. He's cold after his trip outside and he really wants the warmth from Cas at his back to circulate to his front. He finally gets the blanket pulled up over his shoulder but he's still not comfy.   
  
Thinking a bit, he decides it's worth it and reaches behind him to grab Cas' wrist. He pulls it up over his waist and warm breath puffs across the top of his head. "Mmm, hello." Cas' voice is thick like warm honey and deep like thunder. He snuggles closer, wiggling his butt against Cas' crotch until he's completely encased in warmth from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet that he's placing against Cas' legs. Cas wraps his arm around Dean tightly, and pulls him even closer, muttering something too low for Dean to hear.   
  
"What?" He whispers. "I love you," Cas says again, nuzzling his nose against the back of Dean's head and Dean closes his eyes, reveling in the feeling.  
  
"I love you too." He replies quietly. Cas gives a little hum before promptly falling back asleep and releasing a light snore. It makes Dean smile and he realizes how perfect this feels, it's not a temporary thing. It's not something he can throw away, ever. This is a lifetime love. God, now he sounds like a Hallmark movie, but it feels so right. Cuddled into Cas like this, it feels like home. He always tried to make wherever he and Sam went a home. Whether it was an old house or a motel room, he always tried to make it homey. It never seemed to make a difference with Sam, but the kid deserved a good home. Laying here now, it occurs to him that maybe the old saying isn't wrong. A home isn't always four walls and a roof. Sometimes it's two arms and a heartbeat. This feels like forever. With the warmth of their combined heat and Cas' soft breathing, he's lulled to sleep, the stress just dissolving away under the weight of being so comfortable. He's at home.  
  
  
**~Castiel~**  
  
  
The world is quiet, so it's probably the smooth scent of strong coffee that wakes him. It's a rarity that Dean wakes before him. He rolls over and reaches out a hand to search the bed but only finds empty sheets.  
  
He raises his head groggily and cracks his eyes open just a little, the sunlight searing into his brain, but it's all to no avail. The bedroom's empty except for him. He throws his head back down on the pillow and yawns, stretching and relishing the creaking of his muscles, the popping of his bones. It's his weird morning ritual to wake his body up. It usually takes a strong cup of caffeine and some calories to get his brain to follow suit. Just as he's finishing circling his feet around, he hears the toilet flush in the bathroom and then the running of water. So Dean is still here. Castiel's fairly sure he has to work today, so he doesn't know how long that'll still be true, but he likes it anyway. Having Dean in his home makes him smile more often than it probably should, but he's loathed to change it. The bathroom door opens in the hallway with a small whoosh, then Dean's shuffling into the bedroom in raggedy sweats and nothing else. Some time in the middle of the night he's lost his t-shirt, and the sun casts a golden glow across his skin.   
  
"Hmm, well good morning, handsome," Dean grins and flops onto the bed.   
  
Castiel smirks and says, "Hello, beautiful."  
  
A pink blush rises to stain Dean's cheeks and he looks down at the rumpled sheets beneath them. "I'm not."  
  
"Oh, yes, you are." Castiel reaches over lightning fast and begins to tickle Dean, his fingers wriggling up and down his sides and Dean begins laughing and pulling away, flopping on the bed like a fish out of water. "Stoppit! Cas, stop, oh my God! This isn't funny!" He giggles, "Stop!"  
  
Cas laughs and takes his hands back. "Alright. You're safe. For now." He wags his eyebrows and Dean laughs and shakes his head, panting slightly from all the laughing. He rubs his side with accusing eyes. "You hurt me, you know."  
  
Castiel leans forward and glides his tongue along the shell of Dean's ear, "I'm sorry, Kitten." Dean inhales sharply. "I'll be more gentle next time."  
  
He pulls away and Dean is looking at him with wide eyes. "That's not fair." His voice is small enough that Castiel begins to question himself on the wiseness of that teasing. He doesn't want it to have adverse effects on Dean. Shit.   
  
"I'm sorry. Is teasing like that not okay? You've been okay with it before, or I thought you were."  
  
Dean looks away and sighs. "Normally, yeah, it'd probably be fine. I'm just... I'm not in a good headspace."  
  
Castiel's immediately alert. "What do you mean?"  
  
"I don't know, I'm just not alright, I guess."  
  
"Did something happen? Did you have more nightmares?"  
  
He just gives a sardonic laugh. "I'd call it a nightmare, yeah. But it's not anything to do with you, Cas. It's just some personal bullshit with me."  
  
Castiel's knits his eyebrows together. "What is it?"  
  
"It's nothing."  
  
"Well, clearly it's something."  
  
It feels like there's a distance between them almost immediately. Like they're on two separate beds instead of only lying inches apart - a coldness to the air. He doesn't like it at all, but he has no idea what to do here. The levity of the morning is gone though. He decides to try a different tactic. He wants to mend anything that might be broken before it has a chance to get worse.   
  
He reaches a hand out and strokes Dean's stubbled cheek gently until he looks up and meets his eyes. "I'm here. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'd really like to know what it is that's bothering you. If that's alright."  
  
Dean looks like he's gritting his teeth and he leans away from Castiel's hand, so he just lets it fall back to the bed, crestfallen and disappointed. "It doesn't have anything to do with you. It's just something I need to work out on my own, okay? I appreciate that you're trying to be helpful and everything, I do," Dean's eyes glance over at him, meeting for a solid few seconds, "Honestly. But it's just something I need to deal with on my own. I will tell you, okay? Just not right now."  
  
"Did... Did I do something?" His stomach twists in dread and fear with the question pinging around his mind.  _What has he done?_  
  
"No. You haven't done anything. This is just me, Cas. I promise."  
  
"Okay. I _am_ sorry."  
  
"It's not your fault," Dean rolls over onto his back and closes his eyes. "Hell, for once I don't even think it's my fault. Just something I need to deal with."  
  
"I mean..." Castiel pauses. "Do you want me to - Would you like to talk about it?"  
  
"Nah. I have to deal with this on my own for a while."  
  
"Uh, okay."   
  
For once, Castiel's at a loss for words. Dean's shutting him out. He knows that traditionally speaking the act itself isn't dramatic, but it feels dramatic to him. And it hurts. He tries to ignore the pain in his chest and the sickness in his stomach by pasting on a smile and saying, "Do you want some breakfast?"  
  
  
~  
  
  
"The hives are responding well to the new addition, I imagine we might see an increase in honey production up to three percent. Tell Saman it was an excellent idea," Castiel twiddles his pen back in forth between his fingers while looking around his office as he listens to Meg chat breezily on the other side of the line. He's enjoyed the time but he needs to get off the phone now, he has things to do. He listens for another moment or two before wrapping up.  
  
"You've been a big help, Meg. I'll have the papers faxed to you by Wednesday, okay? Alright, thank you. Goodbye. No, I know. Goodbye. Yes, I have it. Goodbye, Meg." He clicks the end button before she can interrupt with something else he already knows. She's a good friend and associate, but she talks entirely too much. He places the phone in its cradle and leans forward in the chair, rubbing his temples. The headache pounding away behind his eyes is only compounded by the fact that he just spent a half hour listening to her yammer for what should've been a two-minute phone call. Does he even have any aspirin?   
  
~  
  
After searching in the bathroom cabinet, every drawer in the house, and in his various jacket pockets, he concludes that no, he doesn't have any aspirin. Which means a trip to the store it is, he thinks grimly.   
  
  
~  
  
  
He pops three pills into his mouth and chugs a swallow of water down after them, rubbing his temple. He grips the steering wheel with one hand and the other fiddles with the radio dial. The parking lot to the CVS isn't very busy, so he's just sitting in a spot, trying to figure out what's bothering him about this morning. He knows it's what Dean isn't telling him, but he doesn't understand why it's irritating him so much. He's quite used to there being a modicum of privacy in all his relationships, personal or otherwise, so why is it that Dean's insistence on silence is nagging at him like a sore tooth?   
  
Rubbing a hand over his eyes he groans frustratedly. He can't force Dean to talk to him. That's not okay to do, not as a Dom or a partner.  
  
Then it clicks, and Castiel opens his eyes. That's why. He's Dean's  _partner._ Castiel wants Dean to talk to him and share everything, apparently, and since he hasn't Castiel feels rejected. Well... That seriously shouldn't have taken him half a day to figure out. With a deep sigh, he put the car into gear and pulls out of his spot. He doesn't really want to go home, but he has nothing else to do in town today. And he's spending the night alone on top of everything else. Dean said he had to go home and get some things done around the house, so he wouldn't be over tonight, but he'd drop by after work tomorrow. By the time he shuts his front door behind him, swathed in shadows, he feels so incredibly lonely that he's almost smothered with the feeling. What's he supposed to do now? Before Dean, he was a fully functioning independent individual. Now? He feels as if part of himself is gone now, attached to Dean's side, a commensalistic symbiosis of sorts. He's not entirely sure it's healthy but he's also not willing to change it for the sake of form's sake. It's not worth it in any capacity. But still, feeling like this isn't quite normal, perhaps he should talk to someone. Who?   
  
When he stops at a red light, he's pulled from his thoughts abruptly by a squealing sound under the hood. His eyebrows knit in confusion, but when it turns green and he presses the gas the squealing gets louder.  _What the-?_   With hesitation, he pulls off to the side of the road and drags his phone from his back pocket. He should call someone? No, this is ridiculous. He can take it to the shop like a normal person and see what's going on. A thought makes him pause. He  _could_ take it to Dean's shop...  
  
He doesn't even give it another thought, he just throws the car into gear, squealing included, and heads towards Dean's automotive shop.  
   
  
~  
  
  
He pulls up into the parking lot of the body shop/garage, admiring the neatness of it. He's done his best to ignore the screeching of the engine, but he's very seriously considered taking more aspirin. The only thing that's stopped him is that he knows it's dangerous, and frankly, he appreciates his liver for the job it does, he'd just as well keep it healthy.

Going inside, he finds the inside well-airconditioned and the smell of engine oil almost inviting. The room looks like a general waiting area like you'd find in a doctors office, or maybe an H&R Block. There's a fake plant in the corner, and a few chairs sitting against the wall, a coffee table with magazines on it, one he can see is ringed with coffee stains. There's a water cooler next to the plant and a few pictures on the wall. Walking over to inspect one he finds that it's a snapshot of an alligator resting its yellow eyes just out of the black bayou water.

"I took that shot from my boat," A deep voice says behind him, thick with a very authentic Louisiana draw. Castiel turns and finds a tall man with a brown beard and laughing eyes appraising him. "That's Big Earl Jones. He hangs out around the shrimping boats, begging for scraps. He looks a might fierce, but he's a big ole baby." The man grins and Castiel finds himself smiling back, this guy's attitude is infectious. "You look like you might be Dean's Castiel, huh?"

"I guess, you're Benny?"

They shake hands over the tall wooden counter and Castiel finds Benny's grip strong and rough, definitely a working man's hand. "That's me. Dean's told me a lot about you."

"I've heard about you as well. I'm pleased to meet you." Castiel retracts his hand and looks around. "You have a nice place here."

Benny looks around too, with a small smile on his face. "Yeah, it's something for sure. Is there something specific bringing you by today, or should I just grab Dean for ya?"

"No, actually, my car's making a squealing sound when I press the gas."

"Oh, I can fix that right up for ya, no problem."

They work out the logistics of everything and Castiel pulls his car into the garage area, letting Benny direct him onto the oil-stained concrete.

"I'll fix her right up for ya. You can wait in the lobby if you want, or you can go through that door there," He points to a far door in the corner, "And find Dean. He's working on his lil project in there like some kind of Einstein."

"Yes, I'll probably go visit with him. Thank you for your help."

"No problem, Cher. It's all in a day's work."

With that, Castiel leaves the man to his work and winds his way past air compressors and tables filled with oilcloths and wrenches of all sizes, and cars up on lifts. The door is just a beat-up wooden one and he turns the brass knob to be lead into a dingy hallway that inexplicably smells like erasers. The walls are thin wooden slats and he traces his hand along them until he reaches another door of the same design as the previous one. He opens it and it leads into a wide white room filled with fluorescent lights dangling in rows. There's rock music that Castiel vaguely recognizes as Metallica playing on a radio nearby. The entirety fo the bottom half of the wall is painted a blazing orange and it glares against the white. He expected more, but there are only two cars in the room. One is the beauty that Dean had described to him before, the Camaro. It really is gorgeous, even taken apart and he glides his fingers across the gleaming metal as he makes his way to the middle of the room. The other car is a 50's style Corvette, and there's a pair of jean-clad legs sticking out from under it. Bowlegs. Oh, and what beauties they are too. He hopes Dean is okay with him visiting while he's at work because now that he's seen those legs (Oh they look so good wrapped around his waist) he definitely has to go say hi. As he gets closer he begins to hear another voice though, a rather high, reedy voice of a woman. With curiosity, he circles around a column protruding from the floor and listens in.

"And I'm just so happy you're always so willing to help me. I mean, I *really* appreciate it."

Dean's response is just a rumbled, "Of course, no problem," from the underside of the car.

The appreciative woman in question is wearing booty shorts showcasing slightly wrinkled, tanning bed orange legs, and a tube top showing off cleavage only being held there by what has to be some seriously well-constructed underwire. Castiel instantly dislikes her, if not for the way she's attempting to flirt with his boyfriend, or even for the way she's eyeing Dean's crotch, but for the distinct smell of bullshit coming off her. As he gets closer he can see her twirling a bottle-blonde dye-job curl around a finger with a bright pink talon on it. His distaste grows immensely at the fact that she's completely ignoring his presence and continuing to flirt with Dean.

"Like, you're the best mechanic I know. That's why I always come here." She pauses, biting her blood red botox-filled lip, "Maybe instead of cash this time, I could find a way to repay you that might be, you know, more enjoyable for both of us."

His blood begins to boil and his vision tinges red. *He's mine, bitch.* Dean emerges from under the car on a rollerboard just as Castiel reaches the woman's side. His green eyes widen as he sees Castiel and his mouth falls open. "Uh, Cas. Hi."

"Um, who is this?" The woman gestures at Castiel with distaste written across her face and he looks at her with disgust.

"I am his boyfriend, so if you don't mind, I would very much like it if you stopped trying to prostitute yourself to him." She gasps loudly and Castiel reaches down and grabs Dean's hands. He hauls him up onto his feet and meshes their mouths together, startling Dean into a surprised moan of shock and surprise. Castiel grabs his ass and pulls Dean against him, savaging his mouth with his tongue. He pulls away when he feels like Dean might need some air to look over at the woman and she has her mouth dropped open slackly, just staring at them.

"You're gay?!" She rages at Dean.

Dean looks between her and Castiel, then simply replies, "What he said."

Castiel looks over at her, still holding Dean to him by a handful of denim-clad ass and growls, "You can take your business elsewhere, or I'll report you for illicit activities on the premises such as eliciting prostitution, attempts at bribery, and sexual exploitation." He just flies by the seat of his pants, trying to think of threatening things, but it clearly enrages her and her face changes into a Vulcan mask or anger.   
  
"I better not see you here again." She stomps her foot and lets out an entitled huff, "I'm reporting you to the business bureau! I'll have you fired for this! Give me my damn car keys back!" She practically shrieks as she wrenches her driver's door open.  
  
Dean pulls himself out of Cas' grip and gets the keys from his pocket. He throws them towards the woman and they smack her right in the face before she manages to catch them as they fall down into the gap of her overworked bra. She lets out another enraged shriek before throwing herself into the car and immediately screeching the tires and vaulting herself out into the sunshine through a large plastic curtain that he hadn't noticed before. Dean just looks at the plastic strips flapping in the wind between the space she left as she drove through, a small smile on his face. "Wow, that was hot-" His voice stops when he looks over at Castiel's face, seeing the predatory look on his features. "Whoa, what-"

"You're mine, dammit." He snarls and lifts Dean by his ass until he wraps his legs around him. Castiel pushes him against a pillar and grinds his hardened cock against Dean's stomach, making him whine. "You're all mine, she can't have you!"

"Take me, Cas. I'm yours."

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For everyone that's truly stuck with me and this roller coaster of a fic, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope I continue to entice you as fans, and enthrall you as readers. I love you guys, and you're the ones that inspire me every day to keep writing. So for everyone that's commented or kudoed or bookmarked, you guys are all stars. Thank you so much! Let's see this story through to the end! <3


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